emily33

I had the evening off lastnight, I was very excited. NO Hockey, Yea!! It was nice to have the evening off and decide what I wanted to do.

My H chose not to nap yesterday without persuasion. WOW!!! No matter I had an agenda all of my own, and that was to sit and watch the red wings game. I even did my son's math home work lastnight with his help. lol It was fun refreshing my memory.

My youngest daughter told my H she was hungry and wanted Tacos, and he didnt even suggest that I make them, he did it. He took the hamburger out of the fridge, and it had leaked a little bit well more then a little in the drawer beneath it, cussing all the way. But made dinner, and commented he isnt doing dishes. So I had my oldest daughter do the dishes. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I went and got the laptop, and played at my son's school website, it is called parent connect, it is so cool, you can see your kids current grades, current assignments, all tests, all past assignments, how many points that were available, how many your child received, and the class average. I just love it. Anything that was highlighted in red were missing assignments. If that isnt the coolest. They update it daily. It would not be from lack of knowledge now. What a way to be involved, right at the tips of your fingers daily.

I did make apple crisp for a birthday at work today.

I feel a little guilty, and cant figure out why. I did not let my guilt over come me and I did what I wanted to do, but why the hell do I feel bad that I didnt cook and he was cooking???? I felt like I wasnt doing what I was suppose to be doing, this sinking feeling overcame me for just a short couple of seconds but it was there.

I wonder why I have such a hard time letting someone do something for me, but I will do everything in the world for someone else. I deserved lastnight, no doubt, but why any guilt at all. Is it because he cussed and complained while doing it. Was he trying to stir up feeling of inadequacy. Or is that me feeling inadequate?? What are some techniques or tools I can use to know it is okay and not feel guilt, or does this just take time. I did say to myself, I deserve this, It is okay. Will I really believe one day I do deserve this, although I know I do on one level, but question on another level. If this makes sense

Brammy

Hey I sometimes cuss all the way through making dinner even if it is Tacos. If he didn't ask you to do it, he was probably just trying to draw your attention to the fact that he was. You'll get used to it if you let yourself. Like I said, enjoy it, but don't forget to say thank you. We all need to hear it sometimes

emily33

I did tell him how much I appreciated him making tacos, and cleaning the fridge

I cant help to think, I dont get told thank you for washing his underwear and making his dinner, and doing the dishes.

Treat him how I would want to be treated right??

Brammy

They tell me that works. I can say that my SO started doing that (in his sober moments) but I had to be a little over the top with it at first. You know, let him know how good everything was and how I liked to watch him cook. Believe it or not, after a while, he'd be shaking his booty while chopping veggies as long as I sat at the breakfast bar and watched.

I'l admit I did start enjoying watching as he was a very attractive man.

JT

Emily...I am rolling my eyes as I type this but it does work. And the amazing thing is that the more I express my own gratitude the more he does. It's not as much as my empty pit of a personality might like but it is more than I get if I don't.

Someone has to "get it" for there even to be a chance and they say if nothing changes nothing changes. The one who "get's it" is the one who has to start the change.

Still rolling my eyes but it is the truth.
Hugs!