I'm gonna need some help please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 206
I'm gonna need some help please
Today is only day 6 for me and then THIS???
Ok, well I am just about to leave my office and then I have Thursday and Friday off......and ya know the first thought I had? "Hmmmmm, wouldn't an ice cold beer be nice? Or maybe I should get a good bottle of Chianti". Well, I quickly "snapped" out of it but YIKES!!!
So, I won't be back here until later tonight but PLEASE......any words of advice, encouragement.......WHATEVER.
I am sure I will be ok, but why the heck does my mind do that? It was literally as if I wasn't even trying to whip this alcoholism thing there for a brief moment.....I actually "forgot" what I was doing!!! Hmmmmmmm am I making sense? Oh, my mind........I gotta wonder sometimes!!
Ok, well I am just about to leave my office and then I have Thursday and Friday off......and ya know the first thought I had? "Hmmmmm, wouldn't an ice cold beer be nice? Or maybe I should get a good bottle of Chianti". Well, I quickly "snapped" out of it but YIKES!!!
So, I won't be back here until later tonight but PLEASE......any words of advice, encouragement.......WHATEVER.
I am sure I will be ok, but why the heck does my mind do that? It was literally as if I wasn't even trying to whip this alcoholism thing there for a brief moment.....I actually "forgot" what I was doing!!! Hmmmmmmm am I making sense? Oh, my mind........I gotta wonder sometimes!!
fire dancer
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: no matter where u go there u are...co
Posts: 489
hey skinner, saw ya in the follies
yes, you are making sense....too much sense really!.....our brains do that because we are struggling with addiction. addiction seems to have a mind of it's own that short-circuits our own thinking at times
i struggle all the time to pass the 3 liquor stores on my way home!
just keep on trying!.......remember why you started trying in the first place.....good luck!
yes, you are making sense....too much sense really!.....our brains do that because we are struggling with addiction. addiction seems to have a mind of it's own that short-circuits our own thinking at times
i struggle all the time to pass the 3 liquor stores on my way home!
just keep on trying!.......remember why you started trying in the first place.....good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
Thinking about using alcohol is natural for an alcoholic. If I thought about drinking all the time everyday for many years, why would I stop thinking about it after 6 days of not drinking? During my first few months of sobriety, I thought about drinking every day--but I didn't do it. I have been sober for 21 years now and I still think about drinking occassionally, but I know I don't have to act on that thought. I can think about what would happen if I drink. I have choices today--choices that I did not have in active addiction/alcoholism.
In Paradise!
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Pair-O-Dice, CA
Posts: 432
I would personally find a meeting, talk to or find a sponsor. Stay involved in YOUR recovery process. The answers are different for everyone, but these thought this new in recovery or very much normal. This is also another reason why meetings help fill the void of the drinking time now left open.
Remember if you dont take the first drink, you cant get drunk.
I wish you well.
gb
Remember if you dont take the first drink, you cant get drunk.
I wish you well.
gb
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 206
Hey thanks guys........I am actually just fine........I did what I do in MOST aspects of my life and I overreacted and I came to conclusions........I jumped the gun.
Anyway, it's all good......I'm home, my daughters are snug as bugs in their beds and I don't have an interest in a drink at all. I think it was just that feeling I get on my "weekends" since I have a long one coming up. That initial urge to "treat" myself. Well, today I will treat myself with some ice cold water (which I actually DO love) and I'm actually gonna watch a little TV I think........haven't done that in a LONG while.
Anyway, thanks again because what you all said actually helped me out quite a bit as well. I am sure I will need to reference it again in the future.
Anyway, it's all good......I'm home, my daughters are snug as bugs in their beds and I don't have an interest in a drink at all. I think it was just that feeling I get on my "weekends" since I have a long one coming up. That initial urge to "treat" myself. Well, today I will treat myself with some ice cold water (which I actually DO love) and I'm actually gonna watch a little TV I think........haven't done that in a LONG while.
Anyway, thanks again because what you all said actually helped me out quite a bit as well. I am sure I will need to reference it again in the future.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
My friend my sponsor back home has almost 35 years of sobriety and the thought still crosses his mind so the reason you think that is your an alcoholic. In time It will even out where it isn't as often but that is what we used to do is drink, so now we are doing something that is not normal for us to do. Just take it easy, read alittle, but try and keep your mind busy.
Love Vic
Love Vic
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ga
Posts: 35
Skinner I am a big weekender I love and look forward to them. Well dont we all...
Anyway I would always go out to the club dance and have a hell of a time. I am now in the same boat as having to replace that with something that I enjoy just as much.
My husband said something to me the other day that really stuck with me.
He told me that if you can't have fun going out or doing whatever it is that you do "sober" then you are prob not in the right place.
and it makes so much sence all of this time I thought I was having a good time but it was the alcohol in my system that made me fake a good time.
I have a few things in mind that maybe you could try rather than going to have that beer.
