Optimistic to pestimistic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: LONDON
Posts: 27
Optimistic to pestimistic
My husband is such a pestimistic old sod. Wish he would look at a glass and see it as half full,rather then half empty. I try and think of ways to get him to change his attitude. Some times it works and other times it doesn't. The drinking probably makes it much easier for him to sink into a sloppy mood. Wouldn't I love to get in his brain and relax, rejuvenate, inspire and optimistic his brain cells. Maybe I could do something to that grey matter,which is responible for the mental functions. Use my
imagination and change his axons,dendrites
just emerging from those neurons. Change his ability to perceive things. Make them optimistic rather then pestimistic!
Okay,I know this is a wild dream and I must come back to a real world. But thanks for letting me dream a dream. Know I can not control him or change him. He has to do it himself. But what fun I can have dreaming. This is a optimistic experience for me. What do the rest of you to keep yourself optimistic? Looking for ideas here. Thanks.
imagination and change his axons,dendrites
just emerging from those neurons. Change his ability to perceive things. Make them optimistic rather then pestimistic!
Okay,I know this is a wild dream and I must come back to a real world. But thanks for letting me dream a dream. Know I can not control him or change him. He has to do it himself. But what fun I can have dreaming. This is a optimistic experience for me. What do the rest of you to keep yourself optimistic? Looking for ideas here. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 49
Try stress busters like;Get organized - Plan, schedule, take notes, and keep good records. For example, use a calendar, computer software organizer, or write out a "to do" list. Organizing the details of your daily life reduces stress. Save your memory for more creative and pleasurable activities.
Rehearse (visualize) - When you know that you are going to face a stressful situation, rehearse how you are going to handle it. Picture yourself overcoming it successfully. Create a mental "videotape" that you can play over and over in your mind. This technique reinforces your successfully overcoming any anticipated stressful situation. Rehearsing through visualization will reduce the amount of stress that normally accompanies an event, just as the Olympic athlete does when they are preparing for an event or competition. He or she rehearses the event focusing on the difficult tasks ahead. This mentally prepares the athlete prior to competition. Try practicing how to handle specific stressful situations. It works!
Do it now - Do your most unpleasant or most difficult task at the beginning of the day when you are fresh, thereby avoiding the stress of last minute preparation. Procrastination feeds stress!
Know your limits - Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a day. It's better to emphasize quality in your work, rather than sheer quantity. Careful scheduling of tasks will level those stressful peaks and valleys. Planing goals and objectives allows you to meet them more realistically. If you are new at goal-setting, ask someone who is experienced.
Schedule your stress - Scheduling your stressful activities can reduce the number of stressors you must juggle at any one time. Don't set identical deadlines for major projects. Schedule some "breathing" space that will allow you time for "recharging" and creative thinking. You'll also be better prepared when an unanticipated task arrives.
Treat your body right - You will have more self-confidence and energy, and be less likely to experience the physical side effects of stress when you eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep and exercise regularly.
Positive Self-Talk - One of the first things you can do in facing stressful situations is to reinforce your resolve through positive statements such as, "I can handle this, one step at a time," or "Since I've been successful with this before, there's no reason why I can't do it again".
Take Charge - Take responsibility for making your life what you want it to be. It is less stressful to make decisions and take action than to feel powerless and react to other's decisions. Decide what you want and go for it!
Develop a Sense of Humor - One of the barriers to stress reduction is the temptation to take things too seriously. It's okay to back off from your intensity and see the humor in life's situations. Laugh a little.
Humorous or ironic phrases are always worth remembering they can also lighten a stressful day. One that always brings a smile to my lips, and makes me think things are not as bad as I imagine, comes from an American Civil War general. On looking over his barricade to the enemy, he said,' It's all right boys, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist . . .' Learn two or three phrases that are meaningful to you and use them often. They will repay your effort many times over.
One more.
