Loans and Money
Acting not reacting
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Loans and Money
Hi guys and gals,
I have applied for a personal and unsecured loan to get a grip on some financial troubles we got ourselves in when he was actively drinking. I say we because he was not working and I didnt cut the branches off the money tree soon enough. So, this was at the suggestion of...everyone ready....his saint of a mother, who has applied as my cosignor. Fabulous woman she is.
So, I went to the bank today and I am waiting to hear. This money is really needed, so please say some prayers for me!
He seems really well actually, happy and healthy and working a program...meeting 4x week and keeping in touch with friends from rehab, and all sorts of good stuff. I would have liked it better if there was one particular female he wouldn't have been so in TOUCH with, but I kicked him out and we broke up, so its not as though he cheated! All with a grain of salt I suppose!
I have applied for a personal and unsecured loan to get a grip on some financial troubles we got ourselves in when he was actively drinking. I say we because he was not working and I didnt cut the branches off the money tree soon enough. So, this was at the suggestion of...everyone ready....his saint of a mother, who has applied as my cosignor. Fabulous woman she is.
So, I went to the bank today and I am waiting to hear. This money is really needed, so please say some prayers for me!
He seems really well actually, happy and healthy and working a program...meeting 4x week and keeping in touch with friends from rehab, and all sorts of good stuff. I would have liked it better if there was one particular female he wouldn't have been so in TOUCH with, but I kicked him out and we broke up, so its not as though he cheated! All with a grain of salt I suppose!
Acting not reacting
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Well folks, what bummer. Everything was all set until the bank told me the cosignor had to live in the same state as me. She doesnt.
I asked my fater if he would cosign for me and I am SO Mad that I even asked him, becuase of course he wouldnt do it. Says as long as I continue to talk to "him" he would not help me in anyway and maybe I should just get prepared to live the rest of my life poor since I can't managem money at all. I DO THAT FOR A LIVING YOU *****.
My dad is such an ass. He is an alcoholic but thats ok because he has lots of money and as long as you are wealthy, you dont really have a disease.
Ug.
I asked my fater if he would cosign for me and I am SO Mad that I even asked him, becuase of course he wouldnt do it. Says as long as I continue to talk to "him" he would not help me in anyway and maybe I should just get prepared to live the rest of my life poor since I can't managem money at all. I DO THAT FOR A LIVING YOU *****.
My dad is such an ass. He is an alcoholic but thats ok because he has lots of money and as long as you are wealthy, you dont really have a disease.
Ug.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crazy planet
Posts: 32
elizabeth,
I am not an alcoholic and I'm not rich and I wouldn't justify as your dad did (not talking to "him"). I don't loan money to a family member without a legal contract.
My children know this and I think it is a plus for them to know that I am not their personal bank to bail them out of their own problems. I have made loans to one son only because he writes up the contract and we discuss it in a business like fashion.
I am sorry that you are learning the hard way but sometimes it is the best way.
Hugs,
Loulouise
I am not an alcoholic and I'm not rich and I wouldn't justify as your dad did (not talking to "him"). I don't loan money to a family member without a legal contract.
My children know this and I think it is a plus for them to know that I am not their personal bank to bail them out of their own problems. I have made loans to one son only because he writes up the contract and we discuss it in a business like fashion.
I am sorry that you are learning the hard way but sometimes it is the best way.
Hugs,
Loulouise
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Anaheim,CA
Posts: 549
Have you considered using a credit counselor to help you pay off the debts?
Take a look at this article:Non-Profit Credit Counselors in CO
They might be able to help you and perhaps you wouldn't need a loan.
Take a look at this article:Non-Profit Credit Counselors in CO
They might be able to help you and perhaps you wouldn't need a loan.
too much on my plate!!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
Originally Posted by elizabeth1979
He is an alcoholic but thats ok because he has lots of money and as long as you are wealthy, you dont really have a disease.
Ug.
Ug.
It must be common with rich A's. (well xa isnt' rich, just got an early inheritance).
Acting not reacting
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Thx WTL I will call them today, I am CSU alum, so that should be a good place to start.
I apologize for cursing, that was inappropriate. I think my anger stems not from the faxt that I expect my father to help me and bail me out of problems, but the fact there is such a double standard in my family. I can not change anyone. Having said that I do not expect to. Its frustrating to be related to people that think unless you carry Gucci handbags and buy clothes from Roberto Cavalli, that you are scum. My father has spent alot of my adult years making me feel less than human because I dont make 6 figures. My mother bless her Out of control Codie soul tells herself everyday that its allright that he has an addiction, bc of the lifestyle she is accustomed to. Theres alot more buried under my anger than I want him to help me with money. If all I wanted was for him to give me money I would kiss his ass the way the rest of the family does.
I could go on and on and justify my anger, but its pointles and doesnt help me figure out my mess so, I wont.
I apologize for cursing, that was inappropriate. I think my anger stems not from the faxt that I expect my father to help me and bail me out of problems, but the fact there is such a double standard in my family. I can not change anyone. Having said that I do not expect to. Its frustrating to be related to people that think unless you carry Gucci handbags and buy clothes from Roberto Cavalli, that you are scum. My father has spent alot of my adult years making me feel less than human because I dont make 6 figures. My mother bless her Out of control Codie soul tells herself everyday that its allright that he has an addiction, bc of the lifestyle she is accustomed to. Theres alot more buried under my anger than I want him to help me with money. If all I wanted was for him to give me money I would kiss his ass the way the rest of the family does.
I could go on and on and justify my anger, but its pointles and doesnt help me figure out my mess so, I wont.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moving east
Posts: 217
Years ago when my ex walked out I was left with tons of credit card debt (which was in my name and I was stupid for that) I went to CCCS. They cut up all my credit cards and it took me 3 years and a payment every month but I did it. AND it didn't hurt my credit record. I have credit cards now but have never made that mistake again. I learned my lesson. Good luck!!
May it be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: A new day. Today I just see bright colors, in the small world of my dreams.
Posts: 384
Years ago when my ex walked out I was left with tons of credit card debt (which was in my name and I was stupid for that)
I also didn't prune those money tree branches, from xabf, soon enough... It's taking me almost 3 yrs and still paying. Hopefully within the next year, I will have this debt, gone. I have been cutting back on everything... Gee, Walmart... doesn't get to know me by my name. Try making more than minimum payments to the highest interest card till it's paid off, minimum to the rest & work down the line. then if your credit rating improves, try to get a card or soo, that let's you balance transfer to a 0% or low interest card. And quit being a nurse maid with your $$$, to him. here is a good site www.creditboards.com read their forum on credit and money management. I learned my lesson and no, I doubt that I will ever get repaid. But when the credit application proccessor, asks "Would you like to put any one on your card" I laugh, No Way...
I also didn't prune those money tree branches, from xabf, soon enough... It's taking me almost 3 yrs and still paying. Hopefully within the next year, I will have this debt, gone. I have been cutting back on everything... Gee, Walmart... doesn't get to know me by my name. Try making more than minimum payments to the highest interest card till it's paid off, minimum to the rest & work down the line. then if your credit rating improves, try to get a card or soo, that let's you balance transfer to a 0% or low interest card. And quit being a nurse maid with your $$$, to him. here is a good site www.creditboards.com read their forum on credit and money management. I learned my lesson and no, I doubt that I will ever get repaid. But when the credit application proccessor, asks "Would you like to put any one on your card" I laugh, No Way...
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