Dead Poet

Hello everyone! I need to gloat because today is my 19th day sober and I have a HUGE family party tonight. Friends and family are coming that expect me to drink, and no one knows what I'm doing because I like it private, nobody ever took me seriously about it and thought I didn't have a problem...........soooooooooooooo I am SOOOOOOOO nervous, I'm going to get a lot of OMG'S and laughs and they aren't going to think that I don't want to drink. I know it's early in my recovery and I am going to pray before I go down to the party to make sure I am ok. I'm realllllly nervous.
-B

ArthurDent

Maybe others will have better advice, but here's a few off the top ideas;

Tell them the truth outright, or
Say you've taken painkillers for toothache and can't drink, or
Say you got plastered recently and can't face it, or
Say your stomach's off and you think you'll puke..?

And;

Drink loads of water before you go, then loads when you get there - a bloated stomach doesn't really want more drink.

How about enlisting the help of someone close? Ask them to stand up for you (in a casual but obvious way) when you say you don't want to drink, perhaps even join you in a nice mixed fruit juice.

Whatever you do, just don't take that first alcoholic drink! If you can somehow take a second and third without touching a first one then fine. It's the first that starts it all, isn't it..?

All power and a happy sober morning after to you!

Dead Poet

haha thanks!! Those are really good, and your right about the first...it's always "just one".....i really like your sugestions, and my best friend knows so I'll have her be my toughie!! Thanks, that really helped a lot........going to fill up my water bottle

2tough2die

If you're in NJ, then it's about 1000 degrees outside. I wouldn't drink in this mucky heat even when I was drinking! Just claim dehydration from the marathon you ran this morning

Or just say you have to drive into Philly/NY (I dunno which is closer) later that night for something...

ArthurDent

Oops, in case you don't know I should have mentioned that by loads of water I mean just a couple of large glasses.

You can actually over-hydrate your brain and go into a coma if your stuff a lot down yourself too fast. I think it takes a couple of litres drunk fairly quickly, but go easy anyway.

I'm sure you're sensible enough to know that I meant just bloat your stomach with a couple of glasses so you don't feel like drinking much more.

Have plenty of sober fun!

Valeria

I would just tell everyone. I have told several friends and I was terrified at what they would say. When I told them face-to-face and said this was a problem...I got so much support. Tell them you need their support and their help. If you are socializing, you need them to help you not drink.


If they don't support you..they aren't looking out for your best interests.

Valeria

When I first stopped drinking, I was amazed at the amount of water and iced tea I drank. I was just so accustomed to having a drink in my hand...
I go to social events and always keep a drink in my hand....a non-alcoholic one.

2tough2die

Common theme. I got the same support, if not "Let me help you", but at least there wasn't the old "C'mon, one for old times sake" talk from my real friends. You know, the one's I still hang out with

I always have a drink in hand when socializing around alcohol too. Ginger Ale or an occassional Cranberry Juice are my fall-backs. Especially in bars. I dont need everyone in the joint wondering if I'm dry. Bad enough I'm still a little self conscious about it to start, but I dont need to advertise by drinking Pepsi outta a big fat McDonald's straw!

At least I can feel like I look like a cool normal drinker, even if I ain't.

Dead Poet

Last night reinforced the power of God for me...................... I did good!!!!!!!!!! Not too many were conspicuous, my best friend knows and stood up for me when one of our guy friends said a dumb remark without me even asking her for the help, and I held on SO tight. Don't get me wrong, that other side of my mind was like you want it, but the smart one overruled and the only sign i had like a flashing neon sign was it starts with the first , NOT oh, only one won't hurt !!! YaYYYYY!!!!!!!!! 20 days

Cathy31

Wow, Deadpoet! That is absolutely awesome! I am SO pleased for you - it's great when we really see the power of God working in our lives - if we just let Him.

Good for you!! That was a major test and you did great!!! Isn't it so divine the way our self respect comes back when we stay sober?

keep it up, and thanks for letting us know!

Love,
Cathy31
x

MNGirlyGirl

I'm glad you were able to stay strong! congrats on 20 days!! Perhaps in time you will feel more comfortable just staying "I don't drink". I'm sure at this point that may get a laugh from your friends, but it works well with acquaintances.