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Reality Bites!

Old 06-10-2005, 10:24 PM
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Reality Bites!



I want to say hello to everyone, and I'm very happy that I found this site. Im from Alberta Canada, and have been a raging practicing alcholic for 13 years. It just seemed to sneak up on me. I remember before I started hitting the bottle, I was the one complaining about a alcholic husband who as abusive. I guess I want to say that, although I have only been sober for 12 days, I am finding myself crying alot. I missed my children growing up, as I was drunk all the time. I cry for the horrible things I have gone through, and the horrible things I have put people through. Its so very hard, life seems so much easier when you don't have to be real. I want to be real so bad, my son and his girlfriend are having a baby. I just found out 12 days ago. I want to be sober to watch this baby grow up, and I want to remember every wonderful minute. Sorry I'm rambling. Probably just feeling sorry for myself.
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Old 06-10-2005, 11:16 PM
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Welcome to SR Colleen, You will find alot of support & healing here.

You can be the best grandmother you can be especially if you are sober.

I have learned that we can not change our past. But we can change ourselves.
It is amazing now that I am clean & sober I have a better relationship with my grown children. And the grandbabies that is another story. They are my little gifts from God.
My 3 year old grandson has never seen me nodding off on the couch.

Oh and the crying thing is normal that is all I did when I 1st got clean.

Congratulations on 12 days.
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Old 06-10-2005, 11:20 PM
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Welcome!!! way to go on 12 days Colleen!!!!!! I'm originally from Alberta...Calgary actually, sure nice to see you found your way here!!!!
yep,,,my drinkin' started there...and carried threw a few other provinces besides:/
keep coming back...Sr is the best!!!
hugs & hugs , Wendy
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Old 06-11-2005, 02:52 AM
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Welcome to SoberRecovery Colleen.Congrats on 12 days.It will get better,so hang in there.
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Old 06-11-2005, 03:21 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Hi and Welcome!

SR is a great place to find support and understanding. 12 days! Super!

My name is Carol and I am an alcoholic.
I also left an abusive mariage and I am a Granny.
We nust be kin!

Please stay around and ask questions if you like.
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Old 06-11-2005, 07:41 AM
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Welcome! Stick around - lots of nice people here who want to help!
JMHS
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Old 06-11-2005, 07:44 AM
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Hello, Colleen! Welcome to SR. Glad you found us. I have found this place to be a wonderful addition to my recovery program. One day at a time, you will find sobriety and peace.

Hugs--
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Old 06-11-2005, 07:57 AM
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Hi Colleen,

Welcome from a fellow Canadian! SR is a great place to come. I know it feels so bad when you get sober and you have to deal with the reality of what you lost, what passed you by, what you gave up. But, you have a great reason to be sober now to be present for your son and his g/f and to be a wonderful grandmother.

Keep visiting, there is lots of support here.

Love, Anna
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Old 06-11-2005, 08:10 AM
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Welcome Colleen, my name is Diana and I am recovering alcoholic/addict.
I understand your statements about remorse and loss in the past, but all we can do is go forward sober, and make new memories (ones we remember) and let go of our guilt and shame.

It's so easy to torment ourselves with the shoulda coulda woulda's of the past, and for a while you will continue to do that. To a certain degree I believe it is healthy to acknowledge the damage our drinking did, as it keeps us real and humble, but watch out that you don't let the guilt and shame get so bad that you want to numb it again.

The crying I remember very vividly. I cried for the hurt that was done to me over the course of my life, and the hurt that I caused to others. I let all the pain out in tears. Very therapuetic.
As time passes with you sober, the guilt and shame will still be with you, but you will be able to keep it in check, and perspective, and accept that there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the past, only the present and future. You will learn how to forgive others and most importantly yourself.

All the best to you Colleen and congrats on 12 days!

Love Diana (also fellow Canadian)
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Old 06-11-2005, 08:40 AM
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wow! what a support team. I'm loving it!

Now you gone and done it! Im crying again! Good tears though. If what I am going through is of the norm, then I'm guessing the loneliness is also normal. I am pretty depressed most of the time, as I feel like Im going through this by myself. When I told everyone not to bring booze around my house, as I was really gonna knock this addiction. Im not sure if they thought I meant don't ever come visit at all. Bless there hearts. Im not so bad that I feel I need a drink though. Im staying focused, well, as focused as I can be right now. Very bored though. Im normal right??
Then again thats in the eye of the beholder.

I heard a quote, tis not that life is so short, its that you are dead for so long. I have a lot of time to make up for, and tons fo water to drink!
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Old 06-11-2005, 08:50 AM
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Welcome to SR Colleen, I'm kathy and I'm an addict. Congratulations of 12 days. Keep coming back there are lots of great people here.
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Old 06-11-2005, 08:56 AM
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I think bored is normal Colleen in that stopping drinking usually involves changing habits/lifestyle. I know I had to push myself to do things differently during my day. I had to change my routines and add things to my day, eg going for a long walk after supper. I also started volunteering and that has been amazing as a help to me.

Love, Anna
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