Gambling Addiction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 1
Gambling Addiction
I'm just wondering if I am the only gambling addict that has stumbled upon this website. I see an extreme amount of support for just about every addiction other than gambling. I would love some support from any recovering addicts. Thank you
Ask The Experts Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York City, N.Y.
Posts: 4
dear Imintoofar -
Here's the link to Gambler's Anonymous:
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/index.html
This forum deals, as you can see, with problems associated with substance abuse, but there's a lot of help available re: gambling elsewhere. Navigate your way through their site and see about finding some meetings near you.
best to you -
Guy
Here's the link to Gambler's Anonymous:
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/index.html
This forum deals, as you can see, with problems associated with substance abuse, but there's a lot of help available re: gambling elsewhere. Navigate your way through their site and see about finding some meetings near you.
best to you -
Guy
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
hello imintoofar and welcome to SR!!!!
i see you're from my home town!!!
i was just there for the thanksgiving weekend, wow i miss seeing those mountains!!
ya know?? i've been thinking lots lately about gambling and addictions...obsession...compulsion....
replacing one addiction with another, bottom line is its addiction.....people places and things...
i hope you find what you're looking for
feel free to message me anytime
oh yeah and...my name is Wendy
hugs
i see you're from my home town!!!
i was just there for the thanksgiving weekend, wow i miss seeing those mountains!!
ya know?? i've been thinking lots lately about gambling and addictions...obsession...compulsion....
replacing one addiction with another, bottom line is its addiction.....people places and things...
i hope you find what you're looking for
feel free to message me anytime
oh yeah and...my name is Wendy
hugs
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
Mmm....it sucks , dosen't it??
It's worst than drugs
It started out as just going out and having a good time....yeah
we actaully won $20
I actually never spent a couple of grand in one night on dope,
but i gambled it away many, many times.
And we actually have to drive at least 50 miles.
I never had to make a 50 miles dope run.lol
I stayed 4 days straight before...don't drink the coffee.lol
Kind of like going to a bar with $20 or $200
you don't leave until you're broke.
I tried reaching out to GA but there's no GA on my area.
There damn casino in every direction I drive though.
It's bad when you can't get pass the casinos.
And they want to build more and more.
My life is a mess, mess, mess.
My live in, just dump all of her money last night.mmmm 18 hrs.
The wreckage and chaos is the same...on the bottom of the scale.
well....it's life and death. You loose everything and more.
any how .."drug of chioce"..think of it as method of chioce of destruction.
The salution is the same, for me.
It's worst than drugs
It started out as just going out and having a good time....yeah
we actaully won $20
I actually never spent a couple of grand in one night on dope,
but i gambled it away many, many times.
And we actually have to drive at least 50 miles.
I never had to make a 50 miles dope run.lol
I stayed 4 days straight before...don't drink the coffee.lol
Kind of like going to a bar with $20 or $200
you don't leave until you're broke.
I tried reaching out to GA but there's no GA on my area.
There damn casino in every direction I drive though.
It's bad when you can't get pass the casinos.
And they want to build more and more.
My life is a mess, mess, mess.
My live in, just dump all of her money last night.mmmm 18 hrs.
The wreckage and chaos is the same...on the bottom of the scale.
well....it's life and death. You loose everything and more.
any how .."drug of chioce"..think of it as method of chioce of destruction.
The salution is the same, for me.
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
yup...me to Nutz.....been going to bingo myself way to often lately
i said to a gal yesterday...maybe we should start a bingo anonymous
ya we chuckle....but inside i was serious
i remember one of my coucillors from treatement, she is a gambling addict...today she won't even flip a coin....
"method of choice of destruction"....
i am powerless
i will not drink, drug or gamble today
just for today
hugs, Wendy
i said to a gal yesterday...maybe we should start a bingo anonymous
ya we chuckle....but inside i was serious
i remember one of my coucillors from treatement, she is a gambling addict...today she won't even flip a coin....
