Back at work - meep!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Back at work - meep!
Hi all!!
I'm back - damn, why is the first day back at work so minging?
I got a few brief minutes on the net at the weekend on D's Mum's computer - it was lovely to see all the good wishes I'd missed before we went away, it really made me feel like people here have been cheering us on!
And thanks to folks who sent little welcome back PM's - I've got some catching up to do in the reply stakes but it wa the icing on the cake to get them all.
We did have a good time, I've loved the time we've had and D is definately coming back to life again. He loved his portable microscope! We got one whole day in walking, loads of touristy pottering, a wander down a shelly beach finding 'stuff' to look at through the new microscope, a meal out with his family AND his dad came on a walk with us when we were visiting them.
The downside has been that while D is in all other respects better on the AD's his drinking has gone up on them. It made the evenings a bit difficult because either he drank more than he really wanted to and felt crappy or he stopped but felt crappy because he still wanted more. He's been thanking me a lot for reminding him to slow up, I've been very clear that any influence I've had helping him to keep it down won't last long. Our communication has felt better through it, much less frought and he's seemed more open.
I asked him a question that seemed to really help him talk about it. I asked him to imagine that there was a way to measure control - a unit to put it in. I said 'If 0 was having no control - (like a car with no steering, no brakes, no gears, no way of slowing it or speeding it up) and 10 was absolute control (like a car perfectly tuned on a perfect road), then how much control did he feel like he has right now over his drinking, and how much did he think he had 10 years ago when it was really bad?' D said that 10 years ago he would put it at 2, he said he have said even less but he must have had some he didn't realise to be able to have slowed it down. He said that right now night by night it's about 7 but week by week it's about 5. It led to a really interesting chat.
He has the docs on Tues and he's going to ask him whether he thinks his past alcohol problems have maybe caused the depression. He's also going to ask the doc about his current level of drinking, and tell him it's gone up on the AD's. I think like the depression, he might not get it all out on the first try but he has shown he goes back to it for a second attempt. I HOPE, I HOPE, I HOPE the doc has READ HIS NOTES!!
We did have a lovely holiday - I got to try lying on a lilo for the first time (always wanted one when I was a kid!!). I swear they're harder to wagon than an unbroken horse! Lilo's are also more boyant than me and therefore nature wants them at the top of the water with me dangling underneath (not quite the relaxing experience I had in mind!). D had a go too and we both nearly wet ourselves laughing!! - That was the 'essence' of my dreams of running down the beach, WE PLAYED!! I got sunburned knees while walking in shorts - together with my otherwise blue/white legs I must have looked a right sight wrestling with a lilo!
I'm back - damn, why is the first day back at work so minging?
I got a few brief minutes on the net at the weekend on D's Mum's computer - it was lovely to see all the good wishes I'd missed before we went away, it really made me feel like people here have been cheering us on!
And thanks to folks who sent little welcome back PM's - I've got some catching up to do in the reply stakes but it wa the icing on the cake to get them all.
We did have a good time, I've loved the time we've had and D is definately coming back to life again. He loved his portable microscope! We got one whole day in walking, loads of touristy pottering, a wander down a shelly beach finding 'stuff' to look at through the new microscope, a meal out with his family AND his dad came on a walk with us when we were visiting them.
The downside has been that while D is in all other respects better on the AD's his drinking has gone up on them. It made the evenings a bit difficult because either he drank more than he really wanted to and felt crappy or he stopped but felt crappy because he still wanted more. He's been thanking me a lot for reminding him to slow up, I've been very clear that any influence I've had helping him to keep it down won't last long. Our communication has felt better through it, much less frought and he's seemed more open.
I asked him a question that seemed to really help him talk about it. I asked him to imagine that there was a way to measure control - a unit to put it in. I said 'If 0 was having no control - (like a car with no steering, no brakes, no gears, no way of slowing it or speeding it up) and 10 was absolute control (like a car perfectly tuned on a perfect road), then how much control did he feel like he has right now over his drinking, and how much did he think he had 10 years ago when it was really bad?' D said that 10 years ago he would put it at 2, he said he have said even less but he must have had some he didn't realise to be able to have slowed it down. He said that right now night by night it's about 7 but week by week it's about 5. It led to a really interesting chat.
He has the docs on Tues and he's going to ask him whether he thinks his past alcohol problems have maybe caused the depression. He's also going to ask the doc about his current level of drinking, and tell him it's gone up on the AD's. I think like the depression, he might not get it all out on the first try but he has shown he goes back to it for a second attempt. I HOPE, I HOPE, I HOPE the doc has READ HIS NOTES!!
We did have a lovely holiday - I got to try lying on a lilo for the first time (always wanted one when I was a kid!!). I swear they're harder to wagon than an unbroken horse! Lilo's are also more boyant than me and therefore nature wants them at the top of the water with me dangling underneath (not quite the relaxing experience I had in mind!). D had a go too and we both nearly wet ourselves laughing!! - That was the 'essence' of my dreams of running down the beach, WE PLAYED!! I got sunburned knees while walking in shorts - together with my otherwise blue/white legs I must have looked a right sight wrestling with a lilo!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Glad to hear you had a good time and, depsite the drinking, I am glad too that it sounds like D is taking ownership of his problems. Baby steps, but important ones.
Love
Minnie
xxx
p.s. Lilos and elegance do not go hand in hand for me. Or, I suspect, for anyone.
Love
Minnie
xxx
p.s. Lilos and elegance do not go hand in hand for me. Or, I suspect, for anyone.
*
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lincolnshire, England
Posts: 464
:e07g
We haven't got a lilo smilie so this one will have to do
I'm so glad you two had a great time Equus, it feels like you can breathe normaly for a while doesn't it?
I hope that D gets everything across to the Dr and that the Dr does his research! Fingers crossed.
Welcome home!
We haven't got a lilo smilie so this one will have to do
I'm so glad you two had a great time Equus, it feels like you can breathe normaly for a while doesn't it?
I hope that D gets everything across to the Dr and that the Dr does his research! Fingers crossed.
Welcome home!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
:e07g <---- This was what I had in mind! The reality was a little more like this though:
(You have to imagine it as a me beneath the waves)!
I really thought I'd be able to doze and read a book while lilo'ing!! Just goes to show that life is just a journey of learning!
(You have to imagine it as a me beneath the waves)!
I really thought I'd be able to doze and read a book while lilo'ing!! Just goes to show that life is just a journey of learning!
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