HI Guys..news from Kitty
Fantastic Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
HI Guys..news from Kitty
Hi everyone....
Boy this week has flown by! I am sitting here with a baby cold...hope it stays "baby" : )
I have been going with the A to his IOP rehab....I think I have heard most of everything here on the boards~ I am sure the A's have not...but it is amazing how much people just do not know about life. Guess that is one reason the end up like they are?
Last week was on communication....my family night session...I was stunned how little so many knew. They A was almost angry with me for "being" so in to the conversation. Granted I have been in counselling since my first A...I certainly did not learn how NOT to get involved with another A from my years with a counsellor...but I must have hit a raw nerve cause he was not happy with me. Oh well....he requested that I come.
He is doing well...but ...I worry that he thinks that I will be able to give him the answer he wants soon! COME BACK. I am just not ready for that...even though I am bored and lonely. He already is making me guilty about the holidays! UHJ : (
Tomorrow we attend a dinner together....maybe that is why I have the cold? I am nervous about it.
Hope you all have a good weekend
Love Kittty
Boy this week has flown by! I am sitting here with a baby cold...hope it stays "baby" : )
I have been going with the A to his IOP rehab....I think I have heard most of everything here on the boards~ I am sure the A's have not...but it is amazing how much people just do not know about life. Guess that is one reason the end up like they are?
Last week was on communication....my family night session...I was stunned how little so many knew. They A was almost angry with me for "being" so in to the conversation. Granted I have been in counselling since my first A...I certainly did not learn how NOT to get involved with another A from my years with a counsellor...but I must have hit a raw nerve cause he was not happy with me. Oh well....he requested that I come.
He is doing well...but ...I worry that he thinks that I will be able to give him the answer he wants soon! COME BACK. I am just not ready for that...even though I am bored and lonely. He already is making me guilty about the holidays! UHJ : (
Tomorrow we attend a dinner together....maybe that is why I have the cold? I am nervous about it.
Hope you all have a good weekend
Love Kittty
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Hi Kitty,
I was looking for you today. You've been away so long. I'm glad things are still going well.
Your smart to give it time before you jump back in. A speaker at a meeting I went to said only 1% make it the first time around without drinking again.
I would hate to see you have to go through all of this all over again.
Hugs to you and prayers for your A.
MG
I was looking for you today. You've been away so long. I'm glad things are still going well.
Your smart to give it time before you jump back in. A speaker at a meeting I went to said only 1% make it the first time around without drinking again.
I would hate to see you have to go through all of this all over again.
Hugs to you and prayers for your A.
MG
Fantastic Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
MG : )
Ever so right! We sat in the Kahuna A docs office and he told my A almost 99% fail!~ The A tried to argure the point and he said you know.................in a very soft voice to my A.......YOU JUST DO NOT GET IT...if I had a $1.00 bill for every A that argued that they would not fail...I would have stopped working years ago...as I would be a multi-mult- millionaire.
I am not hurrying anything...and if he needs me to give him the answer........ then...he can move on!
Love Kitty
Ever so right! We sat in the Kahuna A docs office and he told my A almost 99% fail!~ The A tried to argure the point and he said you know.................in a very soft voice to my A.......YOU JUST DO NOT GET IT...if I had a $1.00 bill for every A that argued that they would not fail...I would have stopped working years ago...as I would be a multi-mult- millionaire.
I am not hurrying anything...and if he needs me to give him the answer........ then...he can move on!
Love Kitty
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: upstate, ny
Posts: 135
hi kitty,
good luck with ur situation. i went to family days counseling onoct.2 and 3rd. my husband was really making progress. i am financially dependent on him at this point in my life. pretty scary. i have to take care of my mom with alzheimers. nursing care is too expensive to make it worth my while to work full-time. i do a cleaning job on weekends and work on friday's when i can get a family member to watch my mom for 4 hours. my husband is an electrician and makes a good living. before he went in rehab for 2 weeks i just wanted him to leave. while he was in rehab i saw a glimmer of the man i fell in love with before the illness had progressed. 16 years. i really just wanted to disassociate with him and from all the pain. unfortunately i can't support myself right now, so i had to compromise my gut feelings for bare survival to keep a roof over my kids, my mom and my head, and let him come back. i also had to change my attitude to deal with the aftermath of all my bad feelings towards him. i also had to let go of my pride and anger and do what looked to be the answer. so to make a long story short i discovered how much i needed the alanon philosophy. i do believe that my higher power gave me this trial to lead me to alanon. i am a stubborn. bitter, angry, woman underneath my" oh everythings ok exterior". right now we are together in the house annd i am trying to absorb the alanon ways becauuse it's working for me.mike(husband) is inoutpatient group and claims to have clean drug screen. he is rejecting aa even tho old friend from aa calls a lot to see how he's doing. he's gonna go do a free electrical job for this aa friend, even tho i can see how uncomfortable it is for him to have contact with aa friend. i think that he has a lot of guilt towards friend because after every bender he calls this man and goes to aa 3 or 4 times, than he decides that he isn't like those people and stops going. i'm thinking that perhaps that's part of his roller-coaster to recovery. i hope so. today i'm gonna focus on my needs. i guess what i'm rambling on about is that hp guided me to take him back out of rehab so that i can learn compassion thru alanon for myself and him. i don't know what tomorrow holds, but i may have to ask him to leave or have him arrested if he uses and abuses. i have very little faith in him, so i guess i better work my program and not worry too much. if i had a full-time job i probably would have told him to work on his sobriety for a while before he came home permanently. i think that would have been me manipulating his recovery if i could have had that option. i know today that my hp guided me and taught me alot by this experience. i also know it wasn't all about me either. i have kids that were real angry and him coming home has caused them to be a little more aware of the illness and helped their compassion level. i think ur answers lay within ur heart, and take the time to pray and meditate. i learned from a wise soul at alanon that prayer is talking to god and meditation is listening to him. i'm really working on that. hugs from sugar
