Insanity
Acting not reacting
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Insanity
Well, just when you think you cant handle anymore...I have left my own house tonight bc my A and my oldest and best friend squared off. I was in no mood to tell either one of them to pipe down and all I had the energy to do was leave. So, I am staying at my disfunctional parents house. Thank God they are out of town. My friend calls me to tell me that he wanted me to know that he would be by my folks alter tonight and that their car which they let him drive was loaned to a friend of his and the car wont be coming back for a few days....??????????????????
I must be out of my mind. Someone tell me what to do please. I dont know whats going on but I feel like i must be losing my head. This is truly insanity.
I am going crazy and dont know who to trust as she hates him and would say anything to get me to leave him and he is an alcoholic who lies ALL the time.
I wish I could have known this was coming when I met him. A lifetime of lies and manipulation and crap.
I must be out of my mind. Someone tell me what to do please. I dont know whats going on but I feel like i must be losing my head. This is truly insanity.
I am going crazy and dont know who to trust as she hates him and would say anything to get me to leave him and he is an alcoholic who lies ALL the time.
I wish I could have known this was coming when I met him. A lifetime of lies and manipulation and crap.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
You could tell the best friend... Thank you and that you understand she is looking out for your best interest but your choices are your's to make and untill you are ready to make them... could she please stay out of things.
You may do well finding Al Anon meetings and gathering up the info and tools that let you know your not crazy and they would also help you find answers that will keep your life and space at peace.
You may do well finding Al Anon meetings and gathering up the info and tools that let you know your not crazy and they would also help you find answers that will keep your life and space at peace.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
I 2nd Best! Really! Reduce the drama, reduce the people involved. I'm sure all the good intentions by your best friend were lost in the drama scene tonight. I'm sorry.. You were smart to get out tonight.
You are not crazy, he is.
You are not crazy, he is.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Nothing makes my insanity flair up more than for me to be believing a lie.. When that happens I have to track down the lie I am believing.
Your friend is probably going insane too because she believes there is something she can do to change your situation...
Your friend is probably going insane too because she believes there is something she can do to change your situation...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
The road that leads to hell,
is paved by folks with good intentions.
Had the same situation happen to me years ago.My buddy,and hub got into it,big time.As i watched,i realized that neither one of them had any respect for me.I could see that they had alot in common,even though my friend doesnt drink.I realized that neither one,thought that i am capable,to make my own decisions here.Although i was confused,at times,what i needed from my friend was a sound board.And her councel at times.Not her getting involved,in my troubles.To be there for me,as i am with her.To let me learn,grow,etc,,etc,,and make up my own mind,on what i need to do.What have i taught these folks that i love?I must be setting of the wrong signals,here.Need to look into this.We teach folks how to treat us by our own behaviour.Both of them had alot in common.And that was,both thought they knew what is best for me,without my own input..Both like to control..Changes needed to be made.And those changes started with me.Setting boundaires,with my buddy.Her intentions although good,were hurting me.This needed to stop.And through my own changed behaviour it did.We parted ways.Not only was she mad at hub,she was mad that i didnt do things her way.This is not friendship.it was something else.Although in my own sickness at the time,i thought it was friendship.
My life changed,when i started recovery,and making changes on the inside,one day at a time.Im open with folks.They know my boundaires.We are equals,today.the controling folks just dont bother trying to control me today...It not worth,it to them.,because they get no wheres...lol.Im always open for opinions,sharring,but not demands and controling.from others.
My sponsor always says[which pisses me of at times]..i am the problem,not others.Its good though,cause then i know that i can change,those things that i can change,which is me......smile....
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless and take care!!!!!!!
is paved by folks with good intentions.
Had the same situation happen to me years ago.My buddy,and hub got into it,big time.As i watched,i realized that neither one of them had any respect for me.I could see that they had alot in common,even though my friend doesnt drink.I realized that neither one,thought that i am capable,to make my own decisions here.Although i was confused,at times,what i needed from my friend was a sound board.And her councel at times.Not her getting involved,in my troubles.To be there for me,as i am with her.To let me learn,grow,etc,,etc,,and make up my own mind,on what i need to do.What have i taught these folks that i love?I must be setting of the wrong signals,here.Need to look into this.We teach folks how to treat us by our own behaviour.Both of them had alot in common.And that was,both thought they knew what is best for me,without my own input..Both like to control..Changes needed to be made.And those changes started with me.Setting boundaires,with my buddy.Her intentions although good,were hurting me.This needed to stop.And through my own changed behaviour it did.We parted ways.Not only was she mad at hub,she was mad that i didnt do things her way.This is not friendship.it was something else.Although in my own sickness at the time,i thought it was friendship.
My life changed,when i started recovery,and making changes on the inside,one day at a time.Im open with folks.They know my boundaires.We are equals,today.the controling folks just dont bother trying to control me today...It not worth,it to them.,because they get no wheres...lol.Im always open for opinions,sharring,but not demands and controling.from others.
My sponsor always says[which pisses me of at times]..i am the problem,not others.Its good though,cause then i know that i can change,those things that i can change,which is me......smile....
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless and take care!!!!!!!
Acting not reacting
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
[QUOTE=Cap3]The road that leads to hell,
is paved by folks with good intentions.
Both of them had alot in common.And that was,both thought they knew what is best for me,without my own input..Both like to control..Changes needed to be made.And those changes started with me.Setting boundaires,with my buddy....
Not only was she mad at hub,she was mad that i didnt do things her way.This is not friendship.it was something else.Although in my own sickness at the time,i thought it was friendship.
QUOTE]
Yes indeed. So true. I have told her on several occasions that I value her opinion but to please remember she is not the Queen of my castle and to kindly mind her own business.
They are very similar and I find it mend bending that they both have so little respoect for me to do that.
They both took information I had shared with each of them and spewed it out at each other.
I am not speaking to either of them today. Boundries will be set.
Thanks everyone. I felt like I was a dog chasing its tail last night. I decided to stop running this morning!
is paved by folks with good intentions.
Both of them had alot in common.And that was,both thought they knew what is best for me,without my own input..Both like to control..Changes needed to be made.And those changes started with me.Setting boundaires,with my buddy....
Not only was she mad at hub,she was mad that i didnt do things her way.This is not friendship.it was something else.Although in my own sickness at the time,i thought it was friendship.
QUOTE]
Yes indeed. So true. I have told her on several occasions that I value her opinion but to please remember she is not the Queen of my castle and to kindly mind her own business.
They are very similar and I find it mend bending that they both have so little respoect for me to do that.
They both took information I had shared with each of them and spewed it out at each other.
I am not speaking to either of them today. Boundries will be set.
Thanks everyone. I felt like I was a dog chasing its tail last night. I decided to stop running this morning!
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