EndOfRoadWife

Do you tell their family? I know this is probably a stupid question..He sent suicidal text messages and now today and he is telling me to tell the girls he is ok and this will all be over soon..(I don't know if he is meaning divorce papers or if he is talking suicidal again)..

harleygirl92156

My brother did the same thing to me a few years ago. I called the police and reported that he had made threats to himself and they went and found him, picked him put and took him in for evaluation.
Best thing the ever happened to him. He thanked me later. He got the help he needed and since then has lived a good clean life and is happy.
I knew I couldn't do anything to stop him, so I contacted someone who could. His family probably can't because they are as close to the situation as you, so the police is the best option. They will find him and then determine if he is really going to hurt himself or if he is just playing mind games.
I suspect the latter in an attempt to manipulate you into doing what he wants, but just in case, call the authorities and let them sort it out.

EndOfRoadWife

he is at work right now and he just told me that "he has plans"..I think he took pills the other night cause I got all these suicidal messages and then in the morning he sent one that said "It didn't work. I woke up"..He will be embarrased if I call the police..I am now debating to do what you said..I caved in and I left a message on his mom's machine and said that her son is leaving suicidal messages and should anything ever happen to him, I don't want to carry the guilt.

EndOfRoadWife

harley- I just found out the family isn't even there. I guess they are in wisconsin visting the brother..I am talking more on the computer now and he says he has plans of leaving his job..(but he sent about 5 suicidal messages the other day so I assumed this one was suicidal as well..)

elizabeth1979

I would call the police, and dont worry about being embarassed. Just give them a heads up.
Prayers for you !

Girlfriend

Hi EndOfRoadWife,


My xabf did the same to me and to his sister's husband one night. He was drunk and we didn't take any chances. We both called 911 and had the police go over there and check him out.

He actually did cut his wrists and was in the bath tub waiting to "bleed to death".

The police and ambulance took him to the nearest hospital with a psychiatric ward in it and he was very intoxicated, but alive, thank God. They kept him in there for observation for 5 days.

Usually, the ones that talk about it are seeking attention and the ones that don't talk about it, are serious. But, that's not the rule of thumb. There was a young man on a very large forum I was on and he talked of suicide and kinda posted a "last post", saying he was sorry for being rude sometimes on the forum and sorry for how he treated his family. The rest of the young people on there kinda blew it off, but a couple of them were concerned. All anybody knew was this young man's first name and the college he went to and the city, state it was in.

All night long, kids posted every 10 minutes to see if anyone could call 911 in his area and have the police go look for him. Finally, the next morning, one of the kids had finally gotten a hold of the police in the young man's town and sure enough, they found him.........dead. He had committed suicide.

We just can never take the statements lightly. Even if they are for attention, the person needs it.

I would call 911 if I were you, tell them what he's been saying and texting you and let them decide whether or not to take him in for observation. Who cares is he's embarassed? If he's playing a game,.....it's not funny and he needs to know that.

Good luck and call 911 as soon as you can.

((hugs))

Cynay

What I find amazing is how we still protect them. We dont want to say anything, call 911 because it could embarasse them, they know this and they know we will sit and worry and do nothing about it... that is how they keep being able to treat us unacceptable.

I agree with the rest, call 911 just in case its real, if it is not real then he will know not to play games with you anymore. Either way you cant go wrong.

Zoey

I agree with above, if you can't get up the courage to call 911, then call the police dept and tell them you need to know what to do??? Hope you kept the messages.
I am not sure but think the police will perhaps come and read the messages.

This could be for real. We never know.

I would cheer and clap and jump up and down if it was just a threat to get to you. and he was embarrased. I would feel extremely terrible if he did it, as I love the alcoholics , and men.

Fire_Wind_Rain

Better embarrassed than dead if he's truly serious.

My husband early in our marriage claimed he took an overdose of pills. I called the police and had him taken in. Ok, he had to be hogtied because he got violent, but that's his problem. Anyhow, he ended up under suicide watch and having his stomach pumped. Turned out he never took them to begin with, but it was the precurser to him turning his situation around (at least at the moment).

Good luck.

walkingtheline

What they said.

Make the call. If you don't want to dial 911 use the police biz number. Tell them your concerns and what he's saying.

EndOfRoadWife

Thank you everyone..I pursued questioning him on what his plan was (he was saying he wished he could fly away today) cause he e-mailed that he had a plan..Now he says that he is planning on opening his own business in our hometown..but all his text messages that I received last night (which was a day late) were all completely suicidal.. I was getting ready to call 911 and made up my mind that that is what I was going to do (no matter if he was embarrased or not)...Now, since he is changing his tune, I am giong to wait..If he talks any moer suicide, that is what I am going to do...I am going to need to take my phone though to get fiixed because I don't want to get a message a day late.