First give yourself a hug =) six days way to go !!!!!!Then go to the nearest Starbucks and grab the biggest one of thos nice iced flavored coffee's. Grab a friend, go see a movie, or bowling (loves blowing lets out fustration) put on some really great music and take a walk there are so many altarnatives to that drink. As I will learn myself I am on day 4. I have my weekends pretty well booked though the month so hopfully it will keep me busy.. Ahh sure it will.. and you will keep busy too. I know you will :
:
Have a great weekend !
-Kerrie
Anyway I would always go out to the club dance and have a hell of a time. I am now in the same boat as having to replace that with something that I enjoy just as much.
My husband said something to me the other day that really stuck with me.
He told me that if you can't have fun going out or doing whatever it is that you do "sober" then you are prob not in the right place.
and it makes so much sence all of this time I thought I was having a good time but it was the alcohol in my system that made me fake a good time.
I have a few things in mind that maybe you could try rather than going to have that beer.
First give yourself a hug =) six days way to go !!!!!!Then go to the nearest Starbucks and grab the biggest one of thos nice iced flavored coffee's. Grab a friend, go see a movie, or bowling (loves blowing lets out fustration) put on some really great music and take a walk there are so many altarnatives to that drink. As I will learn myself I am on day 4. I have my weekends pretty well booked though the month so hopfully it will keep me busy.. Ahh sure it will.. and you will keep busy too. I know you will :
: Have a great weekend !
-Kerrie
Only by the Grace of God....
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Gratitude and Thanks
Posts: 83
Skinner,
Its called the "temporary insanity that preceeds the first drink" . It'll be different this time, I can stop at just one, etc. etc. etc. ....
Like the others above, it does take time for the obsession/urge to leave but it can leave. Remember we can recover from this disease.
Hang in there. Learn the tools. congrats on your 6 days!
Its called the "temporary insanity that preceeds the first drink" . It'll be different this time, I can stop at just one, etc. etc. etc. ....
Like the others above, it does take time for the obsession/urge to leave but it can leave. Remember we can recover from this disease.
Hang in there. Learn the tools. congrats on your 6 days!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Skinner,
On the weeks and weekends when you don't have your daughters, you may want to counter urges/cravings with thoughts of them? I have 2 young children as well, and I've pictured their little faces in my mind at times....when I've needed to convince myself not to do something stupid. I'm guessing right now that the odd weeks, when you don't have the kids, will be the roughest. I'd start develping thought stragedies to
counter the urges....
This website and AA seem to be working very well for you. I'm very, very proud of you for sticking this out. You will succeed and you will overcome, if you keep your heart in it!!!
BTW, I pasted something in another thread, but I might as well paste it again here... It's from the "Friday Affirmations" thread in the "Alchoholism" forum. The author is Don S. Check out that thread some time on a Friday.....it's great for folks like me(who are used to getting hammered on the weekends).
chip
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are some specific methods to try:
--Just accepting the urge can help. It's okay to have urges - everybody does.
It's what you do with the urge that counts.
--Ignore the urge. Keep it at a distance, like a thought going in one ear and out the other.
--Detach yourself from the urge. Think of the urge as "it" and study it. What does it feel like?
--Rate the urge. How strong is it on a one to ten scale? Are you exaggerating? Compare the discomfort or resisting the urge to other
possible discomforts, like being boiled alive in oil or having your fingernails pulled out one at a time.
--Distract yourself. Do something. Go out. Call someone. Get absorbed in a task. Exercise. -----Remind yourself of the benefits of resisting and the long term costs of giving in.
--Remember a "moment of clarity" when you realized your habit is a problem. Try relaxing yourself by imagining a peaceful scene.
--Visualize yourself in the near future feeling good about having resisted the urge. Paint a mental picture of how badly you will feel if you give in, like a scene with you hugging the toilet bowl with the title, "Drinking is Fun".
--Remind yourself that the urge will pass. Think about other urges you have that you routinely resist. How do you do that? Develop coping statements, thoughts that counter urge causing ideas. For example, if you are thinking, "I deserve a drink," try telling yourself, "Even though it seems unfair that I have this problem, drinking is not a wise choice for me.
After you begin to develop some mastery of your urges, you may want to confront them rather than just waiting until they happen. There are many ways to do this.
For example, try visualizing a situation in the past where you had a strong urge, as if you are running a videotape in your head. At first, allow yourself to feel the urge and react as you did. Then run the tape again and without changing anything, force yourself to see yourself resisting the urge. Practice this repeatedly until you get a feel for how you can do it. This is like "instant replay". Mentally "rehearse" a situation that might happen in the future doing the same "switching" of your feelings and reactions.
Try to make yourself have an urge, as for example in thinking about your "drug of choice". This will probably be less intense and more "controlled", so it will give you a chance to practice, like practicing all week before the big game on the weekend.
Put yourself in situations where there might be temptations that create urges, like going to a bar or party. This may not be wise until you have developed some confidence in your urge resisting skills!
Practice, Practice, Practice
Copyright © 1995, Robert F. Sarmiento, Ph.D., All Rights Reserved
http://www.cyberpsych.com/
On the weeks and weekends when you don't have your daughters, you may want to counter urges/cravings with thoughts of them? I have 2 young children as well, and I've pictured their little faces in my mind at times....when I've needed to convince myself not to do something stupid. I'm guessing right now that the odd weeks, when you don't have the kids, will be the roughest. I'd start develping thought stragedies to
counter the urges....
