just dont know how im going to hang on much longer.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: mountian home, ar
Posts: 19
just dont know how im going to hang on much longer.
I just feel so crappy, my AH is just on my last nerve today. He says i will not get to drunk tonight so we can have a nice night and watch a movie????
well why does he make me feel like a doormatt??? he know he is an A. Cause i go to al-anon he thinks it great i dont bitch any more. So than he just goes of the deep end some times. Well i am stupped enough to have hope of a nice night. ya silly me. i know better than to have expectations.
i come home hes out and when he gets home he is with his work buddys and to the point he wants to pick a fight so he can turn it around on me !!!!!
and agin pissed him self, and people are over.. i do know his bad behavore
is out of my controle but i , still get emberred.
I just dont know if ill make it. i am trying to stay till we get our house sold and than i am gone. i dont want him to know cause then he willnot finish it.
its only take 7 years and 2 major accidents. he will not let me hire it out.
WHAT DO I DO , HOW DO I GET THREW FOR AN OTHER FEW MONTHS WITH OUT GOING CRAZY??????????????? :mad
I come here SR it helps so much when i cant get to a meeting . I pray and read, but im going nuts. thanks for letting me vent , and if any one has a suggestion just let me know i would apperciate it.
thanks in advance.
well why does he make me feel like a doormatt??? he know he is an A. Cause i go to al-anon he thinks it great i dont bitch any more. So than he just goes of the deep end some times. Well i am stupped enough to have hope of a nice night. ya silly me. i know better than to have expectations.
i come home hes out and when he gets home he is with his work buddys and to the point he wants to pick a fight so he can turn it around on me !!!!!
and agin pissed him self, and people are over.. i do know his bad behavore
is out of my controle but i , still get emberred.
I just dont know if ill make it. i am trying to stay till we get our house sold and than i am gone. i dont want him to know cause then he willnot finish it.
its only take 7 years and 2 major accidents. he will not let me hire it out.
WHAT DO I DO , HOW DO I GET THREW FOR AN OTHER FEW MONTHS WITH OUT GOING CRAZY??????????????? :mad
I come here SR it helps so much when i cant get to a meeting . I pray and read, but im going nuts. thanks for letting me vent , and if any one has a suggestion just let me know i would apperciate it.
thanks in advance.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: wish I was somewhere else
Posts: 4
I wish I could tell you how to get through the next few months.I've been going through this for 8+ years now.My AH took off a couple hours ago,since he took the last of the money this morning for vodka,there is no money for cigs.So I'm a horrible you know what,I only think of myself,blah blah blah.It was just an excuse to leave.I can't wait until i can get a divorce.I start meetings on Friday.I know he'll be completely bombed that night,because he thinks I'm just out to hurt him.Doesn't matter that he's done nothing but hurt me for the past 8 years.It's their problem,not ours.We'll get through this. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8
Well, at least we are not alone. I am sorry to hear that you are both going through these things too, but I appreciate the company and shared understanding. Ollie-o, I am sorry you have had this for 8 years. Thinking that far ahead, I don't think I could handle this level that long. (We have been married for over 20 years, but it's getting worse and I don't know why.)
Think how many of us are out here! I was reading these messages because we seem to be escalating in my house, with my A/H starting to (TRY) to pick more fights and turn it around to the fault of....me, the kids...the insurance company...whoever. I tell the kids not to argue and to leave, as you can't argue with alcohol. He looks so miserable. He is no fun to be around.
I just started going to meetings, but I haven't told him they are for Al Anon.
