Day 10 & So SICK of MEN!
Keep On Keepin' On....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Alberta
Posts: 41
Day 10 & So SICK of MEN!
Okay...it's not actually that I'm sick of men, I'm just sick of one man!!
Everytime I moved last night, Kurt woke up and wanted to know what was wrong. I had had it around the time that our daughter passed wind, and Kurt sat bolt upright in bed screaming "WHAT was THAT??" I don't know why, but he is suddenly most edgy and frankly, I think I may have to kill him if he doesn't settle.
Now he is downstairs making breakfast and whistling....I on the other hand would like nothing more than to go downstairs and literally put a cork in it.
Unfortunately, I can't do that as he has to drive me to town today and won't be in the mood if I physically attack him. To be honest, I think a lot of this is because I'm so used to being on my own during the day. Now, he's home...and I've sort of lost my me time....if that makes sense. And yes, I know he did this for me...but still. I'm having a hard time with this arrangement today!!!!!
Any good excercises for patience out there??
Michelle.
Everytime I moved last night, Kurt woke up and wanted to know what was wrong. I had had it around the time that our daughter passed wind, and Kurt sat bolt upright in bed screaming "WHAT was THAT??" I don't know why, but he is suddenly most edgy and frankly, I think I may have to kill him if he doesn't settle.
Now he is downstairs making breakfast and whistling....I on the other hand would like nothing more than to go downstairs and literally put a cork in it.
Unfortunately, I can't do that as he has to drive me to town today and won't be in the mood if I physically attack him. To be honest, I think a lot of this is because I'm so used to being on my own during the day. Now, he's home...and I've sort of lost my me time....if that makes sense. And yes, I know he did this for me...but still. I'm having a hard time with this arrangement today!!!!!
Any good excercises for patience out there??
Michelle.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi Michelle,
One thing I learned when I became sober was how much I needed 'alone' time. It somehow nourishes me to carry on and I can understand how it might make you anxious.
It's also possible that dealing with life without drugs is a bit difficult and that's what's causing your anxiety. I know, early on, my emotions were all over the place. I had been self-medicating everything away and now I had to deal with it all.
Hang in there - you're doing great!
Love, Anna
One thing I learned when I became sober was how much I needed 'alone' time. It somehow nourishes me to carry on and I can understand how it might make you anxious.
It's also possible that dealing with life without drugs is a bit difficult and that's what's causing your anxiety. I know, early on, my emotions were all over the place. I had been self-medicating everything away and now I had to deal with it all.
Hang in there - you're doing great!
Love, Anna
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Charlotte,NC
Posts: 167
Give Kurt a break. You're probably yanking the covers off him while he's sleeping. That's why he's probably edgy. The joys of sleeping with someone. It's funny if you think about it that the littlest noise can disturb you.
Bring up this alone time to him as I feel it is important as well. It will give you time to reflect, pray, and meditate to your higher power.
Good Luck and hang in there
Bring up this alone time to him as I feel it is important as well. It will give you time to reflect, pray, and meditate to your higher power.
Good Luck and hang in there
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
when we get sober we have no coping skills.
What sort of program are you working now to get and STAY sober????
AA, SMART, WOS, Rational? Personally, AA saved my life.
Sorry, but if you expect to stay sober simply posting here..........
What sort of program are you working now to get and STAY sober????
AA, SMART, WOS, Rational? Personally, AA saved my life.
Sorry, but if you expect to stay sober simply posting here..........
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Michelle,
ear plugs???? Just kidding! Maybe.
Maybe you could both sleep better sleeping separately for awhile. Having your sleep disrupted will make anyone, sober, using, codies, ANYBODY edgy. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, y'know?
When I need to just get away before I blow, I go sit in my car with the a/c long enough to calm down. Hey, it's peaceful. It gets me out of the house!
I disagree with the above, I have seen strength and coping skills in you. And one of them is in coming here.
Good luck!
live
ear plugs???? Just kidding! Maybe.
Maybe you could both sleep better sleeping separately for awhile. Having your sleep disrupted will make anyone, sober, using, codies, ANYBODY edgy. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, y'know?
When I need to just get away before I blow, I go sit in my car with the a/c long enough to calm down. Hey, it's peaceful. It gets me out of the house!
I disagree with the above, I have seen strength and coping skills in you. And one of them is in coming here.
Good luck!
live
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Somewhere in the Mojave Desert
Posts: 498
Hey Tom,
Good advise...needed to hear this myself this morning.
