Courage to Change~ September 15
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Courage to Change~ September 15
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 9/15
Night after sleepless night, I tossed and turned and worried. Why couldn’t I sleep? What was the matter with me? My life was stressful, but no more so than usual. I’d tried hot milk, reading in bed, soft music, even a visit to the doctor, but still I couldn’t get more than a few hours sleep. I was in a panic!
I spoke about my concerns in an Al-Anon meeting, and another member related a similar problem. What had helped him was to accept the situation fully and admit that he was powerless to make himself sleep. In retrospect, he said, his sleeplessness had been a blessing; it had kept him too tired to get into trouble.
I realized that the same was true for me. Instead of worrying compulsively about a loved one’s sobriety, watchful and nosy despite many attempts to mind my own business, lately I’ve been too tired to be overly involved in anything that wasn’t my concern. I had often prayed to be released from my obsessive worry, and now, in an unexpected way, my prayers seem to have been answered.
Today’s Reminder
My Higher Power’s gifts sometimes take unusual forms. Perhaps something I regard as a problem is really a form of assistance.
“Nothing is either good or bad. It’s thinking that makes it so.”
William Shakespeare
Night after sleepless night, I tossed and turned and worried. Why couldn’t I sleep? What was the matter with me? My life was stressful, but no more so than usual. I’d tried hot milk, reading in bed, soft music, even a visit to the doctor, but still I couldn’t get more than a few hours sleep. I was in a panic!
I spoke about my concerns in an Al-Anon meeting, and another member related a similar problem. What had helped him was to accept the situation fully and admit that he was powerless to make himself sleep. In retrospect, he said, his sleeplessness had been a blessing; it had kept him too tired to get into trouble.
I realized that the same was true for me. Instead of worrying compulsively about a loved one’s sobriety, watchful and nosy despite many attempts to mind my own business, lately I’ve been too tired to be overly involved in anything that wasn’t my concern. I had often prayed to be released from my obsessive worry, and now, in an unexpected way, my prayers seem to have been answered.
Today’s Reminder
My Higher Power’s gifts sometimes take unusual forms. Perhaps something I regard as a problem is really a form of assistance.
“Nothing is either good or bad. It’s thinking that makes it so.”
William Shakespeare
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Chardon, Ohio
Posts: 13
Good post...I've been having a lot of sleepless nights too, and find I'm just too tired to deal with all the b.s. I get dished out. Instead of worrying about it all, I now lay there and pray, and make plans to have him leave. I too, have prayed to be released from extensive 'worrying'. With the help and understanding of so many here at sober recovery, I am now finding my worries are less...and last night, I got the first full nights sleep in ages! I find such comfort now, just in knowing I'm not alone, and that there are other people who can relate to some of the very same things I'm going through. (May the HP keep guiding us on our journey! )
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
There was a LONG period of time early on in my Al Anon recovery where I would wake up about 2 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I started going into the living room and reading my recovery books - primarily Courage to Change and also The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage. I came to enjoy my quiet time, alone with my HP.
I found I could go back to sleep after 45 min to an hour and wake up fully rested and more at peace. That time passed, eventually I was able to sleep thru the night again. Looking back on it, I guess my HP needed to talk to me, and that was the only time in my day where I was quiet enough to hear Him!
Hugs
Barb
I found I could go back to sleep after 45 min to an hour and wake up fully rested and more at peace. That time passed, eventually I was able to sleep thru the night again. Looking back on it, I guess my HP needed to talk to me, and that was the only time in my day where I was quiet enough to hear Him!
Hugs
Barb
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Henderson, NV
Posts: 14
From your lips to my soul!
I'm going to print out your words and read them over and over, about sleepless nights or waking up at night. I hate being new, I had it so bad. I'm still trying to figure out how to maneuver through this maze of posts. I'm so scared because I don't make decisions very well, but my 12-year-old is in trouble emotionally, so I have to do something. I'm 53 years old, not in the best of health, work at home, so I overdo and don't organize my time well at all. I have ADHD, BPD (look it up, it's not fun). The combination of these two makes decision making nearly impossible and self confidence a zero. I'll keep coming back until I'm not new anymore and it gets comfortable and I like my life again!
too much on my plate!!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
Originally Posted by Dakoda
I read that page this morning too. My ability to sleep / not to sleep seems to flip-flop.
Initially after my exab left I slept soundly...probably from physical exhaustion and mental overload.
Then as time went on, the nightmares began. CAN NOT seem to shake them!!! Same theme usually....always about him and so much conflict!!! That's to be expected and I can understand that.
What strikes me as odd is that for some reason, I'm always expecting him to help me out of a particular situation and in the dreams, he always does. Except for last night....drempt that while he was in a blackout he took a contract out on my life. People I didn't know were shooting at me on his behalf. I asked him to tell them to stop....he said he wanted to stop them, but because he hired these people in a blackout, he couldn't remember who they are (I'm somewhat of a creative dreamer I guess). The last shot fired just skimmed the top of my head, then I woke up.
Wish I could figure out what action I'm supposed to be taking or what lesson I'm supposed to be learning so that these nightmares would cease.
Initially after my exab left I slept soundly...probably from physical exhaustion and mental overload.
Then as time went on, the nightmares began. CAN NOT seem to shake them!!! Same theme usually....always about him and so much conflict!!! That's to be expected and I can understand that.
What strikes me as odd is that for some reason, I'm always expecting him to help me out of a particular situation and in the dreams, he always does. Except for last night....drempt that while he was in a blackout he took a contract out on my life. People I didn't know were shooting at me on his behalf. I asked him to tell them to stop....he said he wanted to stop them, but because he hired these people in a blackout, he couldn't remember who they are (I'm somewhat of a creative dreamer I guess). The last shot fired just skimmed the top of my head, then I woke up.
Wish I could figure out what action I'm supposed to be taking or what lesson I'm supposed to be learning so that these nightmares would cease.
I sometimes have nightmares; some relating to my son and my xabf. Have you talked to a counselor about them?
Maybe that may help? I keep a journal, and write down all my dreams right after I have them. Otherwise, after the REM sleep wears off and you are awake for awhile, you tend to forget them.
Reikihelps
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 221
Hi Osier59.
I really liked your post.
The twist of turning over sleeplessness is a great idea. Never thought of it but I will use it next time our A takes off and we're worried.
By the way, the Shakepearean quote you chose is from Hamlet, the consumate compulsive worrier! Good choice : )
sweet dreams,
Reikihelps
I really liked your post.
The twist of turning over sleeplessness is a great idea. Never thought of it but I will use it next time our A takes off and we're worried.
By the way, the Shakepearean quote you chose is from Hamlet, the consumate compulsive worrier! Good choice : )
sweet dreams,
Reikihelps
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