Results of my court date.....
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Results of my court date.....
Hi everyone,
I posted a few days ago about my upcoming court date, asking for an increase of child support from my former husband.
Today was the day.
In a nutshell, God works brilliantly.
He never provided any of the required financial docs (Tax returns, yr to date income etc) thereby breaking the law of full disclosure. Just 5 mins prior to the hearing, his attorney arrives, bearing some of the documents. Of course, my attorney, Ivonne and I, knew this was insufficient for us to be fully prepared to commence a trial, she just said lets see what the judge says.
The judge was not happy. She rebuked them, lectured them on the law and responsiblity, and ordered my ex to pay for my attorneys fees for todays trial ($550).
She then gave me a choice: Continue with todays hearing with limited disclosure or reschedule a future day. This was a huge decision as I had
"expected" the emotional drama to end today.
Ivonne and I conferred privately, and as I heard what options, pros/cons for each choice, I knew immediately that my only option was to continue to stand up for myself and my son and reschedule the date. You see, I am entitled to what the law allows, which is full knowledge of how much money he is making in order to provide better for our son. I am also allowed compensation for wasting my time and money by his not turning over the documents. I decided to not take the easier, softer way out by just getting it over with today.Thats what my fear wanted me to do.
I decided that if God brought me to today, he will bring me thru the next court date.
So, as I returned to the court room, I thanked God quielty for taking care of me today, and I asked him to take care of my ex too. He looked awful, drained. His voice was shaky and nervous, his anxiety was obvious. I felt no anger whats so ever. I felt total sadness and compassion. I thought of a few days ago, when I asked him if we could settle this quietly, out of court, which he rejected.
He is in the full depths of alcoholism and there is not one thing I can do to help him. God can. I think I will let him.
They say that courage is fear that has said its prayers. It was for me today.
I cant believe I even doubted my higher power is caring for me. I guess Im just human. I think its time for a cry now. I havent let it out yet.
Let go and let god.
Thanks for listening..again!
I posted a few days ago about my upcoming court date, asking for an increase of child support from my former husband.
Today was the day.
In a nutshell, God works brilliantly.
He never provided any of the required financial docs (Tax returns, yr to date income etc) thereby breaking the law of full disclosure. Just 5 mins prior to the hearing, his attorney arrives, bearing some of the documents. Of course, my attorney, Ivonne and I, knew this was insufficient for us to be fully prepared to commence a trial, she just said lets see what the judge says.
The judge was not happy. She rebuked them, lectured them on the law and responsiblity, and ordered my ex to pay for my attorneys fees for todays trial ($550).
She then gave me a choice: Continue with todays hearing with limited disclosure or reschedule a future day. This was a huge decision as I had
"expected" the emotional drama to end today.
Ivonne and I conferred privately, and as I heard what options, pros/cons for each choice, I knew immediately that my only option was to continue to stand up for myself and my son and reschedule the date. You see, I am entitled to what the law allows, which is full knowledge of how much money he is making in order to provide better for our son. I am also allowed compensation for wasting my time and money by his not turning over the documents. I decided to not take the easier, softer way out by just getting it over with today.Thats what my fear wanted me to do.
I decided that if God brought me to today, he will bring me thru the next court date.
So, as I returned to the court room, I thanked God quielty for taking care of me today, and I asked him to take care of my ex too. He looked awful, drained. His voice was shaky and nervous, his anxiety was obvious. I felt no anger whats so ever. I felt total sadness and compassion. I thought of a few days ago, when I asked him if we could settle this quietly, out of court, which he rejected.
He is in the full depths of alcoholism and there is not one thing I can do to help him. God can. I think I will let him.
They say that courage is fear that has said its prayers. It was for me today.
I cant believe I even doubted my higher power is caring for me. I guess Im just human. I think its time for a cry now. I havent let it out yet.
Let go and let god.
Thanks for listening..again!
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Thanks all, for your kind support.
after I did a good cry, and asked God to help him, I called him to tell him that I was sad at where we are at and that I loved him. He said he loved me too. He had no anger, which was a blessing. I could hear, however, that he just does not know how to feel.
Maybe someday,though, he will.
Always have hope. Always.
after I did a good cry, and asked God to help him, I called him to tell him that I was sad at where we are at and that I loved him. He said he loved me too. He had no anger, which was a blessing. I could hear, however, that he just does not know how to feel.
