newmie

I have always heard that when a person is drunk their inhibitions are lowered and they will be more likely to say what they really feel. What is your opinion on this, do you find this with your A?? The reason I'm asking is because I was at a picnic yesterday and I ran into a friend of my A and he was very drunk, apparently drinking since the morning, and he started asking about me and A and I told him we broke up and he said he knew that but wanted to know what happened so I told him it was a difference in our personalities and we just were not compatible. Then he said some things about my A and some of my A's other friends and they were not very nice - I always thought he and A were good friends, he doesn't feel that way, he drinks with him on occassion because A is there, not because they are great friends. Then he told me that he always thought A was a jerk because of the way he treated me among other things. He also told me some of the things A told him about me and about how he was doing drugs and hiding it from me and how I was so dumb I didn't know what was going on. He also said some stuff about me, nice things, that he always thought I was so nice and all that stuff.
I'm just wondering if this is how this guy really feels or if it is the booze talking. With myself I always found that it was easier to express how I really felt when I was drinking, not that I drink anymore, this was back in my much younger years.

Lizbeth

I'm no expert but I think there is something to that. Inhibitions are lowered when under the influence. My AH would sometimes go on and on about how much he loved me and I was the only thing that mattered in his life blah blah blah. He was totally unable to express his feelings when he was sober. Very uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. However, he also would call me every name in the book and rant and rave when he was drunk. So what's real? What's the truth? Who knows. . . . I guess I don't place much value on anything that is said when someone is under the influence.

SexySadie

Absolutely...yes with EX? but it could go either way, he was always extremly loving and affectionate but lately had become confrontational upon occassion, never physical but could try and pick a fight but I never fell for it because I had it figured out...I'd just let him pass out. Usually believe it or not the full moon. I always thought that was the Cherokee in him.

michski

You can't trust anything anyone says when they're drunk!

Girlfriend

Hi Newmie,

I know when I drank, it was easier for me to say the things that I had wanted to say. Sometimes, I would drink just for that reason. It gave me "false courage". But, then when I was drunk, I could say those things, but OVER EXAGGERATE them. I'd end up putting alot more drama into the words then were necessary.

And, alot of times, I wouldn't remember what I said.

Don't believe what A's say to ya when they're drunk. Part of it may be true, but part of it just may be alot of drama. But, how do you dicipher which is what?

To try and figure that out would be to "get into an A's mind", like someone else so wisely said on this board before and to do that, is going to where they are. In a world of ups and downs and insanity.

Just consider the source.

((hugs))

nocellphone

There's an old adage about alcoholics while they're drinking (applies to politicians, too):

If their lips are moving, they're lying...

best

Don't even want to try that for 30 seconds.
No joke...it is dangerous in there. Land mines everywhere.An A can't even figure it out when drinking. How would anyone else figure it out?


Lips move = a lie, is a good way of looking at it.