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I didn't get it and I'm a mess!!

Old 07-24-2005, 03:49 AM
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I didn't get it and I'm a mess!!

I didn't get the spot that I interviewed for on Friday and I am having such a hard time now. I'm really depressed, angry, and I've isolated myself from everyone.

I'm having such a hard time accepting that I didn't accomplish what I set out to do. I feel like such a failure...

And I'm also sad and hurt that my best friend wasn't there for me when I needed him the most. He turned down a chance to spend with me to go hang out with his sister. I usually don't turn to him when things go wrong, but on this one day, I really needed a good friend and he turned his back. I am so hurt by him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurting right now..... :nose
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Old 07-24-2005, 04:00 AM
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To Life!
 
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(((AngelHugs)))
I'm sorry you are hurt now.
Perhaps you didn't get the job because there is something better around the corner waiting for you? I know that's happened to me more than once. I think something is a disaster; I internalize my failings; and then, something else happens that was far better in the long run!
Let go; let G*D.
Shalom!
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Old 07-24-2005, 04:45 AM
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the girl can't help it
 
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Angel-

I'm sorry that what you expected to happen did not happen.

When things don't turn out the way we plan there is usally a pretty good reason for it. Failure is a word that suggest an oppertunity to try again.

Oh how I wish one of my brothers would turn down their friends to be with me sometime....
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Old 07-24-2005, 05:14 AM
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JUST DO IT!!
 
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I am sorry that you are hurting also and I think that Splendra just said it that we don't always get what we expect, damn it I hate when that happens. That was my problem Friday night at our one year NA anniv. someone from SR at least I though she was going to come to the party and when she didn't show up like I expected I said ****it but I did hang in there and am better today. I know the hurt will go away without covering it up. Hang in there Vic
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Old 07-24-2005, 05:23 AM
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Failures are like skinned knees, painful but superficial.
Ditto to Splendra.
It's an opportunity.


This may come as a surprise to you, but failure is an illusion. No one ever fails at anything. Everything you do produces a result. If you're trying to learn how to catch a football ans someone throws it to you and you drop it, you haven't failed. You simply produced a result. The real question is what you do with the results that you produce.
~Wayne Dyer, from the book Ten Secrets.

It's a new day, today, you know
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Old 07-24-2005, 06:37 AM
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I'm sorry you are feeling down, hon'. Like others have said, there must be something better for you waiting just around the corner. Try to let it go, dear. Hanging on to the hurt and resentment will only tear you up. You are doing so well for yourself right now. Concentrate on the good things in your life. We're here for you......

Hugs--

P.S. Your friend must be pretty special to be spending quality time with his sister. I wish I could spend more time with mine!
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Old 07-24-2005, 07:59 AM
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Sorry about the job Angelhugs, but like everyone said it all happens for a reason. There is something else around the corner waiting for you and it will come.
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Old 07-24-2005, 05:40 PM
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So Sorry, AngelHugs!! **{HUGS}} Keep your chip up!
 
Old 07-24-2005, 05:46 PM
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(((Angel)))
Sorry things didn't work out for you -- this time...maybe... If you are an AA person, get to a meeting, call someone, don't stay isolated...

Remember -- God's delays are not God's denials!

Ken
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Old 07-24-2005, 08:47 PM
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Thanks everyone. I'm trying to keep my chin up.

I am praying that the hurt and emotional pain go away soon.
This just wasn't meant to happen at this point in my life but acceptance is hard to find right now. It will come when it is meant to happen.
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Old 07-25-2005, 09:38 AM
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Originally Posted by lulu70
Your friend must be pretty special to be spending quality time with his sister.
I think it is great that he is spending time with his sister. I just wish that he would be concerned enough to check back in to see if I was ok. When he was going thru a difficult time earlier this summer, he always called on me for help, encouragement, and advice. I was always there for him, giving so freely of my energy and time to help him thru the stuff that was happening.
Now, I wish I had the same thing from him. All I wanted was for him to be there for me just for a little while and he never even called me back.

