fireice83

Hi My name is Erin. I just joined today because I thinK I've finally hit rock bottom or close enough to know that I don't want it to be worse. I've been reading different posts and everyone seems really supportive. It's been a two days for me without any substances and starting soon I'll be entering some sort of program. All I know is that during these past few days I'll be fine one second and then the next all I want to do is cry. My parents want me to talk to them about how I feel and what's wrong but to be honest I really don't know. I feel myself wanting a drink or something like sleeping pills so I can just not think about things. I'm sure this is typical but I don't want to tell my parents this because I know it will scare them. I was in the ER on Saturday because of a whole mess of stuff that happened because I drank. I really scared them and I don't want them to know I'm thinking about drinking because it will make them think that I don't want to get better. I do want to get better but I can't stop thinking about drinking......I'm craving that numbness....does that make sense?

recoveringaddic

you have to give it a try if you think you have hit ROCK BOTTOM! you have to not only do for youR family you have to do it for yourself. you know that you are going to go through withdraws and this includes cravings, bodyache, and depression you have to do it one day at a time that is the only way you will survive and get you mind right. believe me every feeling passes, every bodyache passes, depression passes but don't let your life pass you by, by picking up. JUST DON'T PICK UP AND THE FEELING SHALL PASS!!!GOOD LUCK

na4today

sounds to me like your parents are supportive. And welcome to SR this is a great place to be. Cravings are normal and they do pass, just don't give in.
Remember that you never have to use again.
kathy

Irish Virus

Hang in there.

The others are right in that the cravings will soon pass. It may seem like it will never be possible, but you got to believe the unbearable cravings will go away.

Utilize your parents and family for support. You'll be surprised at what a close bond that will form between you and the folks while you recover.

hector

I suggest Al-Anon and/or Nar-Anon for your parents. And talk to them. You're right, you're scaring them. You've told them you have an addiction and you need help. They're probably as scared and bewildered as you are.

Face it together. As previously said, you all need all the help and support you can get.

Addiction is a monster. Arm yourself. Fight the good fight - victory through surrender by admitting powerlessness. They're just as powerless as you are.

Get yourself to AA NOW! Right now! Don't wait! Phone! Go to a meeting. When you're asked to share, say what you typed in opening this thread.

You will find people who've been where you are. Yes, wanting to numb out by drinking again is normal. Don't do it. Never again, one day at a time.

I've been sober over sixteen years. One day at a time.

Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

CarolD

So glad you are looking for help! Congratulations!

Going into a treatment center is a wise move.
I do suggest you attend AA meetings before you go.

Your parents can go with you so they will be les scared.

Blessings to all of you...

nogard

Glad you found us, keep coming back

nogard

hopealwayz

HI Erin,
I'm Angel. I know exactly how you feel. Once we get used to numbing feelings, we tend to forget how to deal without the substances. But once we get sober, we can work and learn to handle our emotions over again . It is very intense in the first few months, but it slowly gets better. Also, cravings are normal, but as long as you do not act on them, they go away.

I am struggling with the same things as you are. Check out my thread and see how I struggle, but I don't let it pull me back in. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...654#post612654

I am glad that you are here and I look forward to getting to know you better!!!

Hugs !

lulu70

Hello Erin--Welcome to SR! Glad you found us. I know exactly what you are going through as I have been there before. I am an alcoholic who has been sober for almost 18 months now and can tell you it definitely gets better. Keep posting--you will find there are many people who know just how you are feeling. Also, remember.....there is no problem in life that drinking won't make worse!!!!

Hang in there!

Hugs--

fireice83

Thanks everyone!! I just stumbled on this site yesterday and am really glad I did. I've been reading different stories and posts and it helps. I keep wondering how I got myself into this mess. Three years ago I never even drank or did drugs. I was the poster child for clean and sober. People tell me that when they see me know it's like a different person and I don't even look happy but rather like I'm putting on a show for everyone. At this point I just want to get back to the girl I used to be.

For everyone I really wish you luck and I want to say that it helps a lot to see other people going through this as well. I feel really alone sometimes...even when I'm surrounded by people....hearing all of this eases that some!!! Thanks!!!!

CAPTAINZING2000

Welcome to the site

Glad you're here

We numb ourselves cause we can't deal with life being straight.

I've been to a lot of meetings to make my life good today.

I'd strongly urge you to try them if, you can't stop on your own


Chris

MNGirlyGirl

Welcome Erin! When I first stop using I had a lot of anxiety and ended up in the ER also. You are not alone -- hope you find a good support group!!

hopealwayz

I could have wrote those words myself. I never did drugs or really drank heavily until I went to college. At 22, I started drinking a lot and doing drugs. I became someone that I never thought I would become. Slowly, my soul started being chipped away. I felt like I was being sucked up into a black hole. I made the decision to get sober in Feb. 2004 but I always tried to do it on my own. I struggled to stop on my own for a year and a half before surrendering on August 4, 2005 and hitting meetings. I am finally starting to feel better and I feel like I am at the big turning point in my life. I feel like my soul has been awakened and that so many new doors have been opened up for me.

That is a priceless feeling. I know that you have a better life for you too. You never have to be alone. You have new great friends here on SR and supportive people in your life. That is a lot of invaluable resources that will help you so much. Please stick around and keep working at sobriety. You have a better life waiting for you and I will be glad to be here to help support you.

Love,
Angel