BrotherInLaw

My wife has 5 brothers who are alchololics. Recently one brother is having a liver transplant. My wife will be with him for three monthes to see him through it. Her other 4 brothers are raging alcholoics. They are drinking with diabetes and are losing such things as sight and toes. I fear they will become totally blind and disabled within years.

How can I let their problem be their problems? How should I explain it to them...that if they continue doing this no help from me?


Thanks

A Brother In Law

cwohio

welcome BIL - lots of great resources, caring folks and good info here at this site. detachment is the word and it's not easy to do. if you've never looked into al-anon - please check it out.

only the alcoholics can decide if they want to change - just as we can only change ourselves and our behaviors.

Swanie

BIL,
Maybe dont focus so much on how to tell them that they are getting no more help from you. Instead, keep the focus on yourself. Practice setting some good boundaries; make a list of things you are no longer willing to help them with. Then, practice how you plan to say NO to them with a non-provoking spirit when they do come to you for help. Cwohio is right. Al-anon is a great resource.
Good luck.