dstar

I just need to talk to anyone. My recovering abf and I have been together for a long time almost 8 years. I have stood beside him through all his ups and downs encourage him to go to meetings everything you can imagine. No matter what I have always believed in him. The other day a woman called and she and I had some words she told me she had been with him the night before. I cried so hard and he told me it wasn't true that she had been text messaging him but he never meet with her. He then told me that we needed to end our relationship that he had enough going on in his life it was complicated. I was floored that morning we had kissed and hugged everything was fine until she called and guess who got kicked in the gut.. Me.. He told me to ignore her. He left to run an errand, later she sent me all the messages I guess to rub it in. He told her how I cried all day and that he just avoided me. He told her that he wanted to meet and hang out with her. They really had a good laugh at me. I don't understand him that is not the person I know.. It just hurts so bad, he told me someday I would meet someone and get over him. all of it out of the blue am I just suppose to just go ok. He isn't sleeping well at nights and sleeping most of the day. Is there something I am misssing? Do I just give up on him?

elizabeth1979

((dstar))

Ouch. That has to hurt emmensely. Do you have a good friend you can go see?
You will get alot of opinions here about your situation I am sure. Alcholism and infidelity seems to be a hot issue.

I dont know what to tell you to do. I know for ME, I would be done. Infidelity is something I will not tolerate at all. Even once.

It looks like you deserve someone that will be faithful and not tell you that someday you will meet someone else.

My heart hurts for you, take care of YOU!

pmaslan

All I can say is thank god you found out...he sounds like he would have
let it go on, if the OW hadn't called you.
He has moved on. I know it hurts but he is gone...
Please look at Girlfriends post, it may help you. (posted earlier today)
I am very sorry you are hurting so badly....
(((dstar)))

Nony

Hi dstar - I am new here too and I have no advice - I am still learning. But your post struck a familiar chord with me. I have gotten that kind of call before - the oh-so-smug sounding voice on the other end telling you what they think you ought to know about someone you think you know inside out. I remember feeling like a fool when I realized that there were other women with intimate knowledge of what I thought was an exclusive relationship.

I'm so sorry for your pain. Hang in there and just try to breathe. ((hugs))

Nony

somebodysfool

Elizabeth is right, you will get a lot of opinions regarding the OW. I am so sorry you are faced with this, it sucks. I've been the one who has called the OW to receive deny, deny, deny. It is super hard to tell them both to take a hike and to tell yourself you are better than tolerating this behavior. I can't. I envy the people who can and I work on getting to that place. I matter. No matter what he does. Deep breath, repeat...over and over.

J

dstar

Thank you all right now I don't feel like I matter much. I just wish I could go numb.

longlivediva

YOU MATTER, YOU MATTER YOU MATTER. LEAVE HIM with his new girlfriend. It doesnt matter what he thinks. What matters is that you seek your happiness...I've been where you are at right now. My ex husband cheated on me with another woman while he was addicted to drugs. I tried everything to save the relationship and at the end he wanted nothing to do with me. I HAD TO ACCEPT IT, and came the conclusion that it WAS HIS LOSS if he did not want to be with me. and today I am very very very happy and much better off with out him. YOU MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!! YOU DO MATTER!
PS: INFIDELITY does not go well in any way shape or form in my book. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and only YOU>

FriendofBill

Hi DStar...

Im sorry for your deep pain.....no one deserves to have a relationship end in such a cowardly, despicable way. Iknow you hurt now....but hopefully in time you will be able to see that this man is not one who you would wish to have as a partner. The cheating and eventual cowardice behavior afterwards is indicitive as a sick person.

You will heal. my friend, one day at a time...keep coming back,,,we will support you!

Cynay

Hey there... and let me add my *hugs* here

Im sooo sorry your hurting so much.

You did not say how long he has been in recovery and what program he is working? I know that it was after my ex got sober that he had another affair and left me and my daughter for someone else. That was not the first time though.. guess I was a slow learner.

Please know that it may hurt like heck right now, but give it time and you will come to realize that maybe God is saving you from a fate worse then what your going through now. I know that is true in my story with my ex. You know I was at bible study on Wed. night and his step-mom was there (lovely lady) and though I make it a point never to ask about the ex... she told me the one thing she is thankful for is that I NOT with my ex... that I got away.

Keep coming back, the support here is wonderful

Daffodil

((((DStar)))