all in the family
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Second star to the right....
Posts: 845
all in the family
hi,
i just was on a trip around europe with my mum and sis, and saw all of my relatives around europe.
it was so disturbing and distressing, its was like an A-Z of how alcholism affects families.
the messy house, the joking thats really insulting, the inappropriate comments and unfunny sense of humour, the teasing, the hypocritical judging, the constant bitching and all of the whinging and controlling and manipulation, one family of cousins that drank a couple of bottles of wine every day and then more booze after tea, the whole family were alcoholics!
ay yi yi,. there was no such thing as recovery for them,
went to a group of islands and there was no aa, no alanon or anything at all! i felt lucky to NOT live there.
i managed by the grace of god to get to 2 alanon meetings, im a bit sick now with isms but am fueling up on meetings now im back home.
i wanted to share the miracle that i found at the meetings the tingle in my feet and the release but how touched i was. i had flown around to the other side of the planet and straight away found some people who loved me and understood me and helped me with listening and gave me their phone numbers too. i was upset because i learnt how much i couldnt hope for anything near that from my family. i felt so blessed to see the miracle of spiritual communion with people on the other side of Earth.
to be understood embraced and loved by a complete stranger in a foreign country.
the first thing to pack when travellin is my recovery meetings list and i couldn never travel with family again.
peace out
i just was on a trip around europe with my mum and sis, and saw all of my relatives around europe.
it was so disturbing and distressing, its was like an A-Z of how alcholism affects families.
the messy house, the joking thats really insulting, the inappropriate comments and unfunny sense of humour, the teasing, the hypocritical judging, the constant bitching and all of the whinging and controlling and manipulation, one family of cousins that drank a couple of bottles of wine every day and then more booze after tea, the whole family were alcoholics!
ay yi yi,. there was no such thing as recovery for them,
went to a group of islands and there was no aa, no alanon or anything at all! i felt lucky to NOT live there.
i managed by the grace of god to get to 2 alanon meetings, im a bit sick now with isms but am fueling up on meetings now im back home.
i wanted to share the miracle that i found at the meetings the tingle in my feet and the release but how touched i was. i had flown around to the other side of the planet and straight away found some people who loved me and understood me and helped me with listening and gave me their phone numbers too. i was upset because i learnt how much i couldnt hope for anything near that from my family. i felt so blessed to see the miracle of spiritual communion with people on the other side of Earth.
to be understood embraced and loved by a complete stranger in a foreign country.
the first thing to pack when travellin is my recovery meetings list and i couldn never travel with family again.
peace out
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Utopia;
That's wonderful that you were able to find that spiritual connection with like minded people all the way around the world.
I'm sorry such a wonderful trip was marred with alcoholism. Were there any positive things about the trip to Europe though? We have a choice about which things we will focus upon. I hope there is something that will leave you with pleasant memories.
Shalom!
That's wonderful that you were able to find that spiritual connection with like minded people all the way around the world.
I'm sorry such a wonderful trip was marred with alcoholism. Were there any positive things about the trip to Europe though? We have a choice about which things we will focus upon. I hope there is something that will leave you with pleasant memories.
Shalom!
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Hey (((Utopia)))
I have been wondering where you have been. Welcome back!!
Taking my mom on a 30 minute trip to the store is very toxic for me... I cannot imagine going half way around the world with her or any other family member for that matter.You are braver than I am....
I have found that I can only take very small doses of family. I talk to my mom on the phone a couple of times a week and haven't visited for several months..it is just too much for me to be around. Of course they try to guilt me about it... I don't do holidays or birthdays either. It is just too overwhelming.....
I have been wondering where you have been. Welcome back!!
Taking my mom on a 30 minute trip to the store is very toxic for me... I cannot imagine going half way around the world with her or any other family member for that matter.You are braver than I am....
I have found that I can only take very small doses of family. I talk to my mom on the phone a couple of times a week and haven't visited for several months..it is just too much for me to be around. Of course they try to guilt me about it... I don't do holidays or birthdays either. It is just too overwhelming.....
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
it was so disturbing and distressing, its was like an A-Z of how alcholism affects families.
the messy house, the joking thats really insulting, the inappropriate comments and unfunny sense of humour, the teasing, the hypocritical judging, the constant bitching and all of the whinging and controlling and manipulation,
the messy house, the joking thats really insulting, the inappropriate comments and unfunny sense of humour, the teasing, the hypocritical judging, the constant bitching and all of the whinging and controlling and manipulation,
The more I recover, the more I find myself chosing to not participate in the dysfunctional family events. I too can only handle them in small doses and small groups, as a whole group they are to me what kryptonite is to Superman!
Thanks for listening,
Shannon
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Second star to the right....
Posts: 845
thank you all. blessings.
postively i was very lucky to learn of heritage, something not everyone has the chance to know about. it enriched my understanding of my background and where im from but how much im determined to change where I am going myself.
im living with my mum too at the moment trying to frantically find somewhere to live of my own. it is toxic and i felt i slowly was slipping into isms when i was in europe. despite all of the painful crap though love held because the tears in my eyes assured me at times that no matter what i still loved all of my family and that feeling of still having love after all of it was so empowering for me. acceptance is the key.
it becomes so deep that truly we can face anything.
this trip has made me more serious with life.
not too serious i think because i used to not be serious at all about anything hevaily emotional (to avoid feeling pain, laughing in sadness etc)
i also am glad to have time away from family now not 24/7 which was driving me nuts as well as it was too sad to leave some of them because some of my cousins and i were scarily similar!!!
postively i was very lucky to learn of heritage, something not everyone has the chance to know about. it enriched my understanding of my background and where im from but how much im determined to change where I am going myself.
im living with my mum too at the moment trying to frantically find somewhere to live of my own. it is toxic and i felt i slowly was slipping into isms when i was in europe. despite all of the painful crap though love held because the tears in my eyes assured me at times that no matter what i still loved all of my family and that feeling of still having love after all of it was so empowering for me. acceptance is the key.
it becomes so deep that truly we can face anything.
this trip has made me more serious with life.
not too serious i think because i used to not be serious at all about anything hevaily emotional (to avoid feeling pain, laughing in sadness etc)
i also am glad to have time away from family now not 24/7 which was driving me nuts as well as it was too sad to leave some of them because some of my cousins and i were scarily similar!!!
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