Smyle

This is my first log on and to tell you the truth I don't know where to begin. I'm not having a good day. Recently discovered my wife is having an affair and is once again using. She's been taking mainly hydrocodone(30 per day) and soma(15 per day). She's now out of them and has said she's going to get clean, however I've heard this before. I want to help but am unsure of what to do. I know I need to stop enabling her and that her recovery has to come from her, not me. I've been guilty of taking responsibility for her health in the past and am no longer going to do so. So what can I do to help and not enable?

In memory of miracle

To SR. Honestly there is not a thing you can do about your wife's using,or her affairs. Just take care of yourself. I have been down that dark road, and honestly, it almost killed me. There is a great family and friends forum here that you might post on and browse.Glad your here.
Bless, Trish

MNGirlyGirl

I agree with Miraclen -- you need to concentrate on taking care of yourself. You cannot control someone else's actions. You may want to check out Alanon and the Family Members forums. Best wishes.

Time2Surrender

Welcome to SoberRecovery.You can get a lotta support at this site.Hopefully you can find some answers here too.Take care of yourself first.

lulu70

Hello, Smyle. Welcome to SR. Glad you found us. Sorry you are having such a tough time with your wife. I am a recovering alkie/pothead and I can tell you from experience there is nothing anyone could have done to help me get clean and sober until I was ready to do it myself. Definitely take some time to introduce yourself on the Friends and Family and Nar-anon boards here. There are many people who have been right where you are right now. Hang in there!

Hugs--

mendingheart

Oh my heart goes out to you, ...... I have been in a similar place. Stick around here, do lots of reading and if you can find a NA meeting in your area. You will find a great support system here, and this place is the best thing that ever happened to me, ...
Take care of YOU.....and remember the three C's you did not Cause this you cannot Cure this, and you cannot Control it. ....or it will control you and make you crazy.
Hugs and welcome to SR!

Scared2Bme

If you really wan't to support her, tell her you wan't to see her clean and tell her you will go to NA meetings with her for support. She might feel more comfortable with you by her side. Just my opinion, but like others have said you have to take care of yourself first.

Good luck Smyle!
Adam