Getting his life together ... and sex
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 20
Getting his life together ... and sex
Just a really quick post although maybe to make more sense it should be longer. But in a nutshell ABF is sober 6 weeks and obviously am super proud, supportive etc etc. At the moment he is trying to teach himself to do everything sober, that he used to do drunk i.e. go out for dinner at a restuarant etc etc. So our physical relationship is taking a back seat which I understand. But six weeks? Am I being unrealistic to think it could be any time soon? It just feels a bit to me that he is busy on working on everything in his life BUT us. It's almost like it's not a priority. He has been more affectionate in general then he used to be, which is great ... but runs a mile at the suggestion of anything intimate.
I did relate to a LOT of people's posts in here that I saw before - sex always seems to be on HIS terms, he's not really that interested in it a lot of the time - although when we are intimate it is always amazing. I just can't understand that. Maybe my post should be longer to try and explain him a bit better but I guess for now my general query is how long for a alcoholic in recovery to get back into the bedroom???
I did relate to a LOT of people's posts in here that I saw before - sex always seems to be on HIS terms, he's not really that interested in it a lot of the time - although when we are intimate it is always amazing. I just can't understand that. Maybe my post should be longer to try and explain him a bit better but I guess for now my general query is how long for a alcoholic in recovery to get back into the bedroom???
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Welcome, KBear, and hang in there...
It's not unusual for those in early recovery to shy away from intimacy. Letting someone get close can be scary for a person who's used alcohol and/or other drugs to allow that in the past.
All things in time, KBear.
It's not unusual for those in early recovery to shy away from intimacy. Letting someone get close can be scary for a person who's used alcohol and/or other drugs to allow that in the past.
All things in time, KBear.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 20
Thank you for your feedback. And yes I am new, although I have been browsing the boards for a while this was my first post. I didn't go too much into detail because I was rushing off to work. I will certainly have a look at the post you linked me to Dakoda.
Thank you too StormyAutumn and NoCellPhone. I'm glad you said that. I certainly don't want to push him as I'm obviously trying to help and be supportive in any way I can. It's very hard and frustrating but hopefully things will get there. He has told me that he is still interested in me in that way, and he does want things to be better in the bedroom and that it will be "soon". I would take him sober as a friend then drunk as a lover - as I have done for the past couple of years. Anyway thank you for your feedback. Really appreciated and reassuring.
Thank you too StormyAutumn and NoCellPhone. I'm glad you said that. I certainly don't want to push him as I'm obviously trying to help and be supportive in any way I can. It's very hard and frustrating but hopefully things will get there. He has told me that he is still interested in me in that way, and he does want things to be better in the bedroom and that it will be "soon". I would take him sober as a friend then drunk as a lover - as I have done for the past couple of years. Anyway thank you for your feedback. Really appreciated and reassuring.
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