Need Strength
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Lexington, Ky
Posts: 2
Need Strength
I so need strength tonight - please help me. I just don't know how I'm going to do this or get through it. Assuming there is a getting through it. A went to doc yesterday and doc had an intervention with him and a guy from AA. A walked out. Suprise suprise. Came home spittin mad. We talked last night and he's horribly mad at me for not telling him doc was going to do it. Yes I knew, but doc didn't want me to tell him.
I told A I'd try to back off on bitching if he'd control his drinking. Then tonight first thing I find he's gone through another gallon of vodka in less than a week, on top of all the beer. And he was gone all of last week, so that means he's drank it since Saturday and it's now Tuesday night. He says he doesn't have a problem. He drinks because it makes him better. Quack, quack, quack.
I'm so numb I can barely type. I want to try to let him beat this but he's lieing to me and himself. He's killing me inside to watch him throw away his life and his career like this.
When is it okay to say enough - I love you but I can't do this any more. What puts it over the edge? He's not violant to me or my son. He's a good man all in all, but he's lieing to me and drinking 24x7 and not listening to the doc. He now has gone off his depression medicine because doc said he couldn't have it if he was gonna drink and I'm scared to death for him.
How much more am I supposed to do, to watch, to take before I can say enough is enough. I never wanted to divorce again. I love him so much. I want to grow old with tihs man, but I don't know who he is or what he's become. My heart is broken. I'm devastated. I just don't know what to do.
I told A I'd try to back off on bitching if he'd control his drinking. Then tonight first thing I find he's gone through another gallon of vodka in less than a week, on top of all the beer. And he was gone all of last week, so that means he's drank it since Saturday and it's now Tuesday night. He says he doesn't have a problem. He drinks because it makes him better. Quack, quack, quack.
I'm so numb I can barely type. I want to try to let him beat this but he's lieing to me and himself. He's killing me inside to watch him throw away his life and his career like this.
When is it okay to say enough - I love you but I can't do this any more. What puts it over the edge? He's not violant to me or my son. He's a good man all in all, but he's lieing to me and drinking 24x7 and not listening to the doc. He now has gone off his depression medicine because doc said he couldn't have it if he was gonna drink and I'm scared to death for him.
How much more am I supposed to do, to watch, to take before I can say enough is enough. I never wanted to divorce again. I love him so much. I want to grow old with tihs man, but I don't know who he is or what he's become. My heart is broken. I'm devastated. I just don't know what to do.
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 58
Brokenhearted....
I wish I could help you figure out what to do, but you have to decide all of that for yourself.
I know how you feel watching someone you love slowly destroy both you and him... I have been there. I will keep you in my thoughts.
The doctor did what he could and now your husband has some information that it can be better for him. What he chooses to do with that information is up to him...
Blessings and happy trails.
RedAPBT in CA
I wish I could help you figure out what to do, but you have to decide all of that for yourself.
I know how you feel watching someone you love slowly destroy both you and him... I have been there. I will keep you in my thoughts.
The doctor did what he could and now your husband has some information that it can be better for him. What he chooses to do with that information is up to him...
Blessings and happy trails.
RedAPBT in CA
Guest
Posts: n/a
brokenhearted,
Just keep going a day at a time and continue to work on yourself. You'll know when it's enough. Everyone has something different that shows them when it's enough or they get to the point where they can be happy where they are.
You'll know when and what is right for you. Trust your HP to guide you. Sometimes we feel trapped and that can be just where the HP wants us to teach us and cause us to grow.
There is a plan for your life.
Have faith and take it just one day at a time.
Hugs,
MG
Just keep going a day at a time and continue to work on yourself. You'll know when it's enough. Everyone has something different that shows them when it's enough or they get to the point where they can be happy where they are.
You'll know when and what is right for you. Trust your HP to guide you. Sometimes we feel trapped and that can be just where the HP wants us to teach us and cause us to grow.
There is a plan for your life.
Have faith and take it just one day at a time.
Hugs,
MG
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Mt. Pleasant, MI
Posts: 6
Re: Need Strength
Broken Hearted, I can tell you what made me decide to get help dealing with my A. I started to become physically ill. I would get headaches, I could just feel my body starting to give back all the stress that I took in. What goes in...must come out. I am sure that you will find talking about it and venting some of your frustrations here helpful. I sure did! Keep your head up and I will keep you in my prayers.
Mrs. Podge
Mrs. Podge
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Brokenhearted,
I wish I did have an answer for you. The very best thing I can do for you now is to pray for you and your family. I know God has a plan for your life and HE wants you to be happy. So my prayer will be for God to make it clear to you as to what is the right thing to do. The problem is that God doesn't always work according to OUR timing. But I've learned that when I do wait on Him, and not try to get ahead of Him, things work out a whole lot better.
Hugs gal. You're gonna make it.
I wish I did have an answer for you. The very best thing I can do for you now is to pray for you and your family. I know God has a plan for your life and HE wants you to be happy. So my prayer will be for God to make it clear to you as to what is the right thing to do. The problem is that God doesn't always work according to OUR timing. But I've learned that when I do wait on Him, and not try to get ahead of Him, things work out a whole lot better.
Hugs gal. You're gonna make it.
Fantastic Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
****************************{brokenhearted}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I have been there. It took me a long time to say "enough"...and finally I had the A removed from the house by court order. It was hell. Long and short...he went crazy...drank even more...had an alcohol seizure and hit HIS bottom.They the (doctors) said that his chances for the survivial of that iwas only 50%. His blood pressure was so high...he should have had a stroke. God was with him all the way on that day. He then went in rehab...put himself in. He graduates to night from his intensive outpatient program...and goes to AA nearly every day. He really has changed...as of today. Can he maintian it...I have no idea.
When I came to this board I was so confused...finally I deceided I could not take another day of the behavior...and the daily bottle of vodka. You WILL know when you want out...and you can't stand for you or your child to see this another moment...trust me.
My A is doing greatright now but...he is not coming back home...not for at least six monhts, my choice. ...maybe never if it works out that way. I can't live like that again...never....he was killing me too.
Come back..often...we are here for you. Things can work out...I never really thought it...but now I have more faith.
Love Kitty
I have been there. It took me a long time to say "enough"...and finally I had the A removed from the house by court order. It was hell. Long and short...he went crazy...drank even more...had an alcohol seizure and hit HIS bottom.They the (doctors) said that his chances for the survivial of that iwas only 50%. His blood pressure was so high...he should have had a stroke. God was with him all the way on that day. He then went in rehab...put himself in. He graduates to night from his intensive outpatient program...and goes to AA nearly every day. He really has changed...as of today. Can he maintian it...I have no idea.
When I came to this board I was so confused...finally I deceided I could not take another day of the behavior...and the daily bottle of vodka. You WILL know when you want out...and you can't stand for you or your child to see this another moment...trust me.
My A is doing greatright now but...he is not coming back home...not for at least six monhts, my choice. ...maybe never if it works out that way. I can't live like that again...never....he was killing me too.
Come back..often...we are here for you. Things can work out...I never really thought it...but now I have more faith.
Love Kitty
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