This website and AA seem to be working very well for you. I'm very, very proud of you for sticking this out. You will succeed and you will overcome, if you keep your heart in it!!!
BTW, I pasted something in another thread, but I might as well paste it again here... It's from the "Friday Affirmations" thread in the "Alchoholism" forum. The author is Don S. Check out that thread some time on a Friday.....it's great for folks like me(who are used to getting hammered on the weekends).
chip
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are some specific methods to try:
--Just accepting the urge can help. It's okay to have urges - everybody does.
It's what you do with the urge that counts.
--Ignore the urge. Keep it at a distance, like a thought going in one ear and out the other.
--Detach yourself from the urge. Think of the urge as "it" and study it. What does it feel like?
--Rate the urge. How strong is it on a one to ten scale? Are you exaggerating? Compare the discomfort or resisting the urge to other
possible discomforts, like being boiled alive in oil or having your fingernails pulled out one at a time.
--Distract yourself. Do something. Go out. Call someone. Get absorbed in a task. Exercise. -----Remind yourself of the benefits of resisting and the long term costs of giving in.
--Remember a "moment of clarity" when you realized your habit is a problem. Try relaxing yourself by imagining a peaceful scene.
--Visualize yourself in the near future feeling good about having resisted the urge. Paint a mental picture of how badly you will feel if you give in, like a scene with you hugging the toilet bowl with the title, "Drinking is Fun".
--Remind yourself that the urge will pass. Think about other urges you have that you routinely resist. How do you do that? Develop coping statements, thoughts that counter urge causing ideas. For example, if you are thinking, "I deserve a drink," try telling yourself, "Even though it seems unfair that I have this problem, drinking is not a wise choice for me.
After you begin to develop some mastery of your urges, you may want to confront them rather than just waiting until they happen. There are many ways to do this.
For example, try visualizing a situation in the past where you had a strong urge, as if you are running a videotape in your head. At first, allow yourself to feel the urge and react as you did. Then run the tape again and without changing anything, force yourself to see yourself resisting the urge. Practice this repeatedly until you get a feel for how you can do it. This is like "instant replay". Mentally "rehearse" a situation that might happen in the future doing the same "switching" of your feelings and reactions.
Try to make yourself have an urge, as for example in thinking about your "drug of choice". This will probably be less intense and more "controlled", so it will give you a chance to practice, like practicing all week before the big game on the weekend.
Put yourself in situations where there might be temptations that create urges, like going to a bar or party. This may not be wise until you have developed some confidence in your urge resisting skills!
Practice, Practice, Practice
Copyright © 1995, Robert F. Sarmiento, Ph.D., All Rights Reserved
http://www.cyberpsych.com/
I choose to live
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Antwerp (Belgium)
Posts: 390
The best thing you can do is stay away from the bottle....
If you don't want to feel like S**t in the morning
If you don't want to do stupid things
If you want to remember what you have said and done
If you don't want to lose your job,your wife your dog or your house
If you want to look good and feel fresh to face things sober....
Love from Stefanie
If you don't want to feel like S**t in the morning
If you don't want to do stupid things
If you want to remember what you have said and done
If you don't want to lose your job,your wife your dog or your house
If you want to look good and feel fresh to face things sober....
Love from Stefanie
"The BAND" workshop ROCKS!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 1,502
Have a plan to do something with a non-using friend and stick to it. Around here, we have a 5:45 meeting on Friday that kicks off the weekend right. But have a plan. Idle minds wander into liquor stores...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 206
I can honestly say that each and every one of you have given me wonderful things to think about here. Not one "bad" piece of advice!!!
This may sound bad, but thank GOD that there ARE so many of us......if it weren't for your experiences, I wouldn't have anything to learn from.......for that I AM grateful.
And, stormy.....sometimes we are ALLOWED to "get wrapped up in my stupid self"........that's not always a bad thing!!! Glad ya didn't burn the house down and don't feel so bad, the moment that triggered me to get sober is pretty bad too. Maybe some day I will tell that story. Yeah, I'm sure I will, just not today.
So, Rodie58, Aries, Gr8ful1, Stormyautumn, Missbliss, 2dayzmuse, Luckyv2, Greenbug, Ash, Rez, Wolflet.......and ALL of you SR folks.......thanks again. What a great thing to know I have "friends".
This may sound bad, but thank GOD that there ARE so many of us......if it weren't for your experiences, I wouldn't have anything to learn from.......for that I AM grateful.
And, stormy.....sometimes we are ALLOWED to "get wrapped up in my stupid self"........that's not always a bad thing!!! Glad ya didn't burn the house down and don't feel so bad, the moment that triggered me to get sober is pretty bad too. Maybe some day I will tell that story. Yeah, I'm sure I will, just not today.
So, Rodie58, Aries, Gr8ful1, Stormyautumn, Missbliss, 2dayzmuse, Luckyv2, Greenbug, Ash, Rez, Wolflet.......and ALL of you SR folks.......thanks again. What a great thing to know I have "friends".
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