JennyK

out of the blue tonight my husband said "I know you are already worried about what I will do on Friday (his day off, the day after he gets paid when he does not have to pick up the kids from school...free day for a binge)."

I said "What gives you that idea?"

He said "The huge MOMMY GETS KIDS FROM SCHOOL on the calendar, when it is my day off"

I said "I am being realistic"

He said "Well, I know I will deposit my check tomorrow and I know I won't drive anywhere on Friday. And if you tell me to 'take it down a notch', I will"

I said "Oh"

He said "I can't promise you I won't drink"

I said "Oh"

He said "I am trying to make as easy for you as possible"

I said "Oh"

He said "I am trying..."

I said "Okay"

Then he changed the topic. I realize that nothing I can say will change his plan to binge on Friday. I realize that he will follow up on at LEAST his promise to deposit the money, since he can do that on Thursday when he has to go to work in the afternoon.

Sad really. Odd.

I suppose that since I plan for it, there is no reason he should not as well.

Jenny

nocellphone

Well, at least it's all out in the open. I guess that's progress, no? Nobody trips over the "elephant in the living room" when everybody sees it's there.

I'm impressed with your use of that magic, noncommittal word I've learned to use so well in such situations, the Al-Anon "Oh"! Well done, Jenny!

And you're right. It is sad. I feel sad anytime someone I love lets me know they're planning on hurting themselves. What a miserable, sh!tty disease...

ASpouse

The only thing is I picked up is everything he has promised/said above involves "doing it for you".

Unfortunately until he starts doing it for "him" things won't change. I hope he see's the light soon!

Beautiful

You are handling that really well! Well said. You're taking care of you and not engaging him in battle. Kudos!

ASpouse

........ but ditto to what Beautiful said ..... you are handling it great!