"method of choice of destruction"....
i am powerless
i will not drink, drug or gamble today
just for today
hugs, Wendy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
Hello you all... great topic for me. I took on gambling a bit when I first got sober. The problem was I won a bunch of money and then I found myself going back, time after time, in search of that same winner feeling. I started getting the same urges to gamble as I did for a bottle or a bag.. All these casinos popping up everywhere don't make it any easier. Of course I can pass by the liquor stores now without patronizing them SO I can also learn to recognize my addiction towards gambling. If I eat one donut or sweet roll I'm off following my sugar addiction too. My name's Michele and I am an addict of just about everything!
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
The compulsive, obcessive behaviors.
There mentions of it , in the AA book.
I didn't gamble until 8 years of being clean and sober.
It took around three years for me to hit bottom, which then
I relapsed into the physical part of the disease.
Thorughout this whole gambling experienment.lol, I disconnected
myself from my higher power. It was a consiouse dicision. I couldn't
accept loosing the twins. Thourghout those three years, my HP or god
reached out to me, many, many, many times and kept me out of harms
way. I knew it. It just hurts so much. I, my mind, heart, soul couldn't not
process it anymore. I lost a duaghter( jordan) due to my drinking and using.
In recovery I lost 2 step duaghters (tiffany & kelsey) due to a fail relationship
with there mother. I love the girls so much, loosing them took everything
out of me, which I stayed clean and sober throughout that. So...loosing
the twins. I lost all hope in everything and I was pretty much pissed-off
at god. Y me ??. Y this ?? All the questions that a human would ask I
suppose.
I was only able to grieve over the twins shortly after I found this web site.
Embrace (accept) your pain ...I guess.
Gambling was just my way of running. Life on life's terms can be a bitch.
It's a phyiscal, MENTAL, and spritual dis-ease.
Gambling is on the mental level.
There mentions of it , in the AA book.
I didn't gamble until 8 years of being clean and sober.
It took around three years for me to hit bottom, which then
I relapsed into the physical part of the disease.
Thorughout this whole gambling experienment.lol, I disconnected
myself from my higher power. It was a consiouse dicision. I couldn't
accept loosing the twins. Thourghout those three years, my HP or god
reached out to me, many, many, many times and kept me out of harms
way. I knew it. It just hurts so much. I, my mind, heart, soul couldn't not
process it anymore. I lost a duaghter( jordan) due to my drinking and using.
In recovery I lost 2 step duaghters (tiffany & kelsey) due to a fail relationship
with there mother. I love the girls so much, loosing them took everything
out of me, which I stayed clean and sober throughout that. So...loosing
the twins. I lost all hope in everything and I was pretty much pissed-off
at god. Y me ??. Y this ?? All the questions that a human would ask I
suppose.
I was only able to grieve over the twins shortly after I found this web site.
Embrace (accept) your pain ...I guess.
Gambling was just my way of running. Life on life's terms can be a bitch.
It's a phyiscal, MENTAL, and spritual dis-ease.
Gambling is on the mental level.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 33
Hi there! I haven't been around for sometime (since May 2005) about the same time that my computer crashed. Recently got a new one. It's good to read the feedback on this thread - I too struggle with gambling.
No GA here so I ordered the GA book and I realize now that I didn't bother to read the book - figured that 'willpower' could an would if it were sought. Actually I didn't want to do the work or have to think - I wanted a magic wand to remove the chaos of 'chasing' or 'being dragged by the nose' to tickets, scratchies, and bingo. Chasing the big win. Telling myself that if I win the 'big one' for sure I'm gonna stop. Controlled!
I started gambling as most as entertainment and beginners luck then moved into that frenzy of trying so hard to recapture the good old days. The more I lost the more dishonest with myself and others I became. I have no control when I'm around the tickets and that cheeses me off. I leave my bank card at home most of the time - the times I don't is when I convince myself that I won't withdraw $ to play but deep down I know exactly what I've planned.
