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What do you DO?

Old 06-16-2005, 05:39 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
sober in KY
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What do you DO?

Since I've stopped drinking, I've basically switched to other addictions. What do you do to stay healthy and get out of this mad cycle?

I've been doing a lot more "outside of home" things such as biking, jogging with my dog (when she can keep up), even trying to be more sociable with my family (who know that I can't drink.)

But still, I live alone (which I like; don't get me wrong!) but nights are difficult. I get restless and stuff. I also get more emotional at night. I take meds for depression/anxiety, but it isn't the same.

Going online obviously helps, and talking to friends and stuff... but my friends don't really "get it." They think, well, Ashes had this problem and she went to rehab and now she's all better. And no one mentions it to me. Which is both good and bad. But it is still embarrassing when I go to my sister's house or something and they are obviously drinking Captain & Coke (as usual) and they ask me whether I want Iced Tea, soda or water. Even if they'd just say something like, "what do you want to drink?" that would be better. Of course I wouldn't ask for anything alcoholic.

Anyway... back to the question... At night, when you feel like crawling out of your skin... what do you do?

~ashes
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Old 06-16-2005, 05:50 AM
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Well, Ashes, it sounds like you're doing really well. I can tell you what worked for me. I was truly blessed to become involved as a volunteer at the time I stopped drinking and it has truly helped me time and again. At the time I thought it would be good to do something to help other people, little knowing that I would be the one who got so much back. It gets you outside of yourself and involves you with others.

Love, Anna
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Old 06-16-2005, 08:02 AM
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Hey Ashes--What do I DO? Well, since you asked--I go to meetings where I can hang out with other sober people and learn to live life without the aid of mood-altering substances. In those very difficult evening hours I found that writing, reading, talking on the phone with my sponsor or someone else in recovery, watching a good movie, etc. would help keep my mind off the lonliness until it was time to go to sleep. I don't live alone, I have a nine-year-old daughter, but in some ways I think that can sometimes make me feel more alone in the late hours of the evening because I know that even if I wanted to go somewhere, I couldn't. I assure you that as long as you don't pick up, things will get better.

Hugs--
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Old 06-16-2005, 08:13 AM
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Jack
 
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Hi....Lulu has the answer. If you're not involved in a program like AA you should get involved. Go to meetings as often as you can, get phone numbers from sober alcoholics, get a sponsor and be sure he's OK with you calling in the middle of the night, make plans to do sober activities, prayer and meditation always helps. Do enough during the day so you're tired at night and sleep. Check the internet for help with insomnia if that's what's keeping you awake and focusing on your drinking.
There's a lot you can do to help yourself get a restful night. Good luck and God bless.
Jack
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Old 06-16-2005, 08:25 AM
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I am in a simular situation, i live alone and i try to keep myself busy as much as i can. I am on my 5th day and so far it has been fairly easy, i am attending aa meetings every night which helps alot, gives me the motivation hearing others stories n how they are staying sober. I spend alot of time online, working on a message board, or playing online poker etc. I would love to volunteer but right now i think it is too early for me, i might be wrong though on the volunteering. But i know i am finally happy and i am motivated to stay sober.
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Old 06-16-2005, 08:33 AM
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sober in KY
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Thank you for the replies. I want to try them because you were kind enough to suggest them, but most of this stuff just can't fit into my schedule.

Volunteering is out for now because I work full-time and take care of my animals after work before exercising. After a full day's work (on my feet all day) I'm pretty beat. I just want to come home and relax and have a drink. Lately I come home, take care of my "girls", sometimes smoke a little something, then go exercise until I'm ready to pass out. The bad part comes when I CAN'T pass out. That's when I'm this fiending insomniac who doesn't know what to do with herself.

AA meetings would probably be a good thing, but I'd have to drive about an hour away to get to one, and I don't have time for that. I also don't have any friends who understand what this is like for me.

Another thing I want to get off my chest while I'm thinking of it...

My best friend got me to go out with her to a Karaoke bar a couple weeks ago. She promised me that she wouldn't drink, so that I'd have at least one other person there not drinking along with me. Well, I did NOT drink, I'm glad to say, but she DID. It was basically me and a few of her friends from work that I didn't know. I only ever normally hang out with her alone or with my family.

Anyway, she also didn't tell me that my ex was going to be there until we were just about to leave. So that made me even more anxious. I ended up walking out around 10:30 (after about an hour) just because I felt very uncomfortable and I didn't think anyone would really notice. My friend called around 1:30 - left a message saying that her cell phone needed to be charged and where the hell did I go? Was I outta line there? I also had a half-hour drive home.

~ashes
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Old 06-16-2005, 08:33 AM
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Just a quick thought for okietiger--right on for your continuing sobriety and attendance at AA meetings. It's never too early to volunteer for AA work. You may not be ready to chair meetings, but you can help make coffee, pick up cups/ashtrays, tag along to "outside" meetings like penientiary or treatment. The fact that you are new and trying will be inspiration to others. Ashes--the doggie is beautiful--what a sweet and loving face. If you have the inclination I have found doing "handwork", crochet, knit, embroider helps me a lot when I'm feeling "nervous". But, you can also take up other things--keep an open mind for an outlet for creativity. Also, if you have a sponsor--now is the time to start working those steps--that will fill up a lot of spare time. Finally, for the middle of the night times--I have found great inspiration, comfort, and enjoyment in listening to AA talks whether it be on CD or cassette and since you live alone--you can turn it on/up anytime you feel like! Blessings
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