Addicts Mom
Drinkers Mom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: graham texas
Posts: 2
Addicts Mom
My son is twentyfour years old.And has been addicted since the age of 16. He has numerous legal problems due to his drinking. His wife and Him BOTH are drinkers.They have a two year old child.And they are splitting up AGAIN due to his drinking and her cheating when she is drunk.He has relocated several times ,and does ok for awhile ,then drifts right back into the drinking.He has no insurance and no drivers license because of his DWI charge,hes on probation for that now .Hes been jailed NUMEROUS times because of his drinking.He is now relocateing back to our home AGAIN ,as he has no where else to go.He says he will abide by our rules ,but I can't trust him to do that.He has a abusive 'mouth " when hes drunk ,and has gotten violent when hes drunk.I don't know IF I can deal with him again .I have encouraged him to seek treatment ,or at least tell his probation officer the TRUTH about his drinking .He says that probation officers do not care and they can not be trusted.His father and I have NO legal control over him as hes married.His wife refuses to admitt SHE has a problem with drinking too.She says she should be able to have 'fun" and not babysit a grown man.HELP ! I don't know IF I can handle another go-round with him and the drinking !
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Then don't.
As long as he is following your rules and you hold fast and don't bend for him, you won't need deal with his drinking.
Oh but you do. Your house, you say who lives there or doesn't. His choice to follow your rules are his rent to stay there. No rent paid... he can deal with his choices and the outcome of those choices.
You are under no legal obligation to give him a place to stay. That is your free choice to do so.
Look about. Read the sticky posts at the top of the forum.
You may want to look into finding Nar Anon meetings in your area. They are a great souce of support and info.
His actions and his issues, he needs to deal with and control.
Your peace of mind and your quiet household are and should remain your control *boundary for self*
You can't change him, he will need seek that for himself.
You can do what you need to do, for your own self though.
As long as he is following your rules and you hold fast and don't bend for him, you won't need deal with his drinking.
I have NO legal control over him
You are under no legal obligation to give him a place to stay. That is your free choice to do so.
Look about. Read the sticky posts at the top of the forum.
You may want to look into finding Nar Anon meetings in your area. They are a great souce of support and info.
His actions and his issues, he needs to deal with and control.
Your peace of mind and your quiet household are and should remain your control *boundary for self*
You can't change him, he will need seek that for himself.
You can do what you need to do, for your own self though.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: a little town in Texas
Posts: 6
Hello Shelobo,
I feel your pain. My son is 23 and has been drinking since he was 16. I finally had to tell him that I did not want to see him when he was drunk or be around him and not to come home if he was drunk. He lives away from home but would come "home" to the buddies and bars around home to get plastered. Anyway, I told him I was not going to worry about him anymore and that he needed to stay away from me when he was drunk. He went to home to his house and his girlfriend told him basically the same thing. That is when he decided that he needed help. He has been in sober for 2 months. there is always hope. I prayed for this to happen to my son and it has. It can happen to yours also. Sorry that a child is invovled and has to be in the middle of it. Stay tough and stick to your rules. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to tell my only son that I did not want to see him anymore but I did it. I did not think I was that strong. I cried like a baby when he left but I guess it worked. God will lead you through it.
I feel your pain. My son is 23 and has been drinking since he was 16. I finally had to tell him that I did not want to see him when he was drunk or be around him and not to come home if he was drunk. He lives away from home but would come "home" to the buddies and bars around home to get plastered. Anyway, I told him I was not going to worry about him anymore and that he needed to stay away from me when he was drunk. He went to home to his house and his girlfriend told him basically the same thing. That is when he decided that he needed help. He has been in sober for 2 months. there is always hope. I prayed for this to happen to my son and it has. It can happen to yours also. Sorry that a child is invovled and has to be in the middle of it. Stay tough and stick to your rules. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to tell my only son that I did not want to see him anymore but I did it. I did not think I was that strong. I cried like a baby when he left but I guess it worked. God will lead you through it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by 535465483 
Am I in this chat room???????
Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hello 535465483 and welcome to SR. 
We do have a chat room that is accessed on the blue tool bar, you are posting in a forum for Friends & Families of Alcoholics.
The thread you chose to post a reply to is over three years old, and that's no problem but you will get more replies if you post on something that is current.
Another idea would be to start your own thread, and introduce yourself to the rest of us.
If you need any help with getting used to using this site, please feel free to post a question here:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oubleshooting/ and then click on "New Thread" at the upper left corner of the forum section of the page.
It's nice to meet you.
We do have a chat room that is accessed on the blue tool bar, you are posting in a forum for Friends & Families of Alcoholics.
The thread you chose to post a reply to is over three years old, and that's no problem but you will get more replies if you post on something that is current.
Another idea would be to start your own thread, and introduce yourself to the rest of us.
If you need any help with getting used to using this site, please feel free to post a question here:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oubleshooting/ and then click on "New Thread" at the upper left corner of the forum section of the page.
It's nice to meet you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi 535465483,
I know you having a hard time getting through the registration procedure and that this is all new to you. You are doing great and people are being helpful with their ideas.
I am so glad you found us.
I know you having a hard time getting through the registration procedure and that this is all new to you. You are doing great and people are being helpful with their ideas.
I am so glad you found us.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Hi 535, I wanted to welcome you to SR.
I hope you find the support, experience, and strength I have here.
As a recovering alcoholic I am not in a position to share experience with you on the subject of your son but I have to say that the previous posters make a lot of sense to me. I wish you the best in your situation.
I hope you find the support, experience, and strength I have here.
As a recovering alcoholic I am not in a position to share experience with you on the subject of your son but I have to say that the previous posters make a lot of sense to me. I wish you the best in your situation.
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