Nutz mentioned that gambling is on the mental level and that is for sure - at the end of some nights my mind is definately on tilt as a result of losing, spending and even when I win big! The sick part, after a binge for me, is that gambling is on my mind most of my waking hours until I rest up and feel better. No different than going back out to drink after the hangover wears off.
It was about 2 years ago that I started - I had reached an all time low in my life after several deaths in my family and a sick work environment. My son had grown up and moved on and I was like a bird let out of its cage for the first time - free to do what I wanted. Wasn't long before I felt useless and unwanted - with no purpose! Gambling became my escape from all the craziness going on around me and within me AND when all the craziness settled I realized that in the meantime - I was addicted! Sucker-punched! Sidelined!
I was shocked that this happened mostly because I should have known better having been clean and sober for 18 years (still am) working the AA program (or so I thought). I'm not so embarrassed anymore just disgusted. How could I let this happen? I shoulda known better that I was switching addictions. I justify alot saying to myself, yeah it's common for those of us who sobered up to start gambling and thought true - I make no effort to stop and I want to but I cannot do this alone. I want to get 'with the program' again but in a place where gambling is the norm - it is too easy to try my luck one more time. I really do feel alone but I don't feel so unwanted anymore - I want me back. I gave up on life then by feeling sorry for myself and now I want to live a productive life again.
I pray this thread continues because sharing helps me and I haven't found a site that has on-line GA meetings.
Hi to Mike (time2surrender) and Andy - it's good to be back online.
No GA here so I ordered the GA book and I realize now that I didn't bother to read the book - figured that 'willpower' could an would if it were sought. Actually I didn't want to do the work or have to think - I wanted a magic wand to remove the chaos of 'chasing' or 'being dragged by the nose' to tickets, scratchies, and bingo. Chasing the big win. Telling myself that if I win the 'big one' for sure I'm gonna stop. Controlled!
I started gambling as most as entertainment and beginners luck then moved into that frenzy of trying so hard to recapture the good old days. The more I lost the more dishonest with myself and others I became. I have no control when I'm around the tickets and that cheeses me off. I leave my bank card at home most of the time - the times I don't is when I convince myself that I won't withdraw $ to play but deep down I know exactly what I've planned.
Nutz mentioned that gambling is on the mental level and that is for sure - at the end of some nights my mind is definately on tilt as a result of losing, spending and even when I win big! The sick part, after a binge for me, is that gambling is on my mind most of my waking hours until I rest up and feel better. No different than going back out to drink after the hangover wears off.
It was about 2 years ago that I started - I had reached an all time low in my life after several deaths in my family and a sick work environment. My son had grown up and moved on and I was like a bird let out of its cage for the first time - free to do what I wanted. Wasn't long before I felt useless and unwanted - with no purpose! Gambling became my escape from all the craziness going on around me and within me AND when all the craziness settled I realized that in the meantime - I was addicted! Sucker-punched! Sidelined!
I was shocked that this happened mostly because I should have known better having been clean and sober for 18 years (still am) working the AA program (or so I thought). I'm not so embarrassed anymore just disgusted. How could I let this happen? I shoulda known better that I was switching addictions. I justify alot saying to myself, yeah it's common for those of us who sobered up to start gambling and thought true - I make no effort to stop and I want to but I cannot do this alone. I want to get 'with the program' again but in a place where gambling is the norm - it is too easy to try my luck one more time. I really do feel alone but I don't feel so unwanted anymore - I want me back. I gave up on life then by feeling sorry for myself and now I want to live a productive life again.
I pray this thread continues because sharing helps me and I haven't found a site that has on-line GA meetings.
Hi to Mike (time2surrender) and Andy - it's good to be back online.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Ideal
Anyone have any ESH to share?
Food addictions need a little modification...as we do need to eat but even with food, as with other addictions...need to get to the root of the issue...
Why do we do it and then work on the triggers that pull us back in.
Work the steps...daily, in all areas of our life.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Hi,
And welcome to SR!!!
