somebodysfool

I feel like throwing in the towel. My AH doesn't feel well, Sore Back. He is so irritable. I don't trust him about anything. He went to Walgreens and I freaked when I came home and he was gone. Which of course pisses him off when I call him. I just feel I won't ever get well with this man. We have had so many stressors this past week and I don't feel like I can keep playing this game. I was just trying to make it through, a weekend at our daughters college, my best friend from grade schools first wedding. And for the past year I have been living with more chaos then I've ever known. I don't know what I am looking for here. I feel like my friends are tired of listening to me. My own daughter told me to grow the balls to divorce him and sometimes that is all I want to do. I just don't know how to say it and take the anger that he is going to dish out. I wish he'd say just I don't blame you, I suck as a husband and I will suck because I just want who and what I want right now and you and that kids are not it. But he always acts like he is trying whenever he is trying to cover up. I'm sure you all know the game.

J

Savana 54

It's called manipulation so he can keep you hanging on and staying in the same position you are at right now. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

When you're ready to give up, you'll know.

Hugs,
Savana

FriendofBill

Sounds like he acting like is a sick alcoholic.

What can you do to recover, for yourself and your child?

reader

I know what u mean somebodysfool. That must have hurt to hear that from your daughter. Two weeks my 12 year old son said to me " how many chances are you gonna give him". Wow, out of the mouth of babes I quess. My daughter on the other hand begs me not to divorce her dad. I try to keep the kids out of it. Its almost impossible. We actually caught her easedropping near our door. Nosy Rosey. Keeping a marriage working even in the best of circumstances is hard. Add Alcohol and it seems impossible. I feel for u, if I had a dollar for everytime I felt like throughing in the towel, I would be a rich woman. I will say a prayer for u. Try not to let life get u down too much. You are not alone, even if your friends are sick of hearing it, we are here. Take Care, With Love, Kerry

Running

My mom was married to an alchoholic for 13 years. He was my dad. I love my dad to this day, something my mom doesn'talways understand, but either way and no matter what he's my dad. But my mom did something that I have seen work for other people too. My dad kept up with the "Please don't leave" and "I'll get better. I'll quit drinking, I won't go out to the bars." Yada Yada but of course nothing ever changed for very long. In the end she decided that she couldn't take anymore and so she told my dad that she loved him, but until he got his life straightened out she was leaving. She took me and my brother and sister and left.
My dad fought her on this. Begged her to come home. Pleaded his case over and over. IN the end he realized if he wanted my mom he had to straighten up. NOw in their case they didn't end up back together, but my dad has his drinking under controll now. It took my mom leaving and him feeling that he had lost everything to do something about it. IN the end the reason's they decided to go their seperate ways had nothing to do with his drinking. And to this day he still has his drinking under controll. That was 23 years ago when this happened.
I'm not telling you what to do, but I do know from my own experience that sometimes the only thing you can do is let them go. Let them do it on there own. After all it's really up to them wether or not they change. Hang in there or get out of there. In the end only you can decide what to do. Just be prepared for things to go either way because sometimes even losing everything isn't enough to bring some people around. It sounds like you are pretty fed up with it all. Don't let it destroy you. Running

ASpouse

Sounds like you want him to make the choice. I don't think he's going to do it, you may have to. Good luck to you!

somebodysfool

You're right, Judy. The fact is I'd like ANYONE to do this for me. I am being a huge baby. I have no confidence in myself, yet if you knew me you'd be as mad as everyone who does know me for not believing in myself. On paper I am quite impressive, loads of wasted potential. Yet, I am so scared to reach that potential and would prefer to be stuck in an unhealthy relationship that is killing me. I don't get it, my counselor doesn't get it, I hope someone here could say they get it, and I'll get it one day if I just do what I am supposed to do. Focus on God and taking care of myself so I can have the strength to leave and not worry about him getting better or worse. J