Unsteady?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 13
Unsteady?
Hey- I'm a newcomer and found SR looking for an AA meeting online last week. I was amazed at what I'd found being as I have been in deep denial at what had been a rather funtioning routine with my drinking. I had a major slip over a week ago which took me completely by surprise. It shook me in a way I had not experienced in a very very long time. I thought I finally had a grip and was managing my intake of alcohol and could actually pull off being a "social" drinker. I realize I was wrong. Since last week, I have had about 6 beers which is a huge improvement for me. My goal is to not drink period. I'm having a hard time though and think about it non-stop. I've read many threads and it has been a blessing to read your situations and experiences. I am truly grateful to all of you and SR! Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
yeah...
that being jerked out of denial around my dependance....
hate that... ;o)
life only works well for me when I am living in reality...
doing the footwork... and leaving the outcome up to my HP...
my addictive nature will have me chasing my tail in very short order... so... I have learned that I have to be scrupulously honest... to me.... (cause my HP alreadys knows what I'm up to )... and to look beyond just not using... to understand what is driving me to use... and then do something if possible about that...
I follow the 12 steps... so.. I got rid of a lot of my "use" motivators by doing several inventories on my character... as honestly as I could be at the time... and then doing my amends as life allowed...
and always being aware...
but.. I had to go to be with others that were trying to do the same thing as I ...
drugs.. alcohol ... food...
I thank God I never liked gambling...
anyway...
your becoming awake to the reality...
Sober Recovery is an amazing avenue to open the eyes... and keep them open... so...
face to face meetings might not hurt as well.. ;o)
blessings
that being jerked out of denial around my dependance....
hate that... ;o)
life only works well for me when I am living in reality...
doing the footwork... and leaving the outcome up to my HP...
my addictive nature will have me chasing my tail in very short order... so... I have learned that I have to be scrupulously honest... to me.... (cause my HP alreadys knows what I'm up to )... and to look beyond just not using... to understand what is driving me to use... and then do something if possible about that...
I follow the 12 steps... so.. I got rid of a lot of my "use" motivators by doing several inventories on my character... as honestly as I could be at the time... and then doing my amends as life allowed...
and always being aware...
but.. I had to go to be with others that were trying to do the same thing as I ...
drugs.. alcohol ... food...
I thank God I never liked gambling...
anyway...
your becoming awake to the reality...
Sober Recovery is an amazing avenue to open the eyes... and keep them open... so...
face to face meetings might not hurt as well.. ;o)
blessings
Starting Over
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Herrin, IL
Posts: 23
Hi
Hey. Welcome to SR. I'm pretty new too. Hang in there. Keep posting and reading because this place is packed full of info and support. Be strong and keep doing the right things. Everything will work out in the end.--Running
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Good for you!
Tearing off your blinders is a huge step.....
How did you like the on line meeting?
Did yoou read the sticky in Alcoholism..."Quitting what to expexct"? Excellent info for beginners.
Stay with us....we love new members and do ask questions if you like.
How did you like the on line meeting?
Did yoou read the sticky in Alcoholism..."Quitting what to expexct"? Excellent info for beginners.
Stay with us....we love new members and do ask questions if you like.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 13
Thank you for the support and hope I can offer the same on my crooked but hopeful road. I'm feeling a little sad right now and fearful. I believe yes, that a face to face meeting will be a good thing though I haven't been to a meeting in a couple years. Yea- Y E A R S... So I'm moving toward finding an area of town that is convenient near work or close to Home. Literally after my last post, my boyfriend blew up at me for being on this site. He had seemed supportive though somewhat distant with my recent confession/acknowledgment of my alcohol abuse and needing help with my drinking. He attacked me with various jealous accusations, belittled me for participating in this forum and told me to get the f*** out amongst other things. I moved out of our house yesterday and am now at my Mom's. In an odd way I feel a sense of relief and am not sure why. I want a drink but my hatred of what he said to me is stronger than the urge. My volition is being tested.
Thanks and good evening everyone...
Thanks and good evening everyone...
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Welcome Dreamingtree,
Wow...I'm sorry about your BF blowing up on you for coming here. This place is a wonderful support tool, obviously he feels threatened by that. I hope things smooth out for you. I have to give you credit. You had every reason in the world to drink after that incident, but you didn't. You must really want to quit. That is a wonderful thing. I hope you get back to meetings soon and you can move forward with your recovery. Sobriety is the only way to live. Good luck...
Wow...I'm sorry about your BF blowing up on you for coming here. This place is a wonderful support tool, obviously he feels threatened by that. I hope things smooth out for you. I have to give you credit. You had every reason in the world to drink after that incident, but you didn't. You must really want to quit. That is a wonderful thing. I hope you get back to meetings soon and you can move forward with your recovery. Sobriety is the only way to live. Good luck...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 13
2dayzmuse- Your beheaded pic just made me lol and I have not done that so far today! Freakishly glorious in my time of serious thought of which I needed shaking. Thanks for the support and I am going to find a meeting. I do want to quit and that is the wonderful thing I have to embrace at this moment.
One day at a time...
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Corn fields of the Midwest
Posts: 57
Hello and welcome Dreamingtree!
I'm pretty new here as well, day 6 and counting, and no, it's not easy, but then, no one ever said it would be.
You've found a wonderful place, and to your former bf, well, maybe it's for the best, only time will tell. I had something similar but not quite, as he was living here, and left, he's doesn't realize he's an alcoholic or won't admit it anyway.
Hugs and welcome!
I'm pretty new here as well, day 6 and counting, and no, it's not easy, but then, no one ever said it would be.
You've found a wonderful place, and to your former bf, well, maybe it's for the best, only time will tell. I had something similar but not quite, as he was living here, and left, he's doesn't realize he's an alcoholic or won't admit it anyway.
Hugs and welcome!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: eden prairie, mn
Posts: 51
WELCOME TO SR, sometimes our doing what we know is what we need to do, scares the h*** out of those that have yet to ask themselves that same question. its like holding a mirror up to them and they just flip-out.
hang in there, and keep posting
dean
hang in there, and keep posting
dean
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