Mr. Christian

I’m so mad!
Well my STBX has not contacted Ford on the car she got repo’d.
The is still money owing on it even after they sold it.
Well now I get a letter from an attorney saying they will take legal action.
This is the letter I sent off to her, including the one from the law office:

Thursday, July 07, 2005


Hi #@$%,

I hope your doing well.
Listen I need your help with something here. As you well know I have been trying to pay off some of our bills, it’s happening slowly, but I’m working on it.
Now FORD has hired an attorney to come after us for your car.
Can you please call them and make some sort of arrangements on payment?
I can only handle so much of what we have.
I really need you to call them.
Please call me on this if you need to, but this is really important so we do not get stuck in court or BOTH our wages garnished.


Christian.
:hairout

Soul Catcher

Wow, this isn't good is it? That sounds like a very nice letter. You wrote it nicer then I would have. Can you call Ford? Do you have a divorce attorney yet? If so let the attorney know that you have a divorce pending and he can get ahold of the Ford company. You can ask in the divorce that she is responsible for the car. If your name is on the car, will she send a letter excluding you from all financial responsibilities? I take it your married. If your not and you co-signed then I think your in financial trouble and then you ARE responsible for it also. I know that's horrible. I hope your stbx does the right thing by you. Good luck.

Mr. Christian

Unfortunately I have not acquired an attorney. Since she and I parted I have had the great honor of being laid off twice, and with that, everything is behind. I have no extra cash to even start anything. Called Ford they do not care.
Any advice?

EndOfRoadWife

Sorry to hear that! I know this happened to a friend of mine..Their Jeep got repo'd and their divorce is not final yet..I'll have to ask her what happened about it..She never had any of her wages garnished, I do know that..

elizabeth1979

Mr Christian,

I had a car repo's in 2003 and still owed money on it after it was auctioned. They should be willing to take a settlement thats lower than the total amount due if she has savings. But, more importantly, bc I am guessing she does not have the kind of cash, and you surely dont at this hard time, they will likely not garnish any wages for at least a period of 9-12 months. I say likely here, bc it varies from state to state, but those letters are standard. I do not tell you this to make it sound like its no big deal, but more so to help calm yourself. The best thing you can do is separate yourself legally from this woman or you will go down financially with her. You could also tell Ford that you need some time to contact the other loanee, who has gone AWOL.
Take care of yourself

drgnfly30

Several years ago I had to voluntarily surrender (repo) a car that we couldn't afford payments on.. they auctioned it off & we ended up owing several thousand dollars on it... I got a couple of threatening letters demanding money, threatening legal action... we didn't have the means to make any payments on it... in the end they did nothing.. it stayed on our credit for about 3 years then 'dropped' off... I think that the cost of the legal action outweighed the amount we owed them & they 'wrote it off'.... Of course we risked getting our wages attached etc... but in the end it all worked out...

However, in your case I'd definately consult a divorce lawyer... I've had several friends get divorced recently & the lawyers all accepted payments after the divorce was finalized.

Good luck!
Christine

Mr. Christian

Thank you all for writing, you have put my mind at ease a bit.


UPDATE:
Well, it took a year and some moving on but today I spoke to an attorney for the first time.
We covered a lot of ground and he is sending me the paper work to 1st file a BK, and then counseled me about divorce.
After I talked to him I broke down. It was all I could do to even talk to the man and tell him my story.

Still so many feelings after a year, so many unanswered questions still fill my mind.
She left me alone a year ago, but she is still in this house. There are so many wounds that even time has not healed.

I held her for so many nights when she was so sick and dried her tears when life was too much for her.
All those years, gone, but they are still here as if they just happened.
It was so very hard for me today to deal with this and not to sure about this evening yet. But I’m here.

Soul Catcher

Your going to go through the same stages as a grieving person, as if someone has died. Anger, fear, laughter, blame...there are three more but I can't remember. Sounds like your going the right path. I wish you luck always. Your heart will take you where you need to be. God Bless.

gelfling

Mr. C,

We're all here for you. ((((((((((((((((((Christian))))))))))))))))))

CatsTail

Are you getting counselling for this plus coming here?

It's time to seperate yourself legally from her so you don't go down any farther.

Ngaire

Mr. Christian

Ngaire,
I was going through counselling a few months back, but not now.

You know I do believe that I will be giving up drinking any alcohol myself now also.
The whole scene of bars and people that hang out with them, the club, ect have gotten to me.

I'm also very tired of strange women right about now. You know I thought I had issues in life, but damn some of the people I meet in and out of program are wacked!

CatsTail

Mr. Christian,

Bars are one of the worst places to meet anyone worth meeting.

And as far as people in the program we aren't there because we are well. Being in a program doesn't gaurantee recovery.

Ngaire

Mr. Christian

Ditto to both my friend.

I have never in my whole life felt so all alone.
Just the simple company of a woman, or to be held.
I juast do not know how much more I can deal with.

nocellphone

How often I forget this! My own denial, I suppose...

I know that as I become healthier, I attract healthier people into my life. We attract what we are, as I've been told.

Yes, despite years of recovery, I still attract the odd wackadoodle into my space. The difference today is in how I respond. Today I've stopped moving them into my home. Today I can detach with love and leave 'em where I found 'em. Mmmm... serenity!!!

nocellphone

Please bear in mind that feelings are not facts. You're not alone; your situation just isn't what you want it to be.

Many times, my wants aren't met. Always, my needs are.

EndOfRoadWife

Keep pluggin ahead Christian There will be light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it just takes a long journey to reach.....It will get better!!!

blueangel

when i was married to my ex hubby (only sober man i ever met..lol) we discovered while trying to get financing to build a house that regardless of who pays what according to the divorce decree in this state he was still financially responsible for all of his ex wifes bills even though she had remarried herself. when me and him ended up in divorce court due to mental complications resulting from a by-pass surgery of his I ended up filing divorce for all of the medical bills we had incured to to his heart condition. filing bancruptcy may be the only way of ridding yourself of her bills depending on the laws of the state you are in. It was my only alternative and im sure this is not the only state that has the laws like this. By the way even though me and him are divorced, and I am remarried to my AH, and my house deed and mortgage is in mine and my daughters name, we still can't get his name untangled from this house loan even though his name is nowhere on any paperwork. Gotta love some of the odd laws we have. On the other mate note concerning meeting new people I swear that if this marriage doesn't work, I'm going to hang out at AA meetings where I can at least catch one that I already know is screwed up but getting help..lol

cwohio

(((mr c))) you have made another step forward (reluctantly but still you made it). there must be a part of you that wants to move forward or you wouldn't be here, going to meetings, etc. - you would just go into hibernation. i feel your pain and hope you can have better days ahead soon!

hugs - christie

Mr. Christian

Hello All!

NOCELL:

It’s the feelings that I must deal with. I just can’t shake them.

EORW:

I do try to reach that tunnel, it just seems that lately that light was attached to a 40 ton train heading my way.


BLUEANGEL:

I know about how the $$ thing will follow me around, so I do understand the need to take care of it.


CWOHIO:

Thank you for writing.
I have trying to move forward, but damn it’s hard ! I keep hitting walls.
Now I need to spend some big $ on car repairs or I wont make it to work..

So you see more walls!

cwohio

mr. c - i can loan you a jackhammer or how about some dynomite for those stinkin' walls? lol

hang in there buddy!!

hugs - christie