GettingBy

If irrational and irresponsible behavior on the part of the alcoholic has betrayed us into assuming an attitude of contempt for him, some serious examination of ourselves is in order.

They are not "bad boys," who must be directed, disciplined or punished by us. They are sick, confused, and guilt-ridden human beings with badly battered egos.

God has given no one the right to humiliate another. In every one of His children there are qualities that should command our respect, and to withhold it is a wrong that will return to wound us.

Today's Reminder
It is vital to my serenity to separate, in my mind, the sickness of alcoholism from the person who suffers from it. I will dignify him with the respect whichis everyone's due. This, in turn, will give him back the self-estemm that is an important element in wanting sobriety.

"The surest plan to make a Man is: Think him so." (James R. Lowell)

elizabeth1979

This is very good stuff Gettingby and so so true. Keep this kind of stuff coming

I struggle with separating the actions from the person alot. I used to hear alot when I was a kid, love the sinner hate the sin. While I am not about to call this SIN, I am saying, love the alcoholic hate the addiction.

GettingBy

I have certainly done my share of irrational and irresponsible behavior, and I'm grateful that no one has condemned me for it. I pray each day to have the same compassion for others. To be able to accept them and love them just as they are, faults and all.

A judgemental attitude does come easy, so it's up to me to focus on something better. It's no easy task, but with God's help, anything is possible.

-Shannon

equus

Our humanity is shared and in that we are all equal - my belief. But it's also my belief that humanity is reflected and reinforced by language - including negative labels which are used to summarise character and personality. I believe history has often proven that to be the case - it's hard to imagine racism with the obligatory label and character description - or the racist's firmly held conviction that those labelled are as described.

I agree....

equus

I should just add to the above - once upon a time I called the Pakistanis that lived around us 'p@kis' but I was the same person inside - I just didn't understand what language can mean. I used to call a whole group of people 'snobs' and yeppers to me they all shared one personality, now I might say something is snobbish but I don't use one label anymore. I haven't changed inside I just realised what I was doing - I also got to know some 'snobs' and found them to be very human.

So although now I still don't like to see dehumanisation or labels used to sum up groups of people's character - I don't think that means this or that about anyone else, at least nothing I haven't done myself (I think in all innocence). But I agree so much with that quote and I've learned it's not something that's easy to get. Hell, maybe I still think all 'racists' share one character - I have some way to go myself!

GettingBy

Absolutely agreed. We as humans tend to say what we think, and the more we say it, the more we believe it. So the more I call someone an alkie, or a drunk, or any other derogatory term, the more I believe it... and the less likely I am to have any compassion. I really dislike name calling, no matter how innocent it may seem on the surface, someone is most likely being hurt by it.

That being said, I have done my fair share of it, so I'd be the last one to cast a stone. All I can do is acknowledge my faults and failures, and learn from them, or else I run the risk of history repeating itself, over and over again.

Just me... a work in progress!
Shannon