oahegirl

Hi everyone! I am new and this is my first post. My situation is my husband is an alcoholic who quit drinking cold turkey in Jan. when getting a DUI. Several months ago after being sober, he has decided his feelings has changed for me and he said he wants a divorce. We have been married for 1 1/2 years and together 2 1/2. He starting talking about all of the regrets he has such 80% of the reason his first marriage failed was because of his drinking, the way he proposed to me, etc. I spoke to my pastor and she said his feelings have been numbed when he was drinking and now he doesn't know how to handle his emotions. He has probably drank for over 20 years. I do not want a divorce and love him with all of my heart. Is it true about numbing your feelings, having regrets, etc. He has not gone to AA, but has focused on work and exercise to avoid his feelings. I need help and advice. My world is crazy without him.

Thanks, l

lulu70

In my experience, when an alcoholic quits drinking, something has to take the place of the alcohol. My guess is your husband is feeling desperately unhappy without the booze and is looking for any way to make himself feel better. If he is at all open to it, I would encourage him to try AA or one of the many other alternatives available. If nothing else, maybe he would be willing to go to a counselor specializing in alcoholism or substance abuse.

These are all only suggestions, guesses, and personal opinion. Please take them with a grain of salt. What I know for sure is that you need to take care of yourself. Have you been to an al-anon meeting? You might find them to be very helpful. You might also want to take a look at the Friends and Family and Al-anon forums on this site.

Others will be along to welcome you as well soon. Hang in there.

Hugs--

nogard

Hi oahegirl,


Welcome to SR, as Lulu said the Friends and Family forum can give you lots of help and support.

Your Hubby will be "white knuckling" at present and going through turmoil, he needs support and as Lulu mentioned there is AA and many other organisations. Perhaps find a quite time to talk to him about this and see how that goes.

nogard

nocellphone

Welcome to SR, oahegirl...

I hope you'll come over to the Friends and Family forum so we can get to know you and share a bit of how we cope with others' alcoholism and how the effects it has on us.

Al-Anon meetings can be very helpful in sorting through the confusion and pain you're expressing right now.

I wish you peace...