Savana 54

Last night, my drunk boss (she's an A) totally humiliated me and yelled at me in front of everyone.I guess according to a few other employees that have been there longer, she does this on occasion. I simply asked her how to put paper into the credit card machine as it was out, and she said "you are going to do it on your own!" as she stood there and watched me, and gritted her teeth. I admit it kind of scared me.

I was in a hurry as I had a table waiting for their check, and other tables waiting. I couldn't figure it out and she kept saying "figure it out on your own!!" in a threatning tone. One of my co-workers tried to step in and help and she yelled at her and said "let her do it!!!" It was above and beyond a simple correction, she over stepped her boundaries with me as she was so drunk. She was very RUDE and verbally abusive.

I can't keep on allowing these A's in my life treat me this way. I didn't know how to handle the situation and did the best I could. One of the customers was very angry at me, thanks to her. I lost part of my tips due to her outburst.

Also, I got my first paycheck, and I was shorted over a hundred dollars. I finally got it taken care of, by talking to the bookkeeper, but it took forever to get it straightened out, and I had bills to pay.

OH WHY do I find myself in these situations dealing with drunk, alcoholic people? I want to quit so badly, but I need the money. My feelings were so hurt that I just wanted to run out of there as fast as I could. I just don't think I should put up with her verbal abuse; I'm sure it will only get worse with time.

I've been keeping my eye out for another job, but I just got this one. I'm so frustrated!

best

Only when we let it.

Understanding that it is the alcohol bringing out the worste in them, helps me deal with it.
Still don't like it, but it does help me not take it personal.

I can't change my boss. I can change how I allow his actions to affect me though.
When I feel the need to stand up and set a boundary, I have found that using a soft, controled tone helps. The one who remains in control of their temper, remains in control.

A hard lesson to learn, but a lesson well worth learning.
Today I will not allow the boss to **** me off. Today I will remain calm.

minnie

(((Savana)))

Best is right, keeping calm and cool is the most constructive option here. Anything else just feeds the dysfunction. What she did was not right, however she is the boss. Keep looking for another job and in the meantime, keep your contact with her to a minimum. If you need to ask something, perhaps you can get one of your co-workers to help.

Just remember - this isn't personal to you. This is how she is and is likely the same with other people. Rise above that. The tools we learn in al-anon help us deal with all sorts of people, not just spouses or family. Detachement is a powerful tool in this situation.

Good luck, hon.

Savana 54

Thanks for all the input! Although I'm a little surprised that you all didn't tell me to quit! LOL!

I don't think the atmosphere at work is very good for my recovery. Her husband which is the chef does the same thing; he is not an A. I know there isn't such a thing as a perfect working environment, but I must admit I've had a lot of bosses in my days, and have never dealt with this type of situation or behavior; especially not in front of customers or clients. Very unprofessional!! I have worked with many lawyers, and they can be a bit overbearing and aggresive at times, but they would also apologize from time to time, and they weren't drunk.

Oh well, time to move on and look for something better. I SO don't want to go into work tonight and deal with this bullsh*t!!!

Cazza

I will tell you to quit then! I had a job where my boss was NOT an alcoholic, just mean b*tch, and she was always cutting me down, playing mind games with me, and making me feel awful. I finally had enough and quit, with no job lined up or anything. I am not saying you should do that, but don't let it get to that point where you just have to leave... If I ever find myself in a similar situation again I would start looking for a new job ASAP! No one should have to take that kind of treatment. See if you can find a job where you are respected and appreciated.

minnie

I don't think you should just quit, because that won't be good financially. Definitely look for another job though!