nanad

Three weeks ago I asked my husband for a seperation. After weeks of anxiety and sleepless nights, weekly counseling, and my first alon meeting. I did it.

I have asked my husband on three occ. to join me in counseling. He denied stating I handle things my way you handle it your way and he hopes counseling helps me with my problem.

OK a little denial in our home.==He said he is happy and will not leave our two girls. We have a very large house payment and I work part time and he needs my wages to help with this payment. (I went full time this week). We have a RV. I asked if he could stay in the Rv at his parents properity just two miles from our home. They also have a one room cabin with shower bath room ect. I stated I just need a break from this maddness. He was even sober during this decusion. He advised me he would not go. He will not leave his family. I am not willing to sell my house(yet). I do not want to up root my girls to stay with family. I wish he would just be a man and let me have some space. He thinks giving me space and volenterring to sleep on the couch a few days.

I just needed to vent and need prayers. As I sit hearing him snore. Poor guy he really bleaves I have lost it. He is so lonley and depressed. If he only new the nights I have cried myself to sleep. I'm sure I will again tonight.

Thanks
nand

best

It is good you found meetings. They will help you find understanding and give you support.

Keep doing what you need to do, for your peace of mind.

His issues, like he said... he will deal with, his way.
Will keep doing what he does till he learns a better way. Only he can find that way.

cwohio

nanad - i feel your pain. good for you in trying to help yourself and children because that's all you can control. i don't have words of wisdom for you. i was contemplating separation from my AH and knew it would be me that would have to leave. I discussed it a couple times and got the lies about him trying to do better. my AH passed away 2 weeks ago - they think he passed out in the hot tub and drowned - he had been on a week long binge. i pray that you will find peace.

lonely&confused

I wish you the best of luck-- it is really hard to tell someone you love to leave---especially if they won't go!
(I know, I'm in the same situation).

Cap3

Sending my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless,

nanad

Ok

I posted a reply and i do not know where it went!! Thank-you everyone. I'm on my way to work.

Today is the day the lord has made I WILL rejoice and be glad!!!!

hugs to everyone!!!

nanad

Zoey

Just a tidbit.. My hubby was grumbling about something. Mostly I enjoyed his grumbling, but guess I wanted to go to sleep, so said, "If you are not happy, please go ahead and leave". He said, "No I am not going to bother", "Why are you not going to bother?? "Cause you would just want me back"" Grrr, but few days latter I laughed my head off. Cause he was right.
Sorry nonad, I can feel for you, but have nothing to share. Life is just difficult.
Hope you find a solution. Keep coming back. Lv Ya

reikihelps

A prayer coming your way Nand
((peace))

nanad

Sometimes there is no answer. It is hard no matter what you do. Hard living with it and hard to leave. No matter what, when you have children you share their disease forever.

He never talks to me about our problem (my problem with his drinking he would say). Just goes on abount our daily lifes as if I never poured my heart out to him. It must be painful for him? I ask he doesn't reply.

I know there will be the day I will move on. It is just a matter of time.

hugs

nand

FaithChaser

Nanad,
I hate that questioning what they feel. If they feel, we know they do but they numb it so much that it is impossible? I don't know, but I do understand and know that feeling of it's a matter of time... My prayers are with you tonight.

Hugs,
FaithChaser

nutty&mutty

An alcoholic, by definition, has left their family-- even if they live in the same house with them. Substance abuse is a way to disengage from those around you….I think your husband has already abandoned his children (and his wife). No one knows if he’ll ever make a permanent, sustained commitment to sobriety. Think first about yourself and your children. You & the kids have long lives and limitless potential—those are the sure things. Prayers. L.

nanad

I beleave that its almost a love affair. I will get better with or without my husband. We have a long road ahead. He hasn't even started thinking this drinking is any kind of issue. I am so happy that I have realized this problem in our marriage. I would just pray for him to get better. Never realizing I had to start with me.

He can get on the train or be left behind. I'm feeling stronger today can you tell?! I love mornings. With every morning the sun comes up and its a new day and new beginning.

When the sun goes down I get anxious and do not know where I will sleep that night. Hoping he passes out on the couch instead of the bed. Well what I'm I going on abount that for. It is morning in california and I will rejoice the day that the lord has given me.

hugs
nand