I guess I would be a member of Gam-Anon. My ex husband is a gambling addict. He's almost lost our home twice. We went bankrupt as he used the mortgage to gamble with. One of the reasons we divorced. Today, he still refuses to acknowledge that it's a problem for him. It's an insidious desease.
I still have strong negative feelings about gambling, which I do need to work on. And every time there's a referendum, I vote "NO." They want to build a casino in our state, to compete with Ct casinos. And the governor has increased the number of slot machines at two area gambling places already.
Why don't the gams, (probably not the best terminology to use here, huh?
), and the gam anons meet in the cafe or in what is recovery forum? There's no reason we can't support each other. While the majority of this site is for substance abuse, on the front page, it does say gambling along with the other issues involved here at SR. Sr is all about recovery.
Shalom!
And welcome to SR!!!
I guess I would be a member of Gam-Anon. My ex husband is a gambling addict. He's almost lost our home twice. We went bankrupt as he used the mortgage to gamble with. One of the reasons we divorced. Today, he still refuses to acknowledge that it's a problem for him. It's an insidious desease.
I still have strong negative feelings about gambling, which I do need to work on. And every time there's a referendum, I vote "NO." They want to build a casino in our state, to compete with Ct casinos. And the governor has increased the number of slot machines at two area gambling places already.
Why don't the gams, (probably not the best terminology to use here, huh?
), and the gam anons meet in the cafe or in what is recovery forum? There's no reason we can't support each other. While the majority of this site is for substance abuse, on the front page, it does say gambling along with the other issues involved here at SR. Sr is all about recovery. Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 33
Hi there! I appreciate your responses Best and History, thank you.
Some of you know that I've been reaching out for awhile regarding my gambling addiction - the problem I've been having is that I did not know how to start over.
I may have found a way to start again. For anyone interested I found some very good help at xa-speakers.org. You may have heard about Joe and Charlie - they speak on the first 160 pages of the AA book. I certainly can identify with what they have to offer.
Take care...
Some of you know that I've been reaching out for awhile regarding my gambling addiction - the problem I've been having is that I did not know how to start over.
I may have found a way to start again. For anyone interested I found some very good help at xa-speakers.org. You may have heard about Joe and Charlie - they speak on the first 160 pages of the AA book. I certainly can identify with what they have to offer.
Take care...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: cleveland, ohio
Posts: 1
Hi!
I was wondering the same thing...
My husband is an online poker player and he can't get away from it. We fight A LOT and I am ready to leave, but we have an 8 month old baby and leaving is not that simple anymore. I don't know where to turn for help. I am getting desperate.
I would appreciate very much any advice / lead you can give me.
Thank you.
I was wondering the same thing...
My husband is an online poker player and he can't get away from it. We fight A LOT and I am ready to leave, but we have an 8 month old baby and leaving is not that simple anymore. I don't know where to turn for help. I am getting desperate.
I would appreciate very much any advice / lead you can give me.
Thank you.
Ask The Experts Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York City, N.Y.
Posts: 4
Dear romcat -
Any addiction - whether to alcohol, drugs, sex, food or gambling - is a disease, and without help, especially that offered by 12 step programs, the addict generally is powerless on his own to change his behavior. You may have heard of Alanon and Naranon - 12 step groups designed to help loved ones of addicts and alcoholics - which offer the kind of support and guidance I know you could benefit from. I have no idea if Gamblers Anonymous offers a similar support group, but you might contact them and find out - the link to the Gamblers Anonymous site appears earlier in this thread. The thing to remember is that no amount of chastizing or nagging will get at the root of your husband's problem - HE has to want to seek help. You might want to see if he'll agree to couples counseling, with a therapist experienced in addictive problems, or perhaps seek such counseling yourself if he won't agree to it. It's even possible Alanon might work for you - no reason you couldn't give that program a try.