Maybe someday,though, he will.
Always have hope. Always.
JstBcuz
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 82
Friendofbill
I give U so much credit. My loser of a crackhead, AH actually got me to lower his CS as of FEB 14th 05 from $120 a week to $70 a week. They put a judgement on him for $3000.00 and still has not paid a thing I think he owes me like $1200.00 since Feb plus the $3000 back. He just called me the other day crying to release the judgement cause his truck registration has to be redone, and with a BACK CHILD SUPPORT JUDGEMENT you can not registrer a car/truck what ever in your name they suspend the drivers licience. I told him DON'T cry to me, just STOP paying the CRACK DEALERS and stop etting HIGH AND DRUNCK AND BE A F-ING FATHER to your son. be a real man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah thank you I need to vent.
Peace be with you
I am getting ready to get off here it is 3:30am and I have to get up at 5:30 am for work! I'll be dragging ass
I give U so much credit. My loser of a crackhead, AH actually got me to lower his CS as of FEB 14th 05 from $120 a week to $70 a week. They put a judgement on him for $3000.00 and still has not paid a thing I think he owes me like $1200.00 since Feb plus the $3000 back. He just called me the other day crying to release the judgement cause his truck registration has to be redone, and with a BACK CHILD SUPPORT JUDGEMENT you can not registrer a car/truck what ever in your name they suspend the drivers licience. I told him DON'T cry to me, just STOP paying the CRACK DEALERS and stop etting HIGH AND DRUNCK AND BE A F-ING FATHER to your son. be a real man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah thank you I need to vent.
Peace be with you
I am getting ready to get off here it is 3:30am and I have to get up at 5:30 am for work! I'll be dragging ass
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 491
Excellent financial choice in the court room, your a really amazing person, to be honest I am always fascinated to see your postings whether it be replying or posting a new thread.
I know destiny will make things work out the way they were completly meant to happen for everyones best interest and guidance.
I know destiny will make things work out the way they were completly meant to happen for everyones best interest and guidance.
Binge poster
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 561
I'm impressed. The emotion and nerves during a time like that would normally get to me. It makes it hard to think.
I think one of the major things this programme is giving to a lot of us is the new knowledge that we're capable of so much more than we ever thought, and that letting go of the reins a bit works wonders.
I'm so glad for you, I know how stressful what you're doing is. If it's any consolation, you seem to have a better system over there. You can't register a car if you owe child support? Wow!
Dads can not pay for YEARS here and nothing happens - I had a friend who was owed about £30,000 and her kid was only 8. He just kept working on for himself, not bothered in the least.
I hope it all works out for you - stay brave!
You're worth it!
Jane
xxx
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Good morning, everyone.
How nice it is to wake up to see all your posts. Thank you all for your kind words. They really helps me to see how far Ive come in my recovery from being a professional codie. I feel I made the right decision for me. Its tough to not only take the action, but to deal with the feal as you go through it..I guess thats courage. Doesnt come naturally tho, for me, its God given.
Im off to take my boy to an Alateen COnference weekend (A spiritual retreat/camp for the kids). We got to Melbourne, Fla and stay at a local university in the dorms. MAkes the kinds feel very special and valued. I will return Sunday, so everyone keep working your programs, practice extreme self care and most of all, pray it away!
Hugs to you all!
Christina
How nice it is to wake up to see all your posts. Thank you all for your kind words. They really helps me to see how far Ive come in my recovery from being a professional codie. I feel I made the right decision for me. Its tough to not only take the action, but to deal with the feal as you go through it..I guess thats courage. Doesnt come naturally tho, for me, its God given.
Im off to take my boy to an Alateen COnference weekend (A spiritual retreat/camp for the kids). We got to Melbourne, Fla and stay at a local university in the dorms. MAkes the kinds feel very special and valued. I will return Sunday, so everyone keep working your programs, practice extreme self care and most of all, pray it away!
Hugs to you all!
Christina
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 49
FriendofBill,have fun at this Alateen Conference weekend. Be sure and post what it is like and what all you did.
I am a professional codie to. Maybe we all should have a club.
You seem like a really neat person.
I am a professional codie to. Maybe we all should have a club.
You seem like a really neat person.
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