clm

I would like to know if there is a facility that allows family members to place a troubled member into their program even if that person does not want to seek help.
We are very worried about this member and know that treatment is the only thing that will save him.

hotwingeatter

THE ONLY WAY TREATMENT WILL WORK IS IF THEY WANT TREATMENT. not yelling

Jon

The only way to "commit" someone to any kind of treatment (but mainly psychiatric) would be to prove that they are either incapable of taking care of themself, (quite literally), or pose an actual, physical danger to themself or another.

Any good addict isn't stopping until it's time to stop.

clm

Can you direct me towards more information on this approach?

Brookie

Is the person a child? I would think the rules would be very different between forcing an adult and a child into treatment.

Jon

Sure, but Brookies question is important. Is this a child or an adult?

clm

Adult

earlybird

Treatment centers are a waste of time if the person doesnt want to quit. I know that sounds harsh, but its true. I watched people in the one I went to who slept through classes and meetings, bi tched ALL the time about everything. Only wanted to play pool, smoked in their rooms after being told 1000 times NOT to,...and complained how they didnt belong there. They ALL relapsed. Out of 12 that I know of,....5 of them are now dead, one of them is "brain-dead" from drinking while they were driving, 2 of them are homeless, and the rest are still drinking or using. Yeah,.....they didnt belong. Whatever. Point being, you cant FORCE abstinence on anyone. They are going to do what they want to do and if drinking or using is what they still want to do, ..guess what?.....they're gonna drink and use. Maybe if you cut this person out of YOUR life and go to al-anon meetings to get YOU right, this person will see that they're drinking or using DOES have consequences. Because right now, all they see is you breaking your a55 in half trying to help them. They need to realize bad consequences for their actions. Until then,...they will NOT admit they have a problem or seek help. The way they see it,...no consequences equals no problem. Your hearts in the right place, but you are just being an enabler. Think about it in these terms:

Lets say you like your haircut. Everyone else absolutely hates it. It really does look hideous but you just cant see that. Since you dont see your hairstyle as a problem you would naturally take offense if you heard that your friends or family were calling salons around town looking to book an appointment for you. Even if they DID manage to drag you into the salon or barbershop,...you would hate every minute of it and the minute you left,..you would begin to let it grow back to its original style and length.

roadie58

ditto earlybird. most treatment only works when the patient realizes the nature of the problem. We have to reach our 'bottom', which is different for each person.

Some get it early before losing job, spouse, kids, house, car, health.
Some have to have their liver half rotted and live under a bridge.

There is no way of knowing where they'l end up.

You might try some al-anon literature. They have a little pamphlet called 'the merry go round' that is good for starters. Also the first few chapters of Alcoholics Anonymous text will give you good insight into the disease.

Best of luck for you and your loved one.

lulu70

I have to say I agree with the general consensus that forcing treatment will not work. The courts have tried it--most people end up in jail anyway.

Why not check out the 'Friends and Family,' 'Al-anon,' and 'Nar-anon,' forums. There are a lot of people there who can understand what you are going through. You need to take care of YOU. Let the addict in your life take care of themselves. It might be the only way they have a chance.

Hang in there--

phoenixn

I agree with the consensus expressed by the others who have replied that forcing a person into a treatment center is probably not a good idea.

However, some people have found that a family intervention in terms of sitting down with the alcoholic in a non-judgemental way can be very helpful. You might want to take a look at the book: "Love First - A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction". Their web site is: http://www.lovefirst.net.

This could be the "something" that happens in this persons life that causes them to want help.

I wish you and yours the very best!

BubbaBob

clm, I'm a recovering drunk and an addiction counselor, and speaking from BOTH sides, forced treatment is a waste of time, money, and it takes away a spot for someone that actually WANTS to clean up their act.

It sounds harsh, cold, and uncaring, but the best thing you can do is get out of the way and let the addict/alcoholic slide down as far as it takes for them to decide FOR THEMSELF that they want to quit, and then be there to offer whatever assistance you can in helping them find a way out of the hell. That's hard, but it's just the way it is.

BubbaBob

jpeace2

Ditto what BubbaBob said. I too am a recovering alkie and therapist in a rehab setting where many of our patients are court mandated, although mine are through probation and state parole. You honestly can't force recovery on someone until they themselves have hit bottom...THEIR bottom, not yours. I'm also involved in Naranon, my ex-BF is a cocaine addict, so I feel your pain from the family's point of view. Trust me, the best thing you and your family can do for everyone involved right now, including the addict you love, is to get involved with either Al-anon (if the person is an alcoholic) or Naranon (if he/she is a drug addict) and start to learn about how addiction affects the family and what you can do for YOURSELF.

Just like the addicts themselves, we as the "supporting cast members" all hit our bottom at different times and places, and you can't judge one person's readiness to stop by your own. I hope that helps....take what you need and leave the rest.

Love, Genie