I Miss Him
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 16
I Miss Him
Hi I am new...I have a problem.
My ex is an addict and I left him, I guess down deep I was hoping he would get clean if I left and be a father to our child.
Now he is with another girl who is also an addict and I can't stand it.
I miss him, I love him and I want him back.
I know he will cause more heartache if I let him back in but I can't stand this.
My ex is an addict and I left him, I guess down deep I was hoping he would get clean if I left and be a father to our child.
Now he is with another girl who is also an addict and I can't stand it.
I miss him, I love him and I want him back.
I know he will cause more heartache if I let him back in but I can't stand this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
(((SueRita)))
I'm so sorry that you are hurting this way. You don't deserve to be put thru any more hurt. It is very hard to love someone who we know causes us harm and still have to do what is right and that is to take care of ourselves.
I know this is a very difficult cross to bear, but I am praying for you.
Welcome to SR!
Also, check out the naranon boards here on this forum.
You will find so much support here!
Take care!
I'm so sorry that you are hurting this way. You don't deserve to be put thru any more hurt. It is very hard to love someone who we know causes us harm and still have to do what is right and that is to take care of ourselves.
I know this is a very difficult cross to bear, but I am praying for you.
Welcome to SR!
Also, check out the naranon boards here on this forum.
You will find so much support here!
Take care!
Let Go or Be Dragged
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 23
Welcome SueRita, I'm glad you found us. There are wonderful people here to offer you support, I would not have been able to cope with the situation I've been in for the past 2 years had I not found this site. My xabf, is the addict in my life, addicted to heroin and crack. I totally understand what you are going through, the rollercoaster of emotions, the chaos and drama that living with an addict brings. I struggled with trying to end the relationship for a while now and just recently he was arrested which gave me the opportunity to do so. I love him with all my heart but can't save, help or fix him. It's hard to turn your back on the person you love, but sometimes that is the only way we can survive. Come on over to the NarAnon board and post your story, there will be many others who can relate to your situation and can offer some advice. Take care of yourself and your child, sending you hugs and prayers!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I am so sorry that you are hurting so much....my ex is an alcoholic and will not get well. As much as I have and still love him, I MUST leave him to his addiction. Please find help for yourself, you deserve to be happy and it is doubltful you wll find it with this man. Listen to danicam...straight from the horses mouth....hugs to you and your child.
Love, Patty
Love, Patty
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Hi, SueRita...
Come on over to the Friends & Family forum! There are plenty of folks there who have similar issues as the one you've described.
Just know that you are not alone and support is available for you as you work through the pain and confusion of dealing with someone else's addiction...
Come on over to the Friends & Family forum! There are plenty of folks there who have similar issues as the one you've described.
Just know that you are not alone and support is available for you as you work through the pain and confusion of dealing with someone else's addiction...
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hello
and Welcome!
As an adult you will get over heartbreak.
As a mother...you will be putting your child in danger.
Make a decision in favor of your childs secure future.
You choose to be a Mom...act sensiblely.
As an adult you will get over heartbreak.
As a mother...you will be putting your child in danger.
Make a decision in favor of your childs secure future.
You choose to be a Mom...act sensiblely.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 16
Hi and thank you for all the feedback.
I did something really stupid last night.
I went to "him" and asked hime for some money to get our babies ear drops.
Yes I admit I did it partly to see him but I also really did need the money, which he didn't have of course .
Then "she" comes out and stands right in front of the car glaring at me.
Before I knew what I was doing I through it in drive and nearly run over her. I was so mad !
She runs back in then in a few minutes comes out talking all this trash.
You know I already know I shouldn't have tried to run her over.
But who the h*ll is stupid enough to walk back in front of a car that nearly run over them on purpose and start talking trash ?
I did something really stupid last night.
I went to "him" and asked hime for some money to get our babies ear drops.
Yes I admit I did it partly to see him but I also really did need the money, which he didn't have of course .
Then "she" comes out and stands right in front of the car glaring at me.
Before I knew what I was doing I through it in drive and nearly run over her. I was so mad !
She runs back in then in a few minutes comes out talking all this trash.
You know I already know I shouldn't have tried to run her over.
But who the h*ll is stupid enough to walk back in front of a car that nearly run over them on purpose and start talking trash ?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
You are lucky...I would have had you arrested for attempted assult by vehickle.
If you need meds for your child...look for a free clinic. Ask your doctor for samples.
I do hope you got this sick obsession out of your head.
Your child needs you.
If you need meds for your child...look for a free clinic. Ask your doctor for samples.
I do hope you got this sick obsession out of your head.
Your child needs you.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
(((((SueRita))))
It sounds like it may be time to start doing the exact opppsite of what you are thinking when it comes to the father of your child. Pray for him and the ow....You don't have to let your thoughts about him and her put you in the place that you are in.
Yes it is your thoughts that are controlling you...he is not your source although your thinking is what is making you believe he is.
There is help out there for women who don't have money with babies who are sick. Now you need to keep yourself away from him because you are resorting to violence and you could end up in a lot of trouble if you have another episode.
I know you are hurt angry and afraid and you want to lash out. Take care of yourself and stay away from him ya hear!!!
It sounds like it may be time to start doing the exact opppsite of what you are thinking when it comes to the father of your child. Pray for him and the ow....You don't have to let your thoughts about him and her put you in the place that you are in.
Yes it is your thoughts that are controlling you...he is not your source although your thinking is what is making you believe he is.
There is help out there for women who don't have money with babies who are sick. Now you need to keep yourself away from him because you are resorting to violence and you could end up in a lot of trouble if you have another episode.
I know you are hurt angry and afraid and you want to lash out. Take care of yourself and stay away from him ya hear!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Tyler, Texas
Posts: 1,028
Girl !!! Please think about what is going to happen to your baby if you go to jail !!!
How are you going to feel if you go to jail and here is your addict ex and his girlfriend with your baby !! Do you really want that ?
How are you going to feel if you go to jail and here is your addict ex and his girlfriend with your baby !! Do you really want that ?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 16
I see what you are saying bab. It just hurt I can't even talk to him about our child anymore. Also I miss him and I don't understand any of this. Why is he acting like he hates me after I spent years trying to help him ?
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((((SueRita))))His behavior is a reflection of what is going on inside of him. I wish I could take your pain away. I am so sorry you are going thru this.
He is driven by his addiction. Try to see the what there is to learn from this. Your child needs you more than ever now. You can be sure he is not going to treat the OW any different than he treated you. Also when you start to get better he will likely have more tricks up his sleeve.
Help yourself now stay here with us. It's gonna be alright you are gonna be alright too...you don't need his $hit!!!
He is driven by his addiction. Try to see the what there is to learn from this. Your child needs you more than ever now. You can be sure he is not going to treat the OW any different than he treated you. Also when you start to get better he will likely have more tricks up his sleeve.
Help yourself now stay here with us. It's gonna be alright you are gonna be alright too...you don't need his $hit!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
...does he really SueRita...does he really get off the hook? In the big picture I think not and it will one day come back to haunt him.....but for now, YOU are ALL your child has ...... and you can not think about what HE is doing.....
Love, Patty
Love, Patty
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
You are the fortunate one because you have the child. I hope you can get your mind around that one....Yes,it's hard but there is lot's of joy in having a child. I am sure your child can give you more love than he can right now....
Put the focus on yourself and your child that you are putting in worrying about what he is doing and you will take some huge step to your own sanity. It is insane to worry about him at this point...
Put the focus on yourself and your child that you are putting in worrying about what he is doing and you will take some huge step to your own sanity. It is insane to worry about him at this point...
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