Hi - I'm new
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 1
Hi - I'm new
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone can relate.
My mum is a recovering alcoholic - been sober for about three years now - but I think it's had quite a big effect on me.
I did a quiz and got 65%. Apparently someone else's drinking has 'profoundly affected' me.
Anyway, I came across this board and it interested me.
It concerns me though, because I don't seem to fit the whole 'perfectionist, super-responsible over-achiever' criteria that is often listed, and I feel like a failure for not doing. I mean, I have my problems. I used to be bulimic, and while I'm not actively purging at the moment, I still have an unhealthy relationship with food. I suffer from OCD, which I'm currently in therapy for. And I have problems with self-harm, although that's not as bad as it used to be.
It feels as if the family is getting over the alcoholism, but I'm stuck where I was when it all began (around 15 years ago), and it's as if I stopped developing emotionally during my teen years (I'm 18 now).
I'm about to move out into a flat with my boyfriend, and start uni, but I don't think I've developed enough mentally to be able to cope with all of this responsibility.
Part of me is mature, maybe even more so than my friends, but then another part of me just wants to curl up and hide from my problems.
I saw a thread about how people relate to the non-alcoholic parent, and I was thinking, I've often felt very protective of him (my dad). Maybe that's because he's a really sensitive person, but I also think that I kind of developed an alliance with him. At times, it almost seemed like us against her.
In don't know.
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone out there can relate. I sometimes feel like I'm different to other people with alcoholic parents. Although I suppose feeling different is part of the problem.
My mum is a recovering alcoholic - been sober for about three years now - but I think it's had quite a big effect on me.
I did a quiz and got 65%. Apparently someone else's drinking has 'profoundly affected' me.
Anyway, I came across this board and it interested me.
It concerns me though, because I don't seem to fit the whole 'perfectionist, super-responsible over-achiever' criteria that is often listed, and I feel like a failure for not doing. I mean, I have my problems. I used to be bulimic, and while I'm not actively purging at the moment, I still have an unhealthy relationship with food. I suffer from OCD, which I'm currently in therapy for. And I have problems with self-harm, although that's not as bad as it used to be.
It feels as if the family is getting over the alcoholism, but I'm stuck where I was when it all began (around 15 years ago), and it's as if I stopped developing emotionally during my teen years (I'm 18 now).
I'm about to move out into a flat with my boyfriend, and start uni, but I don't think I've developed enough mentally to be able to cope with all of this responsibility.
Part of me is mature, maybe even more so than my friends, but then another part of me just wants to curl up and hide from my problems.
I saw a thread about how people relate to the non-alcoholic parent, and I was thinking, I've often felt very protective of him (my dad). Maybe that's because he's a really sensitive person, but I also think that I kind of developed an alliance with him. At times, it almost seemed like us against her.
In don't know.
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone out there can relate. I sometimes feel like I'm different to other people with alcoholic parents. Although I suppose feeling different is part of the problem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone out there can relate.
I'm a bulimic with anorexia periods.. booze drugs,... whatever.. user...
I know for myself that yeah.. I did stop growing and maturing on a very basic level.. and learned to relate to the world in a very life polluting way...
Recovery is helping me change that by challenging thoughts and beliefs and memories I've had for a long time that are making me sick cause I'm stuck in them...
but still functional on another level...
life dissonance I call it..
I like that better than insanity.. ;o)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hey Stars, there is really no criteria you have to fit.
If someone's drinking has affected your life, it has affected your life.
Recognizing that is one thing.
It's what you do about it that makes the difference.
I am a firm believer that our past need not dictate our present.
We are free to put down that baggage we carry around whenever we want to.
"Want to" being the operative words in that sentence.
Glad you found us, stick around.
If someone's drinking has affected your life, it has affected your life.
Recognizing that is one thing.
It's what you do about it that makes the difference.
I am a firm believer that our past need not dictate our present.
We are free to put down that baggage we carry around whenever we want to.
"Want to" being the operative words in that sentence.
Glad you found us, stick around.
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