still_me

I can't take this anymore. I hate myself and my life. Please just give me reasons not to use. Please. I want to get up tomorrow and start new. Just give me reasons not to use please.

hopealwayz

The number one reason not to use is *Your Life*. You are worth it and you are worth staying sober for. If you use, it is eat at you soul and you will feel the guilt and shame after you have used. You will wake up tomorrow and regret your decision.
Take it just 5 or 10 minutes at a time if it gets that rough. You can stop digging the hole deeper and start climbing.

If you do not use tonight, I promise you that you will not regret it tomorrow.
Go to sleep early if you can, but dont use!! It is just not worth it!

j'ade d'arcy

I agree with Angelhugs, you need to not use for you!!

If you don't use today, you will wake up and be that much stronger tomorrow. Just take it a minute at a time if you need to. Don't use for the minute that it takes to read this post, then repeat that minute of not using.

It's hard and it's not always easy, but it is so worth it. You are worth it.

hopealwayz

Also, if you do not use tonight, you will not have to worry about doing something embarrassing that you will be kicking yourself for later on. You will remember exactly what is happening.

unspun

Reasons not to use; I can think of a few, (personal experience only)

ONE TIME;
I woke up the next morning without any knowledge of the night before
I woke up with no dope or money
I woke up on a park bench
I woke up in the hospital
I didn't wake up for 3 days
I woke up unemployed
I woke up in prison
Where else could I wake up? probably nowhere cause I'd be dead

Today I woke up;
in my own bed, money in my walet, in a house, I knew what I did last night, still have a job, and all because I didn't use yesterday.

Hang in there

undrunken

Beautifully said, Unspun. "Still me", this will feel even more fantastic after a tough time, right?

splendra

(((still me)))

The best reason I can think of is that you are worth every bit of effort you are putting into being clean and sober. Life is precious, your life is precious.

Kylah

give you a reason not to use.....YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU,give your self the chance to get the life you deserve only YOU can make that decition for YOU<YOU are worth it.

Jupiter2

I've got a good reason.

You will feel so much better and you will find life is really worth living.

Jup.

still_me

Thank you for the support everyone. I'm sorry if i misled you. It was too late for yesterday. I had used early in the day and I desperately want to NOT use today. I wanted to get up this morning and have some backup on the board of reasons NOT to use. You know I was clean for years before and proud of it. I have repeatedly said I know how to do this so why can't i get clean now. Well I guess it has bolled down to this for me finally. If I knew how to do it I wouldn't be in the horrible mess I am now. I am having to swallow this misplaced pride i seem to be carrying around and admit I don't know what I'm doing and I am as much of a newcomer again as someone who has never been in the program and is starting their first day. I am terrified I have gone to far and can't get back. Thank you so much for the help and i hope i don't run people away from helping me because I am not only a physical mess but an emotional one as well.

AUDRADAVID

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unspunanddone



Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Monterey CA
Posts: 13


</TD><TD class=alt1><!-- message -->Reasons not to use; I can think of a few, (personal experience only)

ONE TIME;
I woke up the next morning without any knowledge of the night before
I woke up with no dope or money
I woke up on a park bench
I woke up in the hospital
I didn't wake up for 3 days
I woke up unemployed
I woke up in prison
Where else could I wake up? probably nowhere cause I'd be dead

Today I woke up;
in my own bed, money in my walet, in a house, I knew what I did last night, still have a job, and all because I didn't use yesterday.

Hang in there
<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->__________________
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

findingout

This one is pretty simple:

You will never wake up in the morning thinking "God, I wish I had used yesterday."

Too simple, let me put it another way:

Every clean day is a successful day no matter what else happens.

One Love, One Heart,
Tony

Dan

One that comes to mind...
If I don't use, I don't go through the anguish of finding reasons to not use.

Just for today, I accept and admit that contrary to my addict and alcoholic nature, I do not like anguish. It's way too close to despair.

still_me

thank you all for the support. So far so good here. I got on here as soon as I got up so I could read what was written. My life in the last yr has gone down so fast. Depression and very sick thinking has returned. I was wondering if I was using cause it was coming back, the depression, but I am able to admit now that it has come back BECAUSE I started using. Started with just a little here and there of drinking, then more, then graduated to other things. Now my life feels out of control again. When thougths of suicide pop into your head frequently it is time to admit this problem IS killing me. for this morning i haven't used today or drank.

Dan

time to admit this problem IS killing me.

And time to take action, friend.
You got any support, other than this website?

Luckyv2

Well I might be different LOL but I am not afraid to die I am afraid to be locked up so take your pick

Love Vic

kckman

Still me, be true to yourself. It takes work. Remember we are human beings and we make mistakes. It is up to us as individules to learn from our mistakes. Just get back up on your feet. You know the answer to your own ??. If you are honest with yourself. Just listen and you will know deep inside many reasons not to use. The addiction voice can be so loud sometimes the you cant hear your voice of reason. I know. This thread is a good read. Thanks.

still_me

here. I am so ashamed to have gotten this way again. My first thought is I want to talk to my medical dr about it now. I trust her (big issue for me) and I don't feel like I will have completely let her down like I feel with my family and friends. To be honest I think after talking to her I will have to talk to my family and friends or I will not make it thru this and will continue to use. What a mess I have made of things.
thank you again everyone. Believe it or not every few minutes I struggle with the using thoughts right now I keep saying wait til you look at the board again and then if i still want to then i can. So far this has helped

2dayzmuse

It sounds as if you have reached the end of the road to addiction. The insanity of using has taken over. You are miserable using, but all you can think about is using again. Yep, time to take action. If things don't change, it will only get worse. Here is a reason to not use. Addiction ruins lives, then it kills you. Gets some help. You are worth it.

livenletlive

Here are a few that came to mind:


- clear mind
- emotion control
- no more self pity
- energy
- desire to live
- money in pocket
- smile on your face
- ability to communicate truth
- make good friends
- have a future
- become a better person
- better diet
- mature
- live life on lifes terms
- no arrests

These are just the tip of the iceberg for you if you stay clean and work on your sobriety. Best wishes.