prodigal

And to be perfectly honest, he almost had me convinced! Army life is so serious, you must have a serious demeanor all the time, you get moved around a lot, blah, blah, blah. We went to a marriage counselor and my AH complained that the counselor couldn't understand him because he didn't understand "Army life." (My husband is now in the reserves after 15 years active duty.)

Anyway, we moved across the country (from Maryland to Arizona) and he's back on the bottle - drinks TONS of wine and beer, but no hard liquor - so he justifies that he's "better." (Oh, puuulllleeezzzeee!) I'm still seeing a psychologist, and it just happens that the one I'm seeing here spent 30 years in the Army and is an addiction counselor as well. Needless to say, he's heard this same b.s. from plenty of alcoholics in the service - their problems are so "special" that NOBODY but another soldier can understand them.

I think a drunk can find more excuses to drink than there are stars in the universe!!! Meanwhile, my AH goes out and buys a high-powered jet ski. Now he's zooming up and down the Colorado River half-trashed. Yeah boy, let's get out on a jet ski and PARTY (just another excuse to get drunk).

I'm planning to move back to Maryland by June '07 - a promise I made to myself when we moved out here. I know there are people here who live with active alcoholics for years - that is their freedom of choice - but this is one wife who has a good plan in place to get out of this mess!!

minnie

Good to see you P - miss having you around.

Yes, I got the same stuff from my ex - now, I am not denying that he had some rough times on active (and I mean active!) duty, however he left in 1992. Plenty of time to sek help if that what was required. Again, it's a matter of choice.

Glad to hear you have a plan as that is the one thing that can keep us going when times get tough.

Don't be a stranger, hon.

reader

It must be hard to deal with this sort of mind set. At least u can see through the denial.
Being a "Macho" male is real common where I live too. Talk about danger with the jet ski!
Around here they drink and run through the woods after deer with guns. Some one gets fatally shot ever year. My H has had to quit his hunting club to get away from all the alcohol and other alcoholics. Its a tough choice to distance your self from friends but that seems to be the best route when trying to quit. I'm sure most of your H's friends and army buddies drink too. At least u have a plan of action. Being a army wife must be hard on you to with all the moving. My aunt did it for years it was really tough. I hope things work out for you. Living with an A is an up hill battle! With Love, Kerry

pmaslan

What is it with these men that claim the military is the cause or reason the are A's. Mine was in the Navy for 18 years almost ready to retire when he was "asked" to leave...has an honorable discharge ...
They put him into a couple of 30 day programs still went back to drinking.
My dad was in the service for 20 years, WWII and Koren War....saw horror all over the world...didn't come back an A.
Just part of the A mentality putting blame on someone or something other than themself......
Glad you have a plan...stay focused.....(((Prodigal)))

TexasGirl

Patty's right, it's just something to blame. My AH was never in the service, but he finds blame in his high-stress job. And like Minnie said, it's all a matter of choice. I tell mine that if his job is causing all this destruction in his life, he should think about a new career, but of course he doesn't consider that, one reason being because it's an excuse to drink. Good for you on your plan! Stay true to you. -M