Jessie

Hi there

It's 11.30 UK time and I'm climbing walls. I'm 7 weeks today - and I can thank a meeting a day for that - and I'm wobbly. Feelings have started to surface and I have no idea what's causing them. I want to cry but nothing's coming out. I'm angry, scared and could do with chocolate right about now. I know it's all part of the process and I have to sit with all this stuff. I picked up the phone earlier and talked to another alcoholic/addict tonight and I'm doing everything in my power to keep myself safe but this sucks... I know it'll pass, and all I have to do is get through today, but it still hurts and I feel like a child for seeming not brave enough to cope. Anyway, as I was sitting in front of the TV, trying to distract - too tired to actually do anything else, but too wired to switch off - I suddenly remembered this site. So, thank you for being here and helping me in my hour of need. It was just good to sit here and get this off my chest...

wingsfree

Hi Jessie.....big congrats on 7 weeks, fantastic.

I understand how you're feeling, I'm going through the same emotions, ain't it fun? We both know it will pass, it always does, but SOME days yikes, you sorta wanna pull out your hair...climb walls.

What you gotta do is stop and laugh about it, put your mind somewhere else, most of it is in our heads when you really stop and think about it...I've drank a lot of years, I know our bodies sorta go into shock wondering why we are feeding them our poison.This side is tons better, in time the insanity will stop, we just ride out the storm.

It's good to know we're not alone, that sure helps, it helps seeing those who have a lot of sober time in...that's what I want, and so do you.....WE will get it too, that's a promise.

Take care, keep yourself busy, jump in a tub of bubbles, some music....anything to keep your mind off the blahs....it will pass.

Wishing you all the best....

Hugs....Denise

lulu70

Yes, it is part of the process, but you don't have to just sit with it all. You have already reached out by calling someone and posting here. Everytime we get all those crazy thoughts out of our heads they lose some of their power. Sounds like you are doing just what you need to be doing. Keep it up and it will get better. I am sure you didn't get sick in 7 weeks, so it will take longer than that to get better. Don't be too hard on yourself. What you are feeling is completely normal. Hang in there!!!

Hugs--

CarolD

Jessie....

What helped me in early sobriety was beginning a journal.
Sometime it is good to see your progress in black and white.

Way to go on your sober time.
The best is yet to come.

Jessie

Thank you all so much. I'm absoloutly exhausted today, but some of the rage has gone at least. I'm off to a meeting now, but thank you once again. It makes all the difference knowing I'm not alone... it really does.

Going forwards is my greatest desire.

Jess

suze37

Just to say that even though you where having a bad day you still found the time to reply to my post. I really apprieciat it I am still struggling with working out what going on with my H the fact you offered me a helping hand restores my faith Thankyou so much please keep in touch suze

jbm125

Hi Jessie...you are an inspiration. You're doing something most people couldn't. You're doing something most addicts and drunks don't. You're getting well. It took me years to realize I was killing myself with my substance abuse. Today I'm clean and sober, and have been for 6+ yrs. Keep going to meetings, keep posting here and keep yourself healthy.
God bless

nogard

Way to go Jessie and Welcome to SR.

nogard

Jessie

I don't know what to say... am on the verge of emotional tectonic activity (I can feel the rumblings... there were a few tears today - one or two) and you are all being so lovely. Thank you. It's reassuring to know there are people out there who know EXACTLY what I'm going through. Nice not to be different and feel 'normal' - in a mad kind of way!

Now, has anyone got a good joke? Something that will have me roaring on the floor... now is not the time for a sense of humour failure so if you have anything to get me goin... let me know!

Thanks again...

Jess

Dan

That is one of the greatest ways I have ever heard to describe what happens to me sometimes
Welcome Jessie.
If you haven't found it yet, there's humor by the bucket full in the Recovery Follies Forum, at the bottom of the main index.

Wishing you another sober day.

Jessie

Cheers for the pointer... look forward to a few chortles...



Had a look... always a giggle or two with good bumper stickers it has to be said. May well have to do a little searching myself to add to what looks like a marvellous collection!

wingsfree

Cheering you on Jessie, you're doing GREAT.

Dan sent you in the right direction, good place if you're in need of some laughs.

Take care...

Jessie

Thanks Wingsfree... I'm just trying to do my best one day at a time.

I've woken up with a stiff neck and worried about my teenage son who's State side with his bully of a father for the first time ... (Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama - I'm trying to let go of this.. think peaceful loving thoughts). Baseball bats and knee caps keep popping into my head. Oh well... one day at a time.

Maybe it's time for a work out!

Jess

degadar

Hi Jess,

I do know what you're going through. Have you tried warming up a pot of marmite in boiling water and dipping a banana in it?

I don't think it would help - but It might be an idea to try?

Keep on buggering on - it does get easier. Promise.

Deg.

Jessie

Thanks and I may give the banana/marmite thing a miss...I can't imagine why.

Must go do something productive today... it's chucking it down with rain and my flat looks like it's been burgled.

Trying to distract and getting stuck on here probably ain't helpin! Better than getting wasted though. Better than mental carnage and better than major emotional tectonic activity.

Sigh... I'm a lazy git sometimes...