mymomclosetodeath
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Hackettstown NJ
Posts: 2
mymomclosetodeath
History: Both of my mom's parents died from alcohol. My mom drank at a very young age and entered AA young. She was sober for 20 years and begun drinking when her kids left the nest. She is 54 and is missing out on her children and grandchildren's lives. Her drinking is steadedly worse. At one point vanilla extract she was drinking now its cheap bottles of brandy. She quit work, sleeps most of the time and misses events. She has been in numerous detox and recovery programs. What to do? We are at wits end! She will certainly die soon from this. Please help/offer suggestions.
(((ccurcio))) God Bless- I know your pain. My mom just passed in October from alcoholism. Your story sounds like my own- probably something that you don't want to hear, I know. My mother’s parents also both died from alcoholism. So I know you've probably always carried this pain with you as well. I did and still do.
Advice- Get her to the hospital ASAP (Some may argue against me)
I know if it's against her will then you're stuck but see if she will go.
My mom was in denial until the end and refused help. She like your mom was sober for seven years and started drinking again. I cherish those seven wonderful yrs. - she was so free and happy. I know how painful this all is - believe me, I know. The disappointment, pain, anger, helplessness, fear, depression and love all mixed up together. I know you've heard it all -right?- Like: Let her come to get help on her own terms, or detachment is the only way...but the fact is - she can NO LONGER HELP HERSELF. Family must step in- somehow. I was right where you are and was getting ready to just take over but I was too late. So many years of -"I'll handle this or I'm doing good" -you start to believe it -you want to believe and so you do - then...
WHAM it's out of control- over and over the cycle goes. I know, man do I know.
My mom passed away with cirrhosis. If your mom is willing to go, the hospital can tell if this stage has set in by simply rubbing the liver area. I didn't know anything about cirrhosis until it was printed on her death certificate. I know now through lots of research but again too late. If your mom see's or is told by a doctor about the seriousness of her state then MAYBE... she will listen. There is no clear cut answer to this problem. I know you feel alone - but believe me you're not. I wish I could help more- but I hope I gave you my understanding with love & support.
I hope I didn't scare you - with this report but it's true.
I wish I could sugar coat the answer but it may help more to know straight forward. Again much love to you- if you need me I'll be here- I understand.
Angela
Advice- Get her to the hospital ASAP (Some may argue against me)
I know if it's against her will then you're stuck but see if she will go.
My mom was in denial until the end and refused help. She like your mom was sober for seven years and started drinking again. I cherish those seven wonderful yrs. - she was so free and happy. I know how painful this all is - believe me, I know. The disappointment, pain, anger, helplessness, fear, depression and love all mixed up together. I know you've heard it all -right?- Like: Let her come to get help on her own terms, or detachment is the only way...but the fact is - she can NO LONGER HELP HERSELF. Family must step in- somehow. I was right where you are and was getting ready to just take over but I was too late. So many years of -"I'll handle this or I'm doing good" -you start to believe it -you want to believe and so you do - then...
WHAM it's out of control- over and over the cycle goes. I know, man do I know.
My mom passed away with cirrhosis. If your mom is willing to go, the hospital can tell if this stage has set in by simply rubbing the liver area. I didn't know anything about cirrhosis until it was printed on her death certificate. I know now through lots of research but again too late. If your mom see's or is told by a doctor about the seriousness of her state then MAYBE... she will listen. There is no clear cut answer to this problem. I know you feel alone - but believe me you're not. I wish I could help more- but I hope I gave you my understanding with love & support.
I hope I didn't scare you - with this report but it's true.
I wish I could sugar coat the answer but it may help more to know straight forward. Again much love to you- if you need me I'll be here- I understand.
Angela
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