cloudy

2 years ago, I excitedly told a friend that once this house was purchased she just had to come see it but that I wouldn’t say where it was until that point because I wanted it all taken in at once. Well that was about the time things really started hitting the fan but I didn't know why yet, and 3 months later it hit full force and just kept on going. So I never called her back. She was a friend I used to work with see movies with and kept in touch with on an occasional basis. Today I came into work and there’s a message saying to call her.

I do not want to call her because everything is such a mess right now and I really don’t feel able to talk to her in a serious manner about anything that’s been happening. I do feel bad for never calling her back I’m sure she wonders what my deal is.

I can’t just call and be all oh everythings fine how are you? Because it’s not, nor has it been. So if I don’t feel I can talk to her about any of this, what should I do? And is this a healthy way for me to feel? I like her but never really felt her to be a "serious" conversation type friend whom I could trust with something like this let alone the general public just doesn't understand anyway. But I can't just run away either right? Ahg.

If I felt she would handle things in a confidential and understanding way, I'd tell her. I'd say I'm sorry for not ever calling again, things fell apart and I just isolated and didn't feel I could talk to anyone and also keep his confidentiality same time, as well as an understanding of how all this works...you know?

Anyone got tickets out of the country I can have.... Crazy huh....

GettingBy

She called you for a reason... did the message say why? If not, I think you're just worry about too many of the "what ifs." What if she asks you why you didn't call? What if you tell her what's really going? What if she doesn't understand?

I say give her a call back and stop worrying about all the bad what ifs. Because what if she really misses you and is worried about you and you end up telling her the truth and you feel better for finally letting it out? What if she's going through something similiar too?

You don't have to tell her anything that you don't feel comfortable saying... but I think trying to hide from her is only going to make you feel worse (I know b/c I've done it myself!). Avoiding talking to people does not make situations go away.

Maybe your HP thinks she's a good person to help you with what you're going through right now?

minnie

When I first started talking about what had been going on with my then A fiance after keeping it hidden for so long, I spoke to someone that I hadn't talked to in ages and who wasn't a part of my every day life. It was great! She is a really good friend now and it helped so much as a kind of "practice run" for opening up to family and closer friends. It wasn't a conscious thing at all - I just got this urge to call her, probably from my HP.

cwohio

cloudy - i agree with GB - you really don't know (that brain churn thing will get us every time). remember there's a reason for everything including her calling you. don't isolate - she doesn't have to know all the details - just say things have been crazy in you life (that's the truth)!

hugs - chris

equus

Change the tense and....

I'll say... I'm sorry for not calling again, things fell apart and I just isolate and don't feel I can talk to anyone and also keep his confidentiality.

Add to that your choice of the below:

'I don't mind talking about how I feel though'
'Sorry I just need to keep to myself for a while - I will get back in touch when my head's screwed on'
'Sorry I just need to keep to myself for a while, I really haven't fallen out'
'I'd love to see a movie but miss out on giving all my news'

Etc etc - I dunno - just an idea as you seem to have stated the first half so well.