I'm sorry to hear of your pain - I hope you can get through one or more of the above measures some solace and perspective about the nature of the disease from which your husband suffers. Maybe your reaching out for help will let your husband know just how seriously affected you are by his behavior - and induce him to reach out for help, too. I hope so.
best to you -
Guy
Any addiction - whether to alcohol, drugs, sex, food or gambling - is a disease, and without help, especially that offered by 12 step programs, the addict generally is powerless on his own to change his behavior. You may have heard of Alanon and Naranon - 12 step groups designed to help loved ones of addicts and alcoholics - which offer the kind of support and guidance I know you could benefit from. I have no idea if Gamblers Anonymous offers a similar support group, but you might contact them and find out - the link to the Gamblers Anonymous site appears earlier in this thread. The thing to remember is that no amount of chastizing or nagging will get at the root of your husband's problem - HE has to want to seek help. You might want to see if he'll agree to couples counseling, with a therapist experienced in addictive problems, or perhaps seek such counseling yourself if he won't agree to it. It's even possible Alanon might work for you - no reason you couldn't give that program a try.
I'm sorry to hear of your pain - I hope you can get through one or more of the above measures some solace and perspective about the nature of the disease from which your husband suffers. Maybe your reaching out for help will let your husband know just how seriously affected you are by his behavior - and induce him to reach out for help, too. I hope so.
best to you -
Guy
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canandaigua NY
Posts: 8
hello all. my husband has also gotten into the gambling and lost quite abit of money. what a horrible spring and summer this past year. when does it ever end. he told me he wants help but turns around and goes out and does the same thing all over again. was picked up for dwi and now is awaiting court to see what happens. how does one cope with all this stress and turmoil. do they ever get really serious with thier life and realize its not a jok. very heartbroken. thanks
Ask The Experts Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York City, N.Y.
Posts: 4
dear crochetlady -
if your husband was picked up for a dwi - sounds like he may benefit not only from Gamblers Anonymous but from Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous (depending what he was under the influence of). But ALL of this indicates that you could be helped by Alanon. Why not find and go to a meeting?
best,
Guy
if your husband was picked up for a dwi - sounds like he may benefit not only from Gamblers Anonymous but from Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous (depending what he was under the influence of). But ALL of this indicates that you could be helped by Alanon. Why not find and go to a meeting?
best,
Guy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 33
Wow! I waited a bit after my last post and then just walked away from it thinking that it wouldn't continue and it did...good to see!
I mentioned earlier that I live in a community where gambling is a norm. At the AA meetings we are all gamblers - some still active and it's frustrating for me anyway. I don't think that it's wrong that I refuse to lay back in my chair and say, 'at least I'm sober.' Mentally I'm not!! I don't know...maybe I can't wrap my brain around that way of thinking.
You know people...I want to stay stopped but I cannot do this alone! I need to share/vent.
Has this started? If so, show me the way to get there and when - I'm a gam! 
I apologize for sounding so pushy...and I apologize to the originator of this thread for hijacking it...I just want help!
I mentioned earlier that I live in a community where gambling is a norm. At the AA meetings we are all gamblers - some still active and it's frustrating for me anyway. I don't think that it's wrong that I refuse to lay back in my chair and say, 'at least I'm sober.' Mentally I'm not!! I don't know...maybe I can't wrap my brain around that way of thinking.
You know people...I want to stay stopped but I cannot do this alone! I need to share/vent.
Why don't the gams, (probably not the best terminology to use here, huh? ), and the gam anons meet in the cafe or in what is recovery forum? There's no reason we can't support each other. While the majority of this site is for substance abuse, on the front page, it does say gambling along with the other issues involved here at SR. Sr is all about recovery.
), and the gam anons meet in the cafe or in what is recovery forum? There's no reason we can't support each other. While the majority of this site is for substance abuse, on the front page, it does say gambling along with the other issues involved here at SR. Sr is all about recovery.
I apologize for sounding so pushy...and I apologize to the originator of this thread for hijacking it...I just want help!
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
Hi jack ???? what tha ???
