Curious
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: DeKalb
Posts: 2
Curious
My mother is an acoholic and has removed herself from my family all together. It hurts a lot and I just can't understand how she could do something like that. I was just curious if someone has been through that. How do rationalize something like that?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
10 years ago my (now) hubby was just a friend - a very special but very drunk friend. He knew I was getting hurt so he left town and went back home. Still drunk he knew it hurt his mother and brother and I think his dad - so he left there too.
It was nearly a decade later after his first month sober in years that he tracked me down - he said he had to know he could stop first. Anyway I got chance to tell him doing a bunk isn't hurt free either, it isn't that simple because he has always been loved. Since then he's been up and down like a yoyo - still fighting booze but he's begining to win and this time he hasn't done a bunk!
In his head it was oh so simple - he caused hurt, remove himself = remove hurt, it's not like he thought for a second he might actually be worth something!
Those were his reasons, they might not be your Mum's but I know they are his and thankfully he gave himself the chance to realise it wasn't as simple as that.
Edit- Eeeeep!! sorry simple, I should have said welcome.... Grab a comfy seat, this place rocks!
It was nearly a decade later after his first month sober in years that he tracked me down - he said he had to know he could stop first. Anyway I got chance to tell him doing a bunk isn't hurt free either, it isn't that simple because he has always been loved. Since then he's been up and down like a yoyo - still fighting booze but he's begining to win and this time he hasn't done a bunk!
In his head it was oh so simple - he caused hurt, remove himself = remove hurt, it's not like he thought for a second he might actually be worth something!
Those were his reasons, they might not be your Mum's but I know they are his and thankfully he gave himself the chance to realise it wasn't as simple as that.
Edit- Eeeeep!! sorry simple, I should have said welcome.... Grab a comfy seat, this place rocks!
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Simple - Welcome. From my experience, maybe your Mother is very aware of her problem and the effects it has on her and her loved ones and she's ashamed? Maybe this is her way of not being constantly reminded of what she is doing to herself and others?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Translations needed, please:
"Bunk"
"Niggle"
"Bunk"
"Niggle"
Doing a bunk means leaving, the kind of leaving no-one else gets a choice in, bunking off school means truant, bunking off work means taking a sicky, but doing a bunk is the biggest of the lot - person previously present, now most definately gone!
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