Abigail36

Hi patsy I dont know whether you got my other message but as im new here i dont really know how to reply to people that write to me.I have written all this before and getting a bit tired now off typing, but when you replied to me when i posted on here.I was shaking every where in my body and not because off drink.I havent had a drink since saturday I know thats not long but im trying soooo soooo hard at the moment.when I returned and read the messages that people had written to me I was so overwhelmed.I written back to them thanking them so much,Ive been reading Alanon for 3to4 mounths now and it as helped me a GREAT deal.But as soon as I read your post to me all the glory went out the window.I know what your saying patsy and know your only trying to help and I understand what your saying but I dont think you understand me one bit,im sorry if you think I sound harsh but ive spoken to pauline about why I dont go to AA if I could go BELEIVE me I WOULD.Ive been on forums and chat simalar to these but when I found this I felt a great sence off hope,but sorry to say this patsy everytime you rite to me you make me feel that ive done something terribly wrong,just like all the other forums ive been on they also told me about AA and told me to get to a meeting or they cant help me.Ive explained all this far to many times and sick and tired off repeating to everybody,Beleive me if I could go I would but at the moment I cant get there for loads off reasons ive told all this to pauline and she was lovely and understood and just told me to keep coming but I feel put off again now.I know what your saying but also wanted to talk to people at Alanon also cause my sister also does both but you are write she did AA first but her circumstance are very different to mine.I am trying to use both im also writing on the AA side as well the more i get at the moment the better i think,Anyway I hope I havent hurt you in anyway cause i totally hate hurting people but its just the way I feel at the moment I feel ive been Rejected once again.Ireally thought this site was the rite directoin and really felt a lot off hope when i spoke to pauline but my hopes have gone once again all because i cant get to a AA meeting but you would think id be more than welcome under my circumstance, cause I CANT GET TO AA.But what is wrong with making freinds in the Alanon department also in a way im confused to which one i need but at least im trying both to try and get some answers even though im not in meetings i thought this site would help.I do hope i havent hurt you in anyway but all I want to say now is that im trying my DAMMED hardest at the moment and thats all I can do Abi

JT

Abi,

Patsy was sharing her experience. Many of us have had excuses to not attend meetings and we have heard them all. You can choose for yourself what to do and this site is a good start.

No one around here will tell you what to do but they will call you on excuses. My recovery is meeting based and that is what my experience is. So, like Patsy. that is what I will share.

You can get some literature from your sisters and do your homework. It sounds as tho your initial problem however is addiction. I believe alot of addicts are codependent but the addiction should come first. It is hard to work on anything while using so that should be your first concern. Getting sober.

As Pernell would say"Tell us what you are willing to do"

Hugs,
JT

Patsyd1

(((((((((Abigail))))))))))))

Abby,
We are not bad people trying to get good... we are sick people trying to get well.

When I became sick and tired of being sick tired.... I did what I needed to do to stay sober.

I would never tell you what to do, or how to do it Abigail. Thats not my job. But if I can help you in any way to stay sober... this I can do.

I have been where you are at, and I have done what you are doing..... and when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and doing the same things over and over and over again, expecting different results, then I began to take the suggestions from those who have been there and done this. It worked, because this program works. When I insisted that these other alkies didn't know me, they didn't know what I was going through, they just didn't understand me. Well Abigail.... what I learned is that these people are ME, its one alcoholic helping another. They have a solution that works. But I had to take the suggestions, and I had to be where the suggestions and the solution is.... at AA meetings.

Your choice Abigail.... I can not get you sober, I can not get you drunk, I can only pass on to you my own experience, strength and hope and what was passed to me at AA meetings.

MY WAY never worked Abigail.... and I tried for alot of years to do it MY WAY. When I stopped trying to do it MY WAY, and I took the suggestions here in the halls, from those who knew how to stay sober one day at a time.... it began to work for this drunk too.

God Bless you and I love you Abigail.... and yeah it may seem that I am harsh, but nothing was harsher for this drunk then to continue to get drunk, sick and out of control. I am so grateful for all the alkies that reached out to help me to stay sober.... with the truth. That this disease is progressive and fatal, and that there is a solution.... if I but would listen, and take the suggestions and put them into "action." I had to want it. There are many alcoholics who need this program... this program isn't for those who need it, its for those who want it.

Love you
Patsy