good luck with ur situation. i went to family days counseling onoct.2 and 3rd. my husband was really making progress. i am financially dependent on him at this point in my life. pretty scary. i have to take care of my mom with alzheimers. nursing care is too expensive to make it worth my while to work full-time. i do a cleaning job on weekends and work on friday's when i can get a family member to watch my mom for 4 hours. my husband is an electrician and makes a good living. before he went in rehab for 2 weeks i just wanted him to leave. while he was in rehab i saw a glimmer of the man i fell in love with before the illness had progressed. 16 years. i really just wanted to disassociate with him and from all the pain. unfortunately i can't support myself right now, so i had to compromise my gut feelings for bare survival to keep a roof over my kids, my mom and my head, and let him come back. i also had to change my attitude to deal with the aftermath of all my bad feelings towards him. i also had to let go of my pride and anger and do what looked to be the answer. so to make a long story short i discovered how much i needed the alanon philosophy. i do believe that my higher power gave me this trial to lead me to alanon. i am a stubborn. bitter, angry, woman underneath my" oh everythings ok exterior". right now we are together in the house annd i am trying to absorb the alanon ways becauuse it's working for me.mike(husband) is inoutpatient group and claims to have clean drug screen. he is rejecting aa even tho old friend from aa calls a lot to see how he's doing. he's gonna go do a free electrical job for this aa friend, even tho i can see how uncomfortable it is for him to have contact with aa friend. i think that he has a lot of guilt towards friend because after every bender he calls this man and goes to aa 3 or 4 times, than he decides that he isn't like those people and stops going. i'm thinking that perhaps that's part of his roller-coaster to recovery. i hope so. today i'm gonna focus on my needs. i guess what i'm rambling on about is that hp guided me to take him back out of rehab so that i can learn compassion thru alanon for myself and him. i don't know what tomorrow holds, but i may have to ask him to leave or have him arrested if he uses and abuses. i have very little faith in him, so i guess i better work my program and not worry too much. if i had a full-time job i probably would have told him to work on his sobriety for a while before he came home permanently. i think that would have been me manipulating his recovery if i could have had that option. i know today that my hp guided me and taught me alot by this experience. i also know it wasn't all about me either. i have kids that were real angry and him coming home has caused them to be a little more aware of the illness and helped their compassion level. i think ur answers lay within ur heart, and take the time to pray and meditate. i learned from a wise soul at alanon that prayer is talking to god and meditation is listening to him. i'm really working on that. hugs from sugar
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North America
Posts: 362
Kitty,
Hang in there...your doing so well! I hope the cold stays a baby too! I just got over a nasty bronchitis.... not fun!
Your such a strong person....staying in the safe zone for now, best place to be!!!
Hang in there...have a great weekend!
Hang in there...your doing so well! I hope the cold stays a baby too! I just got over a nasty bronchitis.... not fun!
Your such a strong person....staying in the safe zone for now, best place to be!!!
Hang in there...have a great weekend!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
******{Kitty}}}}
I missed you, but you sound terrific. If anyone needs an answer right now, you just tell them "#@$$!!^%" and you can say I said so.
They say the best way to get rid of a cold is to give it to someone else (hee hee hee) - anyone come to mind?
Keep doing all your good stuff. And don't be a stranger here - we miss our Miss Kitty.
I missed you, but you sound terrific. If anyone needs an answer right now, you just tell them "#@$$!!^%" and you can say I said so.
They say the best way to get rid of a cold is to give it to someone else (hee hee hee) - anyone come to mind?
Keep doing all your good stuff. And don't be a stranger here - we miss our Miss Kitty.
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Anns,
Wish I had known about the cold trick - I would have given mine away a week ago! Guess I am being selfish in keeping it all to myself.
Kitty, glad to see you're back and doing ok. His recovery is about him, and he might make it, and he might not. The good news is that is NOT about you no matter what he says. You do not have the power to make someone drink or not drink, or use or not use. Those are HIS choices, and his consequences.
I used to wonder why I continued to get involved with As... I explored it from every angle imaginable in counseling and as I worked my own 12 steps, and I finally came up with this: its cuz they are so exciting, entertaining and so darn much FUN when they aren't busy being asscoholics !! Oh well, that's why I continue to go to meetings and work on my recovery. I am dating another one and I love him madly.... but when it comes right down to it he's in recovery, has been for 20yrs, but he's still got that THING that makes him an A .... and I am attracted to those personality traits I guess!
Glad to see you. We've missed you on the boards.
Osier59
Wish I had known about the cold trick - I would have given mine away a week ago! Guess I am being selfish in keeping it all to myself.
Kitty, glad to see you're back and doing ok. His recovery is about him, and he might make it, and he might not. The good news is that is NOT about you no matter what he says. You do not have the power to make someone drink or not drink, or use or not use. Those are HIS choices, and his consequences.
I used to wonder why I continued to get involved with As... I explored it from every angle imaginable in counseling and as I worked my own 12 steps, and I finally came up with this: its cuz they are so exciting, entertaining and so darn much FUN when they aren't busy being asscoholics !! Oh well, that's why I continue to go to meetings and work on my recovery. I am dating another one and I love him madly.... but when it comes right down to it he's in recovery, has been for 20yrs, but he's still got that THING that makes him an A .... and I am attracted to those personality traits I guess!
Glad to see you. We've missed you on the boards.
Osier59
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