brdlvr2

I've been to about 4 al anon meetings so far. I admit I should go more then once a week. I really like the group I'm in.

My question is how soon should I start the steps and getting a sponsor. I'm don't like to bother people so I've yet to use the phone list even when I need too. I'm also still kinda nervous so I don't stick around and talk after the meeting, seems everybody knows everybody and I'm new so I don't know what to say to those that are hurting.

thanks!

Cynay

You know the sponsor issue is pretty personal.... I would suggest that you do it when your comfortable and when you see someone that has what you want.

You cont have to say anything really to the ones hurting, your hurting too hon... but just maybe something someone says will help you in some way... The only reason they know each other is cuz they stuck around afterwards.

Im the same as you in that I dont stick around much, I dont "really" know anyone in the home group except my sponsor... Just give it time, and start the steps when you feel ready too.

nocellphone

Anytime's a good time to start working with a sponsor, provided you've found a person you're comfortable using in that capacity.

Al-Anon's brochure, "Sponsorship--What It's All About" is a great reference for learning about both ends of sponsorship.

As for "bothering" people... if they've put their numbers on a phone list, they're signifying a willingness to be called by other group members. I've never found an Al-Anon call to be bothersome. If I'm busy or can't take the time to talk, I let the caller know and it's always been ok.

And if you start hanging around after meetings, you might end up getting to know some pretty wonderful people just like yourself! There's a lot to be said for the "meeting after the meeting"...

I try to remember that this is a disease of denial, and sometimes that means that I deny myself opportunities for help and healing, despite them being right in front of me with no strings attached...

Whatever you do, I hope you choose to keep coming back!

brdlvr2

Thanks for the advice. I agree, I need to get out of my shell and just hang around afterwards and make conversation. I'll get there early next week and try it before the meeting. I will definitily keep coming back. I always hear something useful when I go.

nocellphone

...as I'm sure we hear from you! I've heard some of the most profound words of wisdom from people at their first meetings with about 45 whole minutes of recovery!

As I understand it, HP works through those He/She/It chooses to work through...

Daffodil

Even after all these years I've yet to leave an al-anon meeting feeling worse than when I walked in the door. (or even just the same).

One way to get to know people is just start lending a hand setting up for the meeting or cleaning up afterwords. There's something about doing dishes that really brings out the wisdom in a group.

Keep going back and more will be revealed.

JT

What Daff said...it may be hard for me to walk up to a stranger and talk but straightening up and washing the coffee pot come naturally. The meeting is a small part of the fellowship. Go early and stay late.

Oh and about those steps? I suspect you are beginning already. There is not much more admission of powerlessness than to walk into a room and ask for help.

Hugs,
JT

Cap3

You are already helping those who are hurting not by words but by your actions.That even being at the recovery meetings,your an example of wanting recovery.Wanting to change.Powerful example.You may want to get a tempory sponsor,in the beginning,,until you really get to know folks.The chair person at the meeting can announce that your looking for a temp,or full time sponsor.{If this is what you want to do.}In the meantime you can read over the books,
All the best of the best,
keep on,keeping on.
God Bless,and take care!!!!!!!!!