RedAPBT

Well... once again I am sitting here reevaluating everything with the Duck... I guess I should premise this by stating that he is a diabetic who has some pretty nasty reactions when his sugar is low and who gets pretty nasty with his temper and mouth when that happens.

I guess he started having a reaction (which I have gotten out of the habbit of telling him he is having one) and before I know it he is hitting the top of the desk - screaming explatives and telling me to go to hell ... I did good as most came across as excessively loud quacking until he started to take this mood (if that is what you want to call it out on 1 of the 3 dogs) then I got angry ... I was bathing my red nose and he started to just yell at our sheltie (who is 9) and quacking about our neighbor who was to busy with his stuff to help the duck with running a water line for the ice maker and quack quack blahhhhhhh!

I then found myself feeling the exact same way I did when he was drinking and felt the need to shut me up by trying to choke me TERRIFIED!!! I worried about what I would do if he tried to hurt my dog - though I think I would possibly loose it and hurt him over that - they are like my kids and I will protect them if necessary - which would just put me back to a place I would rather not be

I have not felt that feeling in over 2 years and it just really messed me up today... I found myself wishing he would pass out and praying he would just shut up!!! - just as I did when he was drinking - knowing that if the reaction is a bad one - he will... then I will have some peace!

I have stopped enabling the behavior as I used to as I do not feed into it or even say a word, but I feel like a terrified child when I just keep my mouth shut. Then I get angry with me for not being strong - but knowing good and well it would be unproductive and pretty stupid to even go there...

I would never show him that I am scared of him and to be brutally honest, I probably should be more scared than I am, but I will not allow him to have that power over me... kinda stupid huh???

I am just so sad and hurt and feel so lost... ... I just want it all to stop I guess - and it isn't doing so - or at least not in my time...

I guess I will go play ball with the dogs - and then come in and take care of me...

Thanks for letting me blab!
RedAPBT in beautiful CA (great weather today!!)

Ann

Red

My heart goes out to you today, and I can only send hugs and prayers. My husband (who is not an A) is also diabetic, and I know the mood swings when their sugar is out of whack. Insulin is a hormone, and it is like us when our hormones take over. Luckily my husband does not get beyond being a bit unpleasant, and even then I get out of his way for a while.

However, this does not excuse abuse, and any behavour that makes you so afraid that you think you may be physically attacked, or that verbally frightens you, is abuse. And we do not have to take abuse, regardless of the reason. No one had the right to physically or mentally threaten us, clean or using.

We can't change them, but we can set boundaries. We can let them know that when they are out of control, we will remove ourselves from their presence.

Only you can decide how much you will live with and for how long, but making a safe plan for when he is out of control is wise regardless of your choice.

My prayers are with you.

Laceejoe

Red----just wanted to let you know that I'm diabetic also, and moods do change when your sugar is out of whack---but there is NO EXCUSE for mistreating someone because of it!!! Anyone who is diabetic knows what to do when those times hit----and it is NOT!!! to lash out at someone else!!!! He needs help, that's for sure----but you can't do it for him. Please, Red, walk away when those times happen---for your own safety. And take your animals with you. You deserve more than you have right now. Please keep posting----we're here for you!!!! Take care of yourself, okay???

sugar52

dear red,
do take care of urself. as the others have said. that is verbal abuse and will frighten u. my uncle is diabetic and a sober alcoholic not in recovery. he had to stop drinking after a stroke or die. he is an angry man on a dry drunk. like ur husband he has 2 illnesses. he is accountable as we all are for his actions. he needs help. hope he can get treatment to cope and u can detach and hold him acountable for his recovery.
stay safe, and i believe it was ghandi who said" you can judge a society by the way they treat their animals" my husband is a dog kicker,when he's drunk and out of control. dog bit him once,ha ha, i did get in the middle of it, but my dog is an akita. big teeth!! i'll put on my bunny slippers and mentally kick ur duck!! call the humane society if he abuses the animals.
big hugs from sugar
i'll be praying for ur family

RedAPBT

Thank you all -

It was nice to read that others are aware of what the effects are when the sugar is out of whack

Sugar, my doggies are pitties (well 2 of the 3 are) and I know from past experience, they will indeed try to intervene - the Sheltie is pretty large and can and would defend herself if necessary - but I would prefer it never get to that....

I have already made up my mind and heart that if he ever touches me again I would pack the dogs and cats and go - I never really classified the quacking and stuff as abuse so much as the physical stuff... guess I got used to it living with an alcoholic father who was very physical and a mom who was indeed a demeaner and yeller... hmmm

You all gave me much to think about and thank you for the hugs and prayers... they really help

Hugs!

RedAPBT in windy but sunny CA