I'm always there for him when he needs me but he doesn't return the support when I need it. I just feel like we are not on equal grounds in the friendship. I don't think this is give and take. I think I just need some time away from him to get over the hurt.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 07-25-2005, 10:26 AM
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the girl can't help it
 
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I have a friend who does all kinds of things for people in hopes that they will reciprocate and when they don't come thru for her she always throws up what she did for them in the past....I think she is begining to learn that when we give from abundance instead of lack that we find that our needs will be met...

She also has a huge stack of magazines that is litterly taking over her house she has never read any of them but she is saving them for when she get put into a nursing home so she will have something to read.

I asked her why doesn't she give them to a nursing home and hope that someone makes a donation of magazines when she gets put into a home. She is begining to see an element of the ridiculousness to her thinking.

Don't forget that God is always there...
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Old 07-25-2005, 11:03 AM
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It is totally wrong that I felt hurt when he wasn't there for me?
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Old 07-25-2005, 11:19 AM
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the girl can't help it
 
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I think the key word here is expect. Our expectation is what resentments are made of.

When you are in need go find someone in greater need and help them and then your mind will be off of your own dispare. Let your HP be your best friend that is what your HP is there for....

You will find that nobody can be there all the time unless you have a simease twin and I suppose even siamease twins have to detach from eachother sometimes.

It also means that even your best friend will have to go it a lone with out you sometimes. Were you there for your best friend so he would be there for you or were you there for him because you wanted to be?
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Old 07-25-2005, 11:25 AM
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I don't think it was wrong to feel hurt. It is human nature to feel hurt when we are disappointed. Hopefully you and your friend can find resolve and a better understanding of the situation. We all fill or needs at different times for different reasons.
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Old 07-25-2005, 11:53 AM
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Thanks for sharing those views. I didn't know if my feelings were justified or not. I was there for him because I wanted to be but I guess I just got stuck in a rut, when my own loneliness consumed me. I know that I'm not alone though because God is with me always.

This is something that I needed to read today:

Acceptance


Acceptance means that you
can find the serenity within
to let go of the past
with its mistakes and regrets,
and move into the future
with a new perspective,
appreciating the opportunity
to take a second chance.
Acceptance means you'll find
security again
when difficult times come
into your life,
and comfort to relieve any pain.
You'll find new dreams, fresh hopes,
and forgiveness of the heart.

Acceptance does not mean
that you will always be perfect.
It simply means that
you'll always overcome imperfection.

Acceptance is the road to peace -
letting go of the worst,
holding on to the best,
and finding the hope inside
that continues throughout life.

Acceptance
is the heart's best defense,
love's greatest asset,
and the easiest way
to keep on believing
in yourself and others.

-Poem by Regina Hill
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Old 07-25-2005, 02:25 PM
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Acceptance has it's place in recovery for sure. I think it is right to acknowledge your feelings. But, just because you feel hurt does not mean your friend actually did anything wrong or treated you unjustly

As for myself I would much rather someone be with me cause they want to rather than because they feel guilty because I did something for them. There is all kinds of ways to bring balance into your situation.

We can always be seeking peace rather than justification. Only God knows what justice really is we only seek justice out of our own sence of what we think justice is to right what we think is a wrong done to us. God will deliver justice in His perfect timing. But we might be trying to take a shovel full of justice when all we really need is a few grains to bring balance...
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Old 07-26-2005, 04:12 AM
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everything is already ok
 
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(((AngelHugs))) just found your post, sorry you did not get the job, I am sure its a blessing and that you will get something better.


nogard
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Old 07-26-2005, 04:08 PM
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My friend's grandfather is critically sick in the hospital and when I talked to him and he sounded mad, I assumed it was because of me. Things do not revolve around me. We sort of had some words a few days ago so i thought that he may have been upset at me because of that.
...But when I stepped back and took a closer look at the situation I saw that he is feeling angry and sad because of what is going on in his life.

...There is nothing I can do right now for him except let him know that I will be here when he is ready to talk and then pray for him. Please pray that God gives him the peace to have courage in the storm. I'm so sorry that he is going thru so much pain. I am going to back off and give him some time to be with the family right now and not call him for a while. He will be in my thoughts though. It is hard watching someone you love go thru so much pain.
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Old 07-26-2005, 04:14 PM
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the girl can't help it
 
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(((angelhugs))))

There you go that's the girl I know. Prayer going out for your friend and for you to remain strong!!!
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