I am trying to detach and talk to my kids about what is happening. I am just staying out of his way. I would like to think that I can say something to him when he is verbally abusive, but he wouldn't listen. He seems to think the world is out to get him. He will drink beer and Jack Daniels every night and then go to our cabin on the weekends and drink until he passes out. Needless to say, we don't want to spend time there anymore. I will spend some time with him but leave when his eyes are red, his speech is slurred, and he is stumbling. He doesn't even argue. I don't know the way out of this, except that I have to pray and I know I have NO CONTROL over him, what he feels, how he thinks, or what he does. I can remove myself from the vicinity if he is abusive. If the time comes when I cannot handle the situation, I will have to be prepared to leave. (I have no way to do this now!) I truly pray that time doesn't come. It's hard not knowing what I am supposed to do. It has to be one day at a time (hour at a time, moment at a time.) It seems to be worse now that the kids are older and we are facing empty nest.
Trying to be...calmlady
Think how many of us are out here! I was reading these messages because we seem to be escalating in my house, with my A/H starting to (TRY) to pick more fights and turn it around to the fault of....me, the kids...the insurance company...whoever. I tell the kids not to argue and to leave, as you can't argue with alcohol. He looks so miserable. He is no fun to be around.
I just started going to meetings, but I haven't told him they are for Al Anon.
I am trying to detach and talk to my kids about what is happening. I am just staying out of his way. I would like to think that I can say something to him when he is verbally abusive, but he wouldn't listen. He seems to think the world is out to get him. He will drink beer and Jack Daniels every night and then go to our cabin on the weekends and drink until he passes out. Needless to say, we don't want to spend time there anymore. I will spend some time with him but leave when his eyes are red, his speech is slurred, and he is stumbling. He doesn't even argue. I don't know the way out of this, except that I have to pray and I know I have NO CONTROL over him, what he feels, how he thinks, or what he does. I can remove myself from the vicinity if he is abusive. If the time comes when I cannot handle the situation, I will have to be prepared to leave. (I have no way to do this now!) I truly pray that time doesn't come. It's hard not knowing what I am supposed to do. It has to be one day at a time (hour at a time, moment at a time.) It seems to be worse now that the kids are older and we are facing empty nest.
Trying to be...calmlady
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
The only thing that works for me is to take one day, one hour, one second, one breath at a time.
Meetings. SR. Prayer and meditation.
You'll get through. This too shall pass.
Meetings. SR. Prayer and meditation.
You'll get through. This too shall pass.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8
I heard something today which is food for thought...it was said at a funeral
We think we want the peace the world could maybe give...no war, no problems, no worries, no fears..
The "peace that passeth understanding" is LOVE IN THE MIDDLE OF war, problems, worries, and fears.....
calmlady
We think we want the peace the world could maybe give...no war, no problems, no worries, no fears..
The "peace that passeth understanding" is LOVE IN THE MIDDLE OF war, problems, worries, and fears.....
calmlady
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: over the rainbow
Posts: 487
FOB that is what i was going to post---LET GO!!
he feeds off of your anger- so step out of the loop when he tries to make a fight. it will get worse before it gets better-but it does work. maybe you could start singing a song to yourself when he starts to get at you.
i know i had this one song which started coming to me everytime he would begin to raise my ire or anxiety. it is a new age song done by an older artist- i think it is joanie mitchell-
but it is almost like a chant-- deep peace of the highest kind to you.....(something like that). it definitely carried me through the really tough parts.
he feeds off of your anger- so step out of the loop when he tries to make a fight. it will get worse before it gets better-but it does work. maybe you could start singing a song to yourself when he starts to get at you.
i know i had this one song which started coming to me everytime he would begin to raise my ire or anxiety. it is a new age song done by an older artist- i think it is joanie mitchell-
but it is almost like a chant-- deep peace of the highest kind to you.....(something like that). it definitely carried me through the really tough parts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: mountian home, ar
Posts: 19
Thanks for all you hartfull thoughts., i will try the song, and know i am the only one that can make the choises. I guess thats why i get so much from SR cause i dont feel so alone in my problems. I make me remember there are always people out there with the same thing and so may are willing to listen, help and pray. I find a lot of wisdon here ideas to pull from. thanks again.
best of luck and prayes to all
best of luck and prayes to all
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