Don't be sorry for trying to reach out , vent get better.
Nobody has the conner on the market for recovery.
I can emptitize with you. There's no GA in my aera.
And yes...some peaple with decade of sober time in AA,
take blinde eye to it,Well...beucase they're gambling too.
Trust me the casino are full of senior citizens. As I mentioned
I've met many and many of Bill Wilson's (recocerying alki)
friends in casinos.
I had to admit I had a problem,first.
I applied the principles in all my affairs (#12)
I'm also a memeber of NA, which helps broaden my mind. (addiction)
So i just replace the words alcohol with gambling for step #1.
Yes, I can't go into epecific details of gambling in these different
fellowships. Oh...those newcomers, 90days wonders
1-5 years hard knocks with a special blend of AA or recovery.lmaf
God forgive them, for they do not know.
A quote from the AA BIG BOOK..gose somthing like
" a house wife speding her days gambling and putting the family's
finacial at stake"
I do the best with what I have.
And every so often, I have peaple come up to me.
"Yeah...dude, I went gambling the other day and lost all my money.
Hey, you where right.. the rush and coming down is just like
get high and drunk...and damit, I can't pay my bill cuz I lost all my money."
" man I fell like crap"
Don't be sorry for trying to reach out , vent get better.
Nobody has the conner on the market for recovery.
I can emptitize with you. There's no GA in my aera.
And yes...some peaple with decade of sober time in AA,
take blinde eye to it,Well...beucase they're gambling too.
Trust me the casino are full of senior citizens. As I mentioned
I've met many and many of Bill Wilson's (recocerying alki)
friends in casinos.
I had to admit I had a problem,first.
I applied the principles in all my affairs (#12)
I'm also a memeber of NA, which helps broaden my mind. (addiction)
So i just replace the words alcohol with gambling for step #1.
Yes, I can't go into epecific details of gambling in these different
fellowships. Oh...those newcomers, 90days wonders
1-5 years hard knocks with a special blend of AA or recovery.lmaf
God forgive them, for they do not know.
A quote from the AA BIG BOOK..gose somthing like
" a house wife speding her days gambling and putting the family's
finacial at stake"
I do the best with what I have.
And every so often, I have peaple come up to me.
"Yeah...dude, I went gambling the other day and lost all my money.
Hey, you where right.. the rush and coming down is just like
get high and drunk...and damit, I can't pay my bill cuz I lost all my money."
" man I fell like crap"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 33
You're right Nutz...I'm going to start a thread or resurect (sp) one - and vent! Thanks for the kick in the b...
Edited to add...my posts are all over the place (like my mind - lol) so I'll just continue here. I admit that feeling sorry for myself is not helping anyone but here goes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Staying away from the pull tabs is a huge struggle for me. I feel so bloody weak cause I let my emotions get in the way of making the right decisions for me. Recently a member of the club died suddenly - we were all in shock. We had a memorial service before the meeting (which I was attending once per month).
The president asked me (in front of others) if I wanted to take over the role of 'Membership' and I agreed. I said...it would be an honor in her memory. I was 'pleased' with myself until a few days later. I realized then what I had agreed to would require my presence at the club more than one day a month. For now...I haven't taken the books and have arranged to talk to the president about having a membership rally at the meeting rather than on a 'as a when' basis.
I've also been questioning the importance of being a part of this committee. Their purpose is to assist elders and youth......anywho
The temptation is huge when I'm there and it takes days to overcome. To play the tabs is always in the back of my mind - lurking and I hate it. Within I'm always begging for help. I've asked those that are struggling with gambling if they'd be interested in meeting with me to talk about quitting gambling. They agree to but only AFTER the bingo.
Addiction is addiction is addiction - I read that somewhere and I think about that often.
Somedays I feel great - the fog has lifted, I'm focused, I feel joy again and then I get this sneaky thought that it's okay to play just for awhile. That I don't really have that bad of a problem. That I deserve a few good tabs.
