brdlvr2

When will I learn - Actions not words! I have my own issues with my drinking. I decided to quit and made it 10 days with only one relapse. My xabf caught me at a low point (due to my drinking) and I went for the old comfortable ways. We decided to try yet AGAIN. More promises from him that he would quit drinking with me. Well - you all know how that went. Not two days after him saying he was so happy to have me back - he hit the vodka again. Missed work and then the I'm sorry (again), didn't mean to hurt you (again), I'll try harder (again) etc. So on Wed - he pulls it again. Was to go to work later in the day due to the heat and was going to look for a real job and get his packet from MVA to get his license back. He calls me at 10 a.m. and from then on he's MIA. Out drinking all day with his buddy that he just ran into. I was hurt and I fell off the wagon myself. And he used that against me. He says - well you drank, you know how hard it is, why am I bad that I did it – we both messed up and hey- at least I didn't drink vodka this time etc. They will say anything to justify their mistakes won't they? I can't do this anymore. I feel numb to him - I'm sick of his constant drinking mistakes and the I'm sorry, it won't happen again, stick by me, WE can do this -- same old lines that he’s been saying for almost 3 years! I’m hoping that the longer I stay sober, my self esteem will get better and I’ll know and believe that I deserve better then him.

michski

Oh yeah, you stay sober and your self esteem will soar! You want a different life for yourself and I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself and being your own best friend!!
Keep it up!
hugs,
Michele

Vaporgirrl

Wow. Your story could be my story. Scary thing is, my ex just got his license back from the MVA last week, after 6 DWIs. Can you believe that?

I understand how you feel about going back to old comfortable ways. And I, too, am numb.

Why do we put ourselves in these situations? We are good people. We don't deserve this!

Hugs to you. I know how difficult it can be.

cwohio

honest post brdlvr - sounds like you are on the right track. you need to take care of YOU - do what you need to to get and stay sober for YOU!

prayers and hugs to you for your honesty!

christie