did it!!!!!!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Windsor, missouri
Posts: 12
did it!!!!!!!!!
With all the help I got here yesterday I wrote the boyfriend a letter and sent it to him in the mail. I told him I was tired of his drinking and had given him plenty of chances to change or get help. Having kicked him out once before and all the lies he has told me I now have the strength to do this thing. I told him to move out and if he left his stuff behind I would take it to an auction and sell it if not taken by August 15th. I told him I was done and needed to work on my issues and that I could not do that with him there. He will get the letter today before I get home from work. Have made a plan to have daughter spend the night with her sister and will leave and spend the night with my other daughter if things get bad. Please pray that my strength will out last the hurt I am feeling.
too much on my plate!!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
Yes, that did take a lot of strength and courage on your part!
Thoughts and prayers going out to you! Stay strong, you can do anything you put your mind to!
((((((FW)))))
Thoughts and prayers going out to you! Stay strong, you can do anything you put your mind to!
((((((FW)))))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
FW....yes, it is hard to end a relationship even a bad one....I know exactly how you must feel, having been where you are a few months ago. It is good to see that you have a plan in action. Stay strong and keep praying to your HP....you have done something wonderful for yourself.....
Love, Patty
Love, Patty
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Windsor, missouri
Posts: 12
thank you
I am so glad you all are being so positive with me. I am having problems trying to keep the tears back. I am fine so far but when I will return to my home and he is there it will upset me if I start to cry. I hate it when people think that they have touched a button and use it against me. I will try to self talk myself to try and not internalize it so I will not cryhen I get there. I will try not to allow him to be able to know he has affected me that way. I am strong! I am a woman! I have many skills! I am good! I deserve better. I will survive and not be a victim. I will grow and learn from this experience so that I may heal and help others. And I will still be coming here. Thank you all for reminding of my worth. lilly
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
((((Lilly))))),
Do you absolutely have to go home? Can you go someplace else for a little while? If you don't trust yourself to be home alone with him, then maybe going home isn't a good idea. I know it's hard, but sometimes our fears are a big indicator that we're in a situation that is not healthy for us. Take some time and think it through... and remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to. You ALWAYS have a choice!
Thinking of you,
Shannon
Do you absolutely have to go home? Can you go someplace else for a little while? If you don't trust yourself to be home alone with him, then maybe going home isn't a good idea. I know it's hard, but sometimes our fears are a big indicator that we're in a situation that is not healthy for us. Take some time and think it through... and remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to. You ALWAYS have a choice!
Thinking of you,
Shannon
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
*HUGS*
I know how hard this is for you... I have to agree with Shannon, is there some place you can stay till he is gone? Ending a relationship is one of the hardest thing to do even if it is a toxic one. Its hurtful and at the very end like this its way to easy to lose your focus and go back to what was. Im glad that your choosing a better life for you and it will get better ... One Day At A Time.
I know how hard this is for you... I have to agree with Shannon, is there some place you can stay till he is gone? Ending a relationship is one of the hardest thing to do even if it is a toxic one. Its hurtful and at the very end like this its way to easy to lose your focus and go back to what was. Im glad that your choosing a better life for you and it will get better ... One Day At A Time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Windsor, missouri
Posts: 12
races
I have a back up plan. If I walk in and he startes in on me I will tell him that this is not negoiable and plan to go to the car races which last until midnight. I will not be sucked into his game and just walk out the door. I will then go to my daughters and spend the night. If he is not there when I get there I will take care to fix me some supper and play with my dog. I will lock the dead bolt which he does not have a key for. I may still go to the races anyway.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The burbs, Maryland
Posts: 130
Be strong! I've been there and always, always take him back. I've been sick of all the grief that comes from dating an alcoholic. You seem to be at a good place and are doing the right thing. Take care of yourself.
May it be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: A new day. Today I just see bright colors, in the small world of my dreams.
Posts: 384
jmo, but if he isn't there, at some point, lock the deadbolt when you are there and when you leave, (if he doesn't have a key) ~ this works. Give him time to get his stuff, or arrange to get it. Or another thing I did, was do whatever he didn't like (just don't know, what will get them disgusted and leave) I have that similar situation, only xabf left 4 months ago. I softened 2 times, it isn't easy, but then he just proceeds to take advantage again. I have myself on a tight budget and when he is around, he always has money for drinks, doesn't and hasn't for over 2 yrs, help with any rent, or bills. Then while he is here, he makes my utility bills go up, Enough... His life probably isn't the way he would like it, but he made his choice.
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