Michelle, hang in there. Listen to what people at this site tell you. It will be okay as long as we do what we have to do (one day at a time) to stay sober. I know it is tough...we all know that. We do make it harder than it has to be. I know I am my own worst enemy! My husband is not an addict/alcoholic and has never suffered from addiction and I am thankful that he has not. I would not wish this type of disease on anyone in the world. However, I have it and I have to get thru the craziness and deal with me which is something I don't want to do. Being sober takes courage. You can do it. Talk to Kurt. I'm sure that once he understands a little more about what you are going through he will give you the room you need to breath and grow.
Sending you prayers and good thoughts. (I have been sleeping in our guest room for the past couple of weeks. It sure helps me to get sleep and my husband understands. I think he enjoys having that big huge bed all to himself!) Try to get to a meeting or church or whatever works for you. SR is a great place and I love it and it gives me strength but I know I need to go to AA and having both my SR family and my AA meetings gives me double protection from myself! LOL.
Love,
Laci
(9 days....here we go again!)
Good advise...needed to hear this myself this morning.
Michelle, hang in there. Listen to what people at this site tell you. It will be okay as long as we do what we have to do (one day at a time) to stay sober. I know it is tough...we all know that. We do make it harder than it has to be. I know I am my own worst enemy! My husband is not an addict/alcoholic and has never suffered from addiction and I am thankful that he has not. I would not wish this type of disease on anyone in the world. However, I have it and I have to get thru the craziness and deal with me which is something I don't want to do. Being sober takes courage. You can do it. Talk to Kurt. I'm sure that once he understands a little more about what you are going through he will give you the room you need to breath and grow.
Sending you prayers and good thoughts. (I have been sleeping in our guest room for the past couple of weeks. It sure helps me to get sleep and my husband understands. I think he enjoys having that big huge bed all to himself!) Try to get to a meeting or church or whatever works for you. SR is a great place and I love it and it gives me strength but I know I need to go to AA and having both my SR family and my AA meetings gives me double protection from myself! LOL.
Love,
Laci
(9 days....here we go again!)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
I dont know how long you drank for, but, I drank for a good 16 years. I drank hard for about the last 8 of those 16 years. During this time, I became, as all alcoholics do, one of the most selfish S.O.B.'s in the world. When I took alcohol out of the equation, I had absolutely no patience, no respect for other peoples space, and thought everyone was invading mine. We are basically just grown infants. You are right where you are supposed to be in recovery. This sounds very normal. Just try and keep in mind that he is doing this for you. But it wouldnt hurt to just tell him to 86 the whistling 
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
It has been suggested by rehab professionals, Drs. and many with double digit sobriety we tend to stop growing emotionally when we start drinking and using.
For me, that age was 15. As I continue to progress in sobriety, I still face issues where I need to grow emotionally. And I'm sure I will for years to come.
Most alcohoilics and addicts tend not to have the greatest coping skills, thus the need for some sort of program. A program about sobriety, and equally as important, guidelines to live life, sober. Not to mention, joyous, happy and free.
For me, that age was 15. As I continue to progress in sobriety, I still face issues where I need to grow emotionally. And I'm sure I will for years to come.
Most alcohoilics and addicts tend not to have the greatest coping skills, thus the need for some sort of program. A program about sobriety, and equally as important, guidelines to live life, sober. Not to mention, joyous, happy and free.
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
I know I stopped growing at 16, when I first started using. I've even picking up educationally where I left off (thank goodness I was ready to enter college at such a young age!)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Somewhere in the Mojave Desert
Posts: 498
Hey...Me to Alera. I stopped growing at...well...let see...don't know. Think I have lived my life as a child and no doubt have not matured properly. I am now however and darn it, I'm so grateful for people like you, One Day At A Time, Miracle, Denise, Ana...everyone. You guys are helping me grow up one day at a time.
I am grateful foir my husband though he does (at times) some annoying things that make me grind my teeth but....I couldn't live without him. He has loved me through all of this...for 15 years of the ups and downs, the promises and broken promises...the whole nine yards. I truly could not live without this man in my life. I love him and though he pisses me off at times with his ability to adapt to most situations without picking up a drink or a drug, I would not trade him for the world.
Patience, love, understanding and forgiveness....things I never knew about. Things I am glad to be learning about now.
Love,
Laci
I am grateful foir my husband though he does (at times) some annoying things that make me grind my teeth but....I couldn't live without him. He has loved me through all of this...for 15 years of the ups and downs, the promises and broken promises...the whole nine yards. I truly could not live without this man in my life. I love him and though he pisses me off at times with his ability to adapt to most situations without picking up a drink or a drug, I would not trade him for the world.
Patience, love, understanding and forgiveness....things I never knew about. Things I am glad to be learning about now.
Love,
Laci
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