And the days in between...reality! Bills, bills, bills. Not enough of my paycheck to pay them all. I make the calls to those to let them know I will pay the bill next pay and I'm always shocked that they say...no problem, you're credit good with us. Then I realize that I'm making a mountain out of nothing.
Then there are those days that I feel like crap and I just don't care anymore. The thought to go play comes and goes - I come up with the excuse that I don't want to go to the club anyway cause I hate everybody there and what the club stands for. It really is a sick environment. Seems this is the place I need to make my break - it is the source right now.
But the bottom line is that I am deeply ashamed that I got myself into this mess. I am deeply ashamed and sorry that I started gambling. THIS is exactly how I felt when I got into a relationship that went bad. I was fooled and very ashamed. I kept it a secret for a long time. I was embarrased that I made a mistake. I did eventually get out of that relationship, thank God. In a small town of 3500 there are those that thrive on other's mistakes.
Gambling has my head spinning and I have never felt so strongly that I really need support of those that have been there, done that. I do...I need feedback so I don't feel alone. When I post and there's no replies then I think that no-one cares. I cannot get well on my own and I really don't think that I can think myself well.
Then I see the 800 something views and I KNOW gambling addiction is of interest to many out there.
Thanks for listening. Now I'm exhausted and I will be back. God bless.
Edited to add...my posts are all over the place (like my mind - lol) so I'll just continue here. I admit that feeling sorry for myself is not helping anyone but here goes.
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Staying away from the pull tabs is a huge struggle for me. I feel so bloody weak cause I let my emotions get in the way of making the right decisions for me. Recently a member of the club died suddenly - we were all in shock. We had a memorial service before the meeting (which I was attending once per month).
The president asked me (in front of others) if I wanted to take over the role of 'Membership' and I agreed. I said...it would be an honor in her memory. I was 'pleased' with myself until a few days later. I realized then what I had agreed to would require my presence at the club more than one day a month. For now...I haven't taken the books and have arranged to talk to the president about having a membership rally at the meeting rather than on a 'as a when' basis.
I've also been questioning the importance of being a part of this committee. Their purpose is to assist elders and youth......anywho
The temptation is huge when I'm there and it takes days to overcome. To play the tabs is always in the back of my mind - lurking and I hate it. Within I'm always begging for help. I've asked those that are struggling with gambling if they'd be interested in meeting with me to talk about quitting gambling. They agree to but only AFTER the bingo.
Addiction is addiction is addiction - I read that somewhere and I think about that often.
Somedays I feel great - the fog has lifted, I'm focused, I feel joy again and then I get this sneaky thought that it's okay to play just for awhile. That I don't really have that bad of a problem. That I deserve a few good tabs.
And the days in between...reality! Bills, bills, bills. Not enough of my paycheck to pay them all. I make the calls to those to let them know I will pay the bill next pay and I'm always shocked that they say...no problem, you're credit good with us. Then I realize that I'm making a mountain out of nothing.
Then there are those days that I feel like crap and I just don't care anymore. The thought to go play comes and goes - I come up with the excuse that I don't want to go to the club anyway cause I hate everybody there and what the club stands for. It really is a sick environment. Seems this is the place I need to make my break - it is the source right now.
But the bottom line is that I am deeply ashamed that I got myself into this mess. I am deeply ashamed and sorry that I started gambling. THIS is exactly how I felt when I got into a relationship that went bad. I was fooled and very ashamed. I kept it a secret for a long time. I was embarrased that I made a mistake. I did eventually get out of that relationship, thank God. In a small town of 3500 there are those that thrive on other's mistakes.
Gambling has my head spinning and I have never felt so strongly that I really need support of those that have been there, done that. I do...I need feedback so I don't feel alone. When I post and there's no replies then I think that no-one cares. I cannot get well on my own and I really don't think that I can think myself well.
Then I see the 800 something views and I KNOW gambling addiction is of interest to many out there.
Thanks for listening. Now I'm exhausted and I will be back. God bless.
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