futureprimate

I just need a reply. I'm falling apart in a strange town with stressful school responsibilities. I thought it was going so well. Am I so f*n stupid to believe that? I'm thirty years old with seemingly a lot of stuff going for me ( a family who adores me even though they are far away, a shot at finishing a school degree) and I feel like a complete failure from beginning to end. Damn. It hurts bad. And when I hurt I slink away into a corner and hate on myself. Because I realize my life is my responsibility I don't want to burden others. And when I do, I have an even deeper self loathing since I should be able to work sh*t out on me own. Arrrrgggghhhhh, matey. I wanna walk the plank.

lulu70

((((((futureprimate)))))) Ask and ye shall receive. Sorry you are feeling so blue. What's going on? This is a wonderful site full of very supportive people. For the most part, our focus is on recovery from substance abuse, but there are many people here who have mental health issues as well. They two do go hand in hand after all. Anyway--hope you will stick around and post some more. Others will be along soon.

Glad you found us!

Hugs--

Gabe

Okay Primate, that's one way of looking at it.
Flip the record to the B side.
This is a whole new adventure for you.
A chance for a start in a different direction.
Go out and discover that new town.
You can't do that sitting in the corner.
And no walking the plank, you hear?
It's all in how you look at it.
Attitude is everything.
I expect to hear great things from you.
I mean it.

futureprimate

mental health? hahahahah....that is long gone. I drink every day from morning til night. I sneak out of class to drink. I know I am sick and terrified. Both things i swore i would never be. Thank you much for the replies already. I've been reading through the forums and am amazed at how quickly and decently people reply. I will not walk the plank, its just hard to get it out of my head. I just need to hear people right now and people to hear me. There is no one home to do that for me. Even my dog won't look at me right now. Bleh.

Gabe

Hey Primate, I hear you.
It's all about what you want.
What do you want?
Do you know?
Do you want to keep living your life the way you're living it?
Or do you want to make a change?
Coming here was a good start.
Finding some face to face meetings would be a great next step.
You are the one who decides how your life goes from here.
You...
only you.

lulu70

I can relate. Let's just say, "been there, done that." Eighteen months ago I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, went to treatment, started going to AA and working the steps, and I have been clean and sober since. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it was also the best thing I have ever done. My story is posted in the "Your Recovery Story" forum. Check it out, if you wish. Mostly, I just want you to know you are not alone. There are MANY people who have been right where you are right now. Some are still there.

Hugs--