Do the Pollyanna
Remember the Movie Pollyanna ! (Don't laugh !) Pollyanna felt good about life despite all her obstacles. She looked at the sun instead of doom and gloom. Remember she played the glad game. She thought in every circumstance, "What can I be glad about in this!" From now on, find one good thing to be glad about in every circumstance that you may find yourself in. Ask your kids "what can we be glad about at this moment?" They will grow up looking for the Joy in all their life's circumstances !
Go out to Blockbuster and Rent Pollyanna.
Rehearse (visualize) - When you know that you are going to face a stressful situation, rehearse how you are going to handle it. Picture yourself overcoming it successfully. Create a mental "videotape" that you can play over and over in your mind. This technique reinforces your successfully overcoming any anticipated stressful situation. Rehearsing through visualization will reduce the amount of stress that normally accompanies an event, just as the Olympic athlete does when they are preparing for an event or competition. He or she rehearses the event focusing on the difficult tasks ahead. This mentally prepares the athlete prior to competition. Try practicing how to handle specific stressful situations. It works!
Do it now - Do your most unpleasant or most difficult task at the beginning of the day when you are fresh, thereby avoiding the stress of last minute preparation. Procrastination feeds stress!
Know your limits - Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a day. It's better to emphasize quality in your work, rather than sheer quantity. Careful scheduling of tasks will level those stressful peaks and valleys. Planing goals and objectives allows you to meet them more realistically. If you are new at goal-setting, ask someone who is experienced.
Schedule your stress - Scheduling your stressful activities can reduce the number of stressors you must juggle at any one time. Don't set identical deadlines for major projects. Schedule some "breathing" space that will allow you time for "recharging" and creative thinking. You'll also be better prepared when an unanticipated task arrives.
Treat your body right - You will have more self-confidence and energy, and be less likely to experience the physical side effects of stress when you eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep and exercise regularly.
Positive Self-Talk - One of the first things you can do in facing stressful situations is to reinforce your resolve through positive statements such as, "I can handle this, one step at a time," or "Since I've been successful with this before, there's no reason why I can't do it again".
Take Charge - Take responsibility for making your life what you want it to be. It is less stressful to make decisions and take action than to feel powerless and react to other's decisions. Decide what you want and go for it!
Develop a Sense of Humor - One of the barriers to stress reduction is the temptation to take things too seriously. It's okay to back off from your intensity and see the humor in life's situations. Laugh a little.
Humorous or ironic phrases are always worth remembering they can also lighten a stressful day. One that always brings a smile to my lips, and makes me think things are not as bad as I imagine, comes from an American Civil War general. On looking over his barricade to the enemy, he said,' It's all right boys, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist . . .' Learn two or three phrases that are meaningful to you and use them often. They will repay your effort many times over.
One more.
Do the Pollyanna
Remember the Movie Pollyanna ! (Don't laugh !) Pollyanna felt good about life despite all her obstacles. She looked at the sun instead of doom and gloom. Remember she played the glad game. She thought in every circumstance, "What can I be glad about in this!" From now on, find one good thing to be glad about in every circumstance that you may find yourself in. Ask your kids "what can we be glad about at this moment?" They will grow up looking for the Joy in all their life's circumstances !
Go out to Blockbuster and Rent Pollyanna.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: AK
Posts: 143
When my H tries to rain on my parade I just tell him all the things I am thankful for. A roof over my head, food in the pantry, bills are paid, car is running good, kids are healthy, sun is shinning today, rain is helping the flowers bloom. Just recently I told him I wanted to replace the carpet in the whole house. He once again reminded me that the house needed a new roof first, he has been saying this for 4 yrs. I told him I realized the roof came first but I could let him know what my plans were, it did not mean I wanted it done today or even tomorrow. I then proceeded to say guess what, we need a new roof, in as many ways as I possibly could to get it through his brain that I new we needed it. Finally he started discussing with me the carpeting. Irritating yes but I got my point across. I don't know if we will ever share the same hopes and dreams but mine are mine and he cannot take them from me. I will get what I want by myself if need be. I tune him out with the negative and only accept the positive.
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