Girlfriend- That is an awful story about that young man! I get afraid of stories like that..Thanks everyone!

Fire_Wind_Rain

I actually would call the police business number come to think about it, rather than 911, and talk to them about what to do when you get messages like that.

EndOfRoadWife

Fire Wind Rain- Yeah because I can't keep putting up with suicidal talk and if he keeps it up, I am taking it into my own hands..(which will be the police)...He could use a mental evaluation anyhow..Thank you

FriendofBill

embarassment?

death would be better?

Call the police immediately.

FriendofBill

suicidal relief - When a person internally decides to fully commit to killing themselves, they behave as if they have no problems, are content and relaxed.

Its the relief of knowing thier decision is made. Do not take his change in behavior as it;s all ok.

Call the police, show the text's messages, let them do thier job.

robina

I cetainly agree that no suicide threat should be taken lightly.

However, there are individuals with certain personality disorders (my daughter, for one) who use suicide threats as a kind of emotional blackmail. Consider the gut wrenching effect these threats have on you. You become totally preoccupied with the person who is making the threats, you become unable to think, feel, or act clearly...

By all means call the police, but also consider how the suicide threats are affecting you. If the alcoholic sees that their suicide threats are dragging you into their drama, that is a big payoff for them.

I would also suggest that if a person truly means to commit suidide, there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop them. I am not God. I am not able to watch over that person 24 hours a day. All I can do is hand them over to the staff on the psych ward, and work hard to detach from the situation.

Robin

Frustrated

I agree with the others. Call the police. Who cares if he's embarrassed. The burden you will carry with you forever if you don't do something will destroy you. My brother committed suicide just over a year ago - no warnings, no note, nothing.

One of my close friends threatened suicide just before my brother did. She made her "goodbye" call to me. I called the police in her hometown. We don't talk about it, but she now knows I won't take anything she says lightly. She did call me after the police left and apologized and said she was okay, just distraught over a breaking marriage.

Please consider calling the police immediately. I wouldn't wait for anymore suicide messages.

EndOfRoadWife

Thank you..You guys are all right about calling the police and I would have called that very night had I gotten all the text messages that night..Now today, so far he e-mailed me and said that he is in the process of opening up his business in our hometown and he said he finalized the deal last night and should be opening business within the next 30 to 60 days so he can be the father and dad that he knows he can be....

Zoey

Like I say, go with your gut, but Please keep those messages.
Wishing you the Best and Best for him also Lv Ya

Live

There are many myths and misunderstandings concerning suicide. I lost my son to suicide at 20 years old. Yes, he told us many times that he planned to kill himself. I had him hospitalized and he was very mad at me. But better mad than dead. As with your story, the last time, the night he killed himself, he called me to tell me that he was not okay, I carefully interviewed him and asked to come pick him up, he said he could not do that because he had plans to help a friend work on a motor the next day. The next day never came. So just because he says he has these positive plans does not negate the suicidal ideation and worse! plans. My son was signed out of the hospital the next day after I had him committed against his will by his father signing him out against dr's medical advice! He was also pressured into telling me (by his father) that he was not really going to do anything that it was bs talk. I knew better.

It doesn't matter whether it is meant as a cry for attention, manipulation, or a goodbye, ethically even professionals are required to breach confidentiality and report when someone expresses a tendency to harm themselves or others.

I had another young man come to me 6 months later saying I am thinking about doing what your son did. I was at work. I immediately dropped all work for over 4 hours, made sure that his mother was aware, that she had gotten him medical attention and went through the details of the meds he was taking with him, telling him that it would take a few weeks to work, but hang in, and I monitored him daily with visits. One weekend I went out of town. When I came back Monday, he was dead.

Another man, when I worked somewhere else, I recognized as being suicidal (never meant to know so much about it!) he said nothing to anyone and was known to be very against suicide. He said his goodbyes, I did not recognize that at the time, tho' I noted one odd comment that was simply out of character for him tho' it in no way pointed to suicide. The next day I learned he had hanged himself.

My daughter's ex, constantly threatened suicide. Yes, it was a manipulation because she was wanting to leave him, but in his desperation, since he had threatened so many times, he made an attempt to hang himself assuming she would find and save him. She almost didn't! He was unconscious, convulsing and later had no recall.

In summation, there is no question in my mind as to what is necessary with any suicide threat. Call 911.

It is not up to us to decide the motives, intent or seriousness of any threat or plan.
Let's assume that there thinking or saying that indicates that they are in trouble because it does. And do what the professionals are required to do, call it in as a life threatening emergency.

live