Why do I feel this way????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Westminster MD
Posts: 13
Why do I feel this way????
I just got a phone call. I have found out that my Aex-husband is in rehab. He also has court for violating his probation that next day when he gets out of rehab. So lets just say his lawyer told him to go in. ( So lets just say he is not in there for the right reasons.) I have mixed feelings about this. I am glade he is in there and maybe he will see that he has a problem. I am also a bit mad becuae why he could not do this when we were married. This is the first time he has been in rehab. I tryed to talk to him in the past about it and he just would not even talk about it. If he is in there for the right reasons why did he not love me and his family enough to go in when he told me he had a drinking problem and he wanted to stop. He knew he was loosing his family due drinking. I guess maybe why I am so upset is I feel like I gave up on him to soon. There was so much that happen in five years that I just could not give anymore. God why do I feel like this?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Welcome Longrun...........All I can say is AL-Anon
He may very well be getting "cured" but you my friend are and will get sicker....
If....you don't help yourself. Please check out an al-anon meeting in your area as soon as you can....(((longrun)))
He may very well be getting "cured" but you my friend are and will get sicker....
If....you don't help yourself. Please check out an al-anon meeting in your area as soon as you can....(((longrun)))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Hey there....
Please dont beat yourself up trying to figure all that out. There is no way an A will give up drinking for anything/anyone but themselves. You said his lawyer probably told him to go in... if that is true he will probably go back to drinking when the pressure is off him... if he did go in for himself then maybe he will work a recovery...
Either way ..... you did not cause it, you cant control it and you cant cure it. Only thing you can do is take care of yourself ... I know its easier said then done but just work on taking the focus off him and taking care of you.
Please dont beat yourself up trying to figure all that out. There is no way an A will give up drinking for anything/anyone but themselves. You said his lawyer probably told him to go in... if that is true he will probably go back to drinking when the pressure is off him... if he did go in for himself then maybe he will work a recovery...
Either way ..... you did not cause it, you cant control it and you cant cure it. Only thing you can do is take care of yourself ... I know its easier said then done but just work on taking the focus off him and taking care of you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Longrun, it's not that he didn't love you or his family enough.
It's that he didn't love himself enough.
There is no "cure", just recovery.
Now is the time to focus on you and how this has affected your life.
That's part of your recovery.
It's that he didn't love himself enough.
There is no "cure", just recovery.
Now is the time to focus on you and how this has affected your life.
That's part of your recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: la la land
Posts: 196
I just want you to know your not alone. My husband went to rehab three times because it was gonig to get him out of a jam. One time it was because he was going to go to jail and the other two is because he thought by him going I would give him another chance. And I did...and he's still drinking. They start reaching for straws. Let's hope he figure's something out in there but do not get your hopes up. I'm glad you found a meeting. I